My boys are now 4 and are in preschool with a group of about 25 kids. We decided not to seperate them at this point because they are a interdependant and the emotional trauma was just not worth it. There is a lot of room for each one to have his own friends and independance within the group, and it is working well.
The problem is, R is more "popular" (for lack of a better word) and seems to get along with most of the kids while D has a smaller group of friends and seems to be on the quieter side and play more on his own. This afternoon I got a call from a parent who's son invited just R to come over for a playdate. Both of us are not sure how to handle this. On the one hand, I want them to have their own friends apart from each other and play seperately (and it seems that they do in school) on the other hand, I feel bad for D who is not really getting invitations. (He is also more of a home body and prefers to have people come to us or not go out at all. I am trying to get him to go out and be more social, but it's a bit of a struggle). The mother of the boy is happy to have both of them over, but it's really R who is friends with him. As it stands both of them are going, but what do I do in the future when this happens again? Could it be that they are not getting invitations because people feel obligated to take them both? They are both very bright and will understand why one is going and not the other, but I really don't want anyone to feel left out, especially if they are all in the same class and do play together. How much do you interfere and let them go together and when do you seperate them and say that one is more friends with him than the other? Anyone have any experience or advice for me?