22 month old nurses more than he eats food. I need help please!

[HeatherRD]

DS will be 23 months on the 17th.  He seems to be growing fine.  Although he's at the 5th percentile, he's been that way since birth, and me and DH aren't tall people.  But he seems to eat very little.  It's not that he can't eat.  He can eat.  He likes fruit, cereal, and tofu best.  But at most meals, he eats only a small bit of food.  He nurses once during the day and about 3-4 times at night.  He had severe tooth decay due to nursing and had to have 4 teeth pulled and several cavities filled.  (long story; the first dentist told me his tooth was chipped, and thus when his other teeth looked the same, I thought his teeth were chipping - also a concern, but turns out it was decay)  I am concerned about nursing because I brush his teeth before bed and but then right after that I am nursing him to sleep, so it seems to defeat the purpose of brushing.

What should I do?  Is it normal for an almost 2 year old to nurse this much?  And eat only a little food?  How can I get him to eat more?  Should I wean him because of his teeth problems?  I know that will be a nightmare.  He loves to nurse, and when I tried ( just a couple times, because I was afraid of traumatizing him) to nightwean, he was so upset about it that I nursed him.  Should I just let him cry?  I know AP moms are against crying-it-out, so would refusing to nurse and letting him cry be the same thing?  I want to be a good mom, and I don't know what to do.  Please, moms who have been there, done that, give me some advice!!!

Thanks!!!!

[Anna Phor]

My 22 month old nurses (approximately) at bedtime, 1-2 times overnight, when he wakes up, sometimes once more before I go to work, and when I get home. So 5-6 times per 24h period.

My lactation consultant told me about a study on tooth decay and breast milk that indicated that nursing after brushing teeth was fine--basically the study found that sweet breastmilk plus solids left on the teeth could lead to tooth decay, but nursing with clean teeth shouldn't be a problem. (This works differently from bottle feeding--bottle feeding can lead to milk pooling around the teeth in the babies mouth, which can cause tooth decay).

My guy eats on average:

breakfast: 1 small piece of toast with cream cheese

morning snack: fruit and/or crackers

lunch: small lunchbox with about 1/2 cup of whatever I've packed, plus fruit

afternoon snack: cheesestick, or yogurt, or fruit/crackers

dinner: about the same as lunch.

I don't know if this is "normal" (as in "average") but I do know I have a healthy active child who is meeting milestones, if that helps.