Excessively silly, possibly ADHD 6-year-old girl

[newyorkmommy]

Hi all,

Our 6-year-old dd is beyond silly. She has had a tentative ADHD diagnosis but we are evaluating further. Meantime, life at home with her -- specifically when she's with her 4.5 and 3 yo siblings -- is borderline unbearable. Almost *every* interaction they have is about the word "poop," "stupid," "hiney" or some variation thereof -- and always at top volume.

Is this focus on silly words normal at this age? Do I just need to accept it as a dynamic between her and her siblings where they wind each other up this way? I don't hear her friends doing this, but as I said, it does seem to mostly be with her siblings.

Thanks in advance.

[pianojazzgirl]

It is normal in my house with my 7yo dd and her almost-4 yr old brother.  This crazy goofy hyper silly potty talk phase has been going on for at least a year if not more.  It's actually on the decline now (thank god!) and was much worse closer to a year ago.  These days it pops up every once in a while, but a year ago it was pretty much every interaction between them.

[LynnS6]

Yep, potty humor is huge at certain ages -- and your kids are right in the middle of it. Your 6 year old will probably outgrow it soon, but since it gets such a great reaction from her sibs, she's got motivation to continue.

Two suggestions:

You could tell them that they can say those words all they want -- as long as they are in the bathroom. Those are potty words (except hiney), and are best used in the bathroom.

You could try the Playful Parenting approach and tell them, "I don't mind if you say "poop" but don't you DARE say "rutabaga"." Guess what they'll do? Say "rutabaga". Then you react in mock horror (this works well if you really ham it up), they say it again, you react, etc. That gets them the reaction they're craving without having to hear the words you hate. It even worked this summer with my 7 and 10 year old. I don't remember what my 7 year old said, but I responded with "blueberry knees" which she thought was hysterical. So for the next 3 days, their insults were things like "blueberry knees" and "banana belly".

[meemee]

you know some people never grow out of this stage right.

with her 3 and 4.5 year old yeah the amount of potty humor is normal. 

 to be very honest with you - i join my dd with this too (yes and she is 9 and its v. rare now) because i find it brings out her witty side - of maybe not saying it directly but in an indirect way. 

[prancie]

lol! i have 5 siblings and we range from ages 25-37 and we haven't grown out of this stage.  

[crowcaw]

I have 6 yo twins and I hope it's normal.  Potty talk is the funniest thing in the whole world and they become literally uncontrollably silly at the mere hint of anything scattological.  I just go with it. They are maybe beginning to outgrow it though because we play a game where they challenge me to make them laugh.  Used to take one vaguely potty related word but lately there has to be a connected series.  As long as they can control it when it's necessary (public outings, at school, when they're with other adults who may be offended), I'm okay with it and assume they'll outgrow it.  You don't hear it from your dd's friends -- do your dd's friend's parents hear it from your dd or does she keep it around the house?

[Grace and Granola]

I just have to chime in because I have a 6yo boy. He has an attitude, a very silly demeanor especially with his words and tone of voice and is often just hyper.  A couple of years back I used to look at my friends' kids who were 5 and 6 and wonder what in the world was "wrong" with them!  Now that I have my very own 6yo, I am often wondering what in the world is "wrong" with HIM!  I have recently noticed that several of my friends' previously hyper, silly, wild children have turned 7 and they are ALL noticeably more mellow kids!  This brings me great comfort and I hope it brings you some too!

[karne]

Op, is it just the potty words, which can be the age, or is it the excessive silliness that is bothering you?  When you say that life is almost unbearable because of it, it sounds like more than just being concerned about potty language or being a little silly.

Sometimes the hyperactivity piece of ADHD can look like excessive silliness, or being easily overstimulated and not being able to calm down, or being louder than everyone around you and not reading the social cues, or even your own need, to settle down.  Is this what you're experiencing?

You can also post in the special needs forum for info and support!

[Imakcerka]

She sounds so much calmer than my DD1.  She's a cyclone.  Here's when you have to worry.  Can she make friends?  Is she capable of learning without too many problems?  DD1 was diagnosed by a school counselor... ha!  Yeah ok and when I questioned her about it all with real facts that surround ADHD she backed down.  She's in advanced EVERYTHING and she's friends with everyone.  She can't sit still and so the teacher let her stand at her desk instead of sit.  Which helped so much. 

As far as the potty mouth goes, who doesn't love potty humor.  I'm an adult and last week during work we spent about an hour making fart noises... 8 adults between 30 and 50.  At home potty humor is allowed as long as it's not used at the dinner table or when we have guests.  Set limits and maybe it might calm down.

[karne]

Originally Posted by Imakcerka 

She sounds so much calmer than my DD1.  She's a cyclone.  Here's when you have to worry.  Can she make friends?  Is she capable of learning without too many problems?  DD1 was diagnosed by a school counselor... ha!  Yeah ok and when I questioned her about it all with real facts that surround ADHD she backed down.  She's in advanced EVERYTHING and she's friends with everyone.  She can't sit still and so the teacher let her stand at her desk instead of sit.  Which helped so much. 

I'm not sure what you're suggesting here.  ADHD has nothing to do with intelligence, although as time goes on, it can impede learning.  It may, or may not, interfere with social interactions.  It looks very different from girls to boys, and at different ages.  Some behaviors become better over time, with maturity, some not.

FWIW, school counselors are not equipped to diagnose neurological conditions- a developmental pedi, pedi, psychiatrist or psychologist are the more usual routes.  

[Imakcerka]

I worked with children diagnosed with numerous different things.  Children with ADHD tend to be too much for other children,  too much activity, what would be considered a bit annoying for others to want to be around often.  Children with ADHD also tend to have a harder time in the beginning stages of learning, things that you really need to pay attention.  Constantly missing little pieces of information. 

What I meant by my DD is that she was above her grade, she wasn't missing any important information and socially she wasn't pushed aside for behavior that was too much to handle.  I've seen how this works.  I was also able gauge her level with other kids I had worked with.  Who really were ADHD and really did need a little more help.  This didn't mean they were not intelligent, it meant that sometimes they missed information and when doing school work they needed extra attention from me and others, we had to explain the directions again and sometimes again.