Chat thread! 9/16-9/23 - Page 2 « Back to Group Discussions

[Baby_Cakes]

Originally Posted by Italiamom 

Carrie -- I'm sorry you're having a rough time at night. We are too. I am wondering... With our same day labors, and our same way births, and our same way sweet but fussy babes... Will your insurance pay for you to see a good lactation consultant? I completey missed DD's tongue tie, but it's there, causing a lot of our issues. Things with Finn sound so similar to what I'm experiencing with DD now. Maybe worth a shot? Right now she's getting so much air that we had to take turns last night sleeping upright holding her.
Sigh. Regardless of cause, PL is right... Sleep dep is SO hard, and makes it harder to be nice to your spouse.

AFM -- Our midwives are having their annual BBQ this afternoon. I want to go so badly, but I'm also so paranoid about germs after our hospital stay with DD. I don't know...

Did you go?  I always want to go to those things but back out at the last minute for fear of germs...and usually b/c it requires more energy than I can even pretend to have.

Thanks for your thoughts about the LC.  I went thru this same thing with DD, it should work itself out w/the block feeding and hand expressing by 8 weeks...we are almost there!  If I can get him to burp, the spitting up isn't bad.  Just very annoying.  I know I say barfing/puking, but it's not.  It's spit up.  It seems like a lot of fluid, but it can't be much more than...2-3 tbsp? at the most.  And that's RARE.  Usually it's enough to dribble out and down, but isn't a huge mess to clean up.  

Anyway, I'm so sorry Martha is still having issues.  When do you get the tie clipped?  I hear you on the sleeping upright.  Geesh.  I keep trying to remember this is the easy time.  Finn isn't yet talking back, running away from the shopping cart, breaking things in stores, or yelling MOMMYCOMEHERE every 2 seconds.  

Like this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mZQypPnjK-c

Girl can yell.  Except usually its "MOOOOMMMMMYYYY!!!" and I'm right next to her, or even better, trying to get Finn to sleep.  Oye vey.

[PoetryLover]

Thanks. Do you think it will be okay if I continue to exercise? Mind you, I'm not doing a lot, but I feel better when I'm doing at least something. I mostly do just a little walking or 15 minutes of very light exercise--just to prepare my body/muscles for exercise. I'm not sure if continuing to exercise would slow down the healing in this case or speed it up because I would be making the muscles stronger.

Originally Posted by Italiamom 

PoetryLover -- tailbone pain is actually pretty common with posterior babies. I had it quite badly for the first few weeks after DS was born, and then on and off for several months. I know that posterior babies are often significantly harder on the pelvic floor, and I believe that are quite a number of PF muscle attachments on/surrounding the tailbone (correct me here if I'm wrong Becky). My pain did go away though! But I think tailbone pain is pretty darn normal with the Sunnyside up babies.
 

[Beckily]

Eep! Somehow I thought I was following this Group and was'nt, so I have tons of catch up! I WONDERED why it was so quiet :P

[Beckily]

I love it when he gets all cuddly with my boob - he pets, hugs, face plants and licks until he falls asleep on it :D

When does that stop?

[PoetryLover]

This is going to sound strange, but I feel thinner than I am. Every time I look in my full length mirror I'm amazed to see the pouch that is my belly. I know it isn't through going down yet (about 2 weeks postpartum) and I should expect to see it, but I'm still surprised by it. My first DS was a winter baby, so I wore lots of big sweatshirts and just never noticed my belly. I couldn't wear my prepregnancy clothes at this point then, either. But this time I'm getting nervous for some reason. Maybe because DS2 was 1+ lb heavier and 3 inches longer than DS1 and I got much bigger (belly-wise) with DS2. I'm afraid I may have this pouch forever...

[nald1]

Originally Posted by PoetryLover 

This is going to sound strange, but I feel thinner than I am. Every time I look in my full length mirror I'm amazed to see the pouch that is my belly. I know it isn't through going down yet (about 2 weeks postpartum) and I should expect to see it, but I'm still surprised by it. My first DS was a winter baby, so I wore lots of big sweatshirts and just never noticed my belly. I couldn't wear my prepregnancy clothes at this point then, either. But this time I'm getting nervous for some reason. Maybe because DS2 was 1+ lb heavier and 3 inches longer than DS1 and I got much bigger (belly-wise) with DS2. I'm afraid I may have this pouch forever...

that's me exactly!!!!!  I feel so thin compared to pregnancy- then I see this funny bulge - people must think Im out power walking to get rid of my beer gut vs relieve the stress of nursing all day!!!
 

[mamamerle]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Baby_Cakes 
Girl can yell.  Except usually its "MOOOOMMMMMYYYY!!!" and I'm right next to her, or even better, trying to get Finn to sleep.  Oye vey.

My three year old seems to thing screaming is an acceptable form of communication. Coupled with the fact she talks all.the.time. Ugh. 

I am happy to report the Pod People returned my husband this morning. He got up early (for him), took the two older kids out for breakfast and to run errands. Came back and actually checked on me. Then took the kids out for lunch. Ran another errand. Came home and checked on me again. And took the kids to the park to feed ducks so I could sleep.

I feel worn out from coughing and hacking up green goo, but less like I've been run over by a truck. The sinus pressure is nearly gone and my headache is just barely there.

Now it's just me and the doodle bug snuggled up in bed while they are at a friend house for a get-together. He said they'd be home late.

I swear this is the most time he's spent with the kids... ever!

[kylaskye]

I feel and (imo) look thinner than I think I should be at this point. I lost most of my  baby weight by two weeks (~10 lbs above preprego weight at 2 weeks pp) but it's a great feeling. I honestly feel better than I have in probably my whole life. All the extra weight did somethign to build up my stamina and having it gone makes me feel so light. 

I'm still dealing with light sensitivity from the migraine I had... It's better but I can't wait for it to go away. 

I got some cleaning done today. I had Liam in the sling and was able to tidy up a bit. Not much, mind, but it's something. 

[SouthernStormy]

Originally Posted by PoetryLover 

This is going to sound strange, but I feel thinner than I am. Every time I look in my full length mirror I'm amazed to see the pouch that is my belly. I know it isn't through going down yet (about 2 weeks postpartum) and I should expect to see it, but I'm still surprised by it. My first DS was a winter baby, so I wore lots of big sweatshirts and just never noticed my belly. I couldn't wear my prepregnancy clothes at this point then, either. But this time I'm getting nervous for some reason. Maybe because DS2 was 1+ lb heavier and 3 inches longer than DS1 and I got much bigger (belly-wise) with DS2. I'm afraid I may have this pouch forever...

c
I'm the same way. I don't feel heavy at all, then I look in the mirror and see my sagging pouch. I made the mistake of googling info about it and found out that b/c I had a csection, the sagging skin most likely won't go away without surgery. I told DH we better start saving up b/c once I'm done birthing babies, I want a nice stomach back. I've always had a gigantic rear and thunder thighs, my stomach was the "nice" part of my body, not anymore though.

[egmaranian]

Geez, I blink and this thread is two pages long! I seriously can't keep up with you all. For some reason tapatalk never let's me post to this thread from my phone. So I keep typing out these long, thoughtful replies and thoughts and then I get the dreaded error message and lose it all. So irritating! So, I'm going to make more of an effort to use dh's iPad and post from the regular site from now on. I promise!

On insensitive dh's and sleepless nights: my hubby seems to think that he has earned the right to continue with his same old life routine despite the fact that we have a newborn now. He is a gym rat. Not a day goes by that he doesn't go to the gym and lift weights at 5-6 am. For some reason he thinks that because he goes thatvearly, it won't interfere with my sleep at all (I'm a major night person and left alone, would sleep till 9-10 every day!). He has totally failed to account fr the face that Nickolas ( DS 1 -28mo) CANNOT stay asleep once daddy is out if the bed. That means that I'm not only nursing Alexander non-stop, I'm also tandoming Nickolas for 10-15 minutes starting at around 5:30 am. This is after only going to bed at around 11pm at best and waking 2-3 times to help Alexander latch on during the night. I'm a total zombie these days and I hav to limit my caffeine intake to be sure it doesn't jeopardize my already low milk supply. He's totally clueless about how his damn gym schedule f's with my life these days. Plus, since he gets up at 4:30am every day, he's passing out on the couch by like 9pm every evening. Sometimes earlier. This means that I also get to put both boys to sleep on my own. Not easy since Alexander nurses literally nonstop in the evenings. Those tandem nursing pics I've put on Facebook are what goes on just about every night because it's the only way I can get Nickolas to finally go to sleep after fighting with him on bedtime until 10pm. I'm so exhausted.

On pouchy tummies: I'm more than 6 wks pp and am still 30lbs over pre-preg weight...45lbs heavier than my preferred weight. My pouch is ridiculous. I joined weight watchers a couple of weeks ago and lost 3.8 lbs at my second weigh in. I hope I can keep up a good weight loss pace. I plan to start jogging/walking next week. I'm really excited! This pouch HAS to go!

In other news: Alexander is such an awesome baby and I'm totally in love! I didn't think I'd be able to get to the point where I was ok sharing my love with both boys, but I'm finally there. Nickolas is starting to adjust a little better and life with 2 seems to be settling in for us. We still have lots of meltdowns and have a ways to go, but I can finally shout out lound that I love my baby without crying tears of mommy guilt over what I've done to Nickolas. It's a good feeling

I have mil here everyday to help with Nickolas and give me time to just take care of Alexander. She's our full time nanny for when I am at work, so she really has nothing else to do if she's not here. I'm truly am grateful for the help, but I am getting so tired of her being here with me every.single.day. She does take Nickolas to the park or zoo some days, but when she's here, she just stares at me doing every little thing when I'm handling both boys at once. I'm sick of being watched like a zoo animal. Plus, she talks nonstop! I have nothing to talk to that woman about all day long, but she seems to want to tell me about every little detail of everything going on in her life and i just dont care! I'm about ready to tell her to only come a couple days a week, but I'm scared that I'll live to regret it when I'm dying for a break and she's not around.

[ursusarctos]

Originally Posted by Beckily 

I love it when he gets all cuddly with my boob - he pets, hugs, face plants and licks until he falls asleep on it :D

When does that stop?

I was wondering the same thing. Every time DD sighs, spits out the nipple, and falls asleep on my boob it just melts my heart. I usually just lay there and stare at her then instead of getting up because I can't bear to take away her warm soft pillow.

I also feel thin despite the pouch. It's been that way ever since immediately postpartum. I guess it's just the feeling of all my guts being in their usual places and not squished into corners... No idea how much I weigh, though I suspect I've lost quite a bit.

Btw, thanks Chaika and Tear for your responses about ppaf... I didn't have any time to reply then and now we have a new thread :P Chaika, I am also suspecting now that it was not actually af - was just a few hours of bleeding that then completely stopped. Could be that weird hormonal thing at the end of the pp bleeding that google was talking about.

[Baby_Cakes]

Erica!!!  Gah, mine is a gym rat too!!  UGH!  He too gets up at 6 (not 430, gawd) and gets to shower, go the gym, LEAVE, talk to his buddies, work out, and come back around 9.  By that time both kids are up, are mostly likely screaming, have been fed, I'm probably spit up on, haven't used the bathroom yet, or if I did it was with two children all over my person, and I have already made coffee.  He goes right up to work! Bah, yeah that's what I call sleeping in.  In the evening, when he starts moaning his muscles are "so soar" from his deadlifts and crap, I'm "sympathetic" but i might throw in a casual, "you know, my neck is kind of stiff from sleeping on the recliner," or "I know what you mean about your back hurting, geez, my sciatica is really acting up lately from sleeping sitting up."  He usually gets the not-so-subtle hint and shuts his trap!  Ha!

Congrats on the weight loss!!  That's fantastic!  My loss is definitely slowing down.  I lost 22 lbs the first month.  Eh.  I still have 27 to lose but I haven't started working out yet.  I hope once I do I see more progress on that scale.  I really want to be "normal" by the holidays.

Nora was still using the boob pillow at 20 months.  

[Peony]

Ah, gym rats! I can jump on this train as well. My DH just joined CrossFit, yep. It's official, I'm going to kill him. I went off yesterday when he said he was going to do the stupid competitions or whatever it is that they do. Really? In what free time?!! His buddy that got him to sign up for it, has NO children, no wife, and spends all his non-working time doing crap like this and then travels around on the weekends for the competitions. DH wakes up around 7ish is out the door by 7:30am, gets in after 6, spends maybe an hour eating dinner and playing with kids before they go to bed and then he works from home the rest of the night while I run around frantically cleaning and doing all the household stuff. Every single night. He has no free time. And he says he can do it on the weekends. Weekends are jam packed with the kid's sports, soccer games, dance competitions, etc... in a couple months it will be snowboarding season, DD1 is on the team and he takes her every single Saturday they are gone from 7-7. WE HAVE NO FREE TIME and he does not get that. 

[SouthernStormy]

As much as he does, I shouldn't complain about my DH working out, but I am. He's not a gym rat per say, but he does attempt to work out to get ready for the army. It wouldn't drive me nearly as crazy if he had a set time he went and worked out then just went and did it. Instead, he'll announce at some point that he's going to go work out- usually its when the baby is sleeping, but then he'll spend another dam hour laying on the floor playing on his phone, then once he finally gets up to go work out, it'll take him 30 mins to get ready, then when he actually leaves its usually an hour and a half or two hours before he comes back, and the gym is in our apartment complex. From the time he talks about getting ready, I don't really don't do much b/c I know he's about to leave and I don't want to start cooking or something like that and end up with a screaming baby and burned dinner. I'm still not convinced he's working out the entire time. I think he uses that time as a "break" and does something like sit poolside and watch TV on his phone.

AFM,

Yesterday afternoon was HELL. Usually Magnolia is a pretty quiet, easy to please baby. Yesterday I was feeling stinky and didn't want to wait til DH got home to take a shower so I fed her, got her to sleep, and waited about 15 mins so she's be good and asleep before I got into the shower. 5 mins into the shower she was screaming- so I didn't get to finish my shower. Then every time I tried to get anything to eat, she would fuss. I ended up eating a pretzel rod and a handful of trail mix and that was all the entire day til DH got home. All afternoon on and off she would scream, it was very very exhausting. She would sleep a little, but not much. DH said that he would take care of her when he got home. I'd just fed her when he got home, he put her in the rock n play sleeper, rocked it a couple times and she was out like a light for the next 4 hrs. Is it bad that I kind of wanted her to scream for just a few mins when he got home just so he could see what I'd been dealing with all afternoon? He takes care of her a good bit, but it always seems that I'm the only one home when she is super screamy (which thank goodness isn't often)., so he just doesn't understand the extent of it.

[egmaranian]

Carrie: I so hear you on the annoying complaining about sore muscles. My DH has this passive aggressive way of dropping hints about which one of his body parts he overworked that day. He'll dramatically rub his elbow or shoulder. Or tell me how heavy he was able to go that day and then just groan. I want to slap him upside the head sometimes. Try pushing a 9 pound kid out your a-hole and then talk to me about how f'ing sore you are. 

Part of it is jealously though. I used to be a gym rat too and I REALLY miss being able to work out regularly. I haven't been able to go to the gym on any kind of normal schedule in three years and I'm so missing it. Plus, just the fact that he's still the master of his own time while I'm tied to the needs of a newborn and toddler 24/7 is very irritating. I wouldn't give up my kids for a chance to work out...but still. 

Peony: man, crossfit is hardcore. Good luck getting your DH to understand that time commitment. 

[Baby_Cakes]

Originally Posted by egmaranian 
Part of it is jealously though. I used to be a gym rat too and I REALLY miss being able to work out regularly. I haven't been able to go to the gym on any kind of normal schedule in three years and I'm so missing it. Plus, just the fact that he's still the master of his own time while I'm tied to the needs of a newborn and toddler 24/7 is very irritating. I wouldn't give up my kids for a chance to work out...but still. 

Peony - wow, crossfit?  That's a huge commitment.  I hope you gave him an earful.

[Peony]

Originally Posted by egmaranian 

 I want to slap him upside the head sometimes. Try pushing a 9 pound kid out your a-hole and then talk to me about how f'ing sore you are. 

Part of it is jealously though. I used to be a gym rat too and I REALLY miss being able to work out regularly. I haven't been able to go to the gym on any kind of normal schedule in three years and I'm so missing it. Plus, just the fact that he's still the master of his own time while I'm tied to the needs of a newborn and toddler 24/7 is very irritating. I wouldn't give up my kids for a chance to work out...but still. 

 

Totally!  I don't even wanting to hear his complaining. DD1's sure, she woke me up at 1am the other day because her abs were so sore, her conditioning classes for her various teams are pretty intense. My kid could run miles around me at this point, she is ripped. But not a word from him.  

I really, really, really miss being able to work out. It has been almost 9 years of piecing together 5 minutes here and there. My favorite daydream consists of when all 4 of my kids are K+ age and I can go to the gym every day. I'll probably be back in grad school then and not have any free time yet again but hey, I can dream!

[Italiamom]

DH hasn't worked out in years -- it's a major reason his back was so out of shape at age 30 that he slipped a disc doing simple yard work, and then spent the next 6 months unable to basically do anything. It still causes him daily pain. He used to ride his bike everywhere, and he had such beautiful arms and legs from riding 20+ miles every day. Now... not so much. At least I don't feel bad at all about my pouch I was bitching about my body the other day, and he commented about how he felt a little "shamed" by my prepregnancy body, but now it was great because we were "both squishy together!" :/ He was trying to be nice, but I think men sometimes let things escape their mouths before they think things through...

We had a huge blowup yesterday about time management. Basically he just lazed around all morning, kept tinkering with stuff into the afternoon. We didn't make it out of the house until 2:30. When he's at work, I have both kids up, fed, dressed, and out the door for coffee/walk/park by 10:30. He just still thinks we can have lazy days, and finally I had to say, look, no, that isn't our lives. We chose kids, and that means no more lazy ANY days for many years. Sorry He wants to just float through the weekend, but in reality, the weekends are the only time that I can get out of the neighborhood at all, or get any real chores done. Weekend are when we really need to HUSTLE! Not sleep in, not lounge, not tinker...

[ursusarctos]

Originally Posted by Italiamom 

He just still thinks we can have lazy days, and finally I had to say, look, no, that isn't our lives. We chose kids, and that means no more lazy ANY days for many years. Sorry He wants to just float through the weekend, but in reality, the weekends are the only time that I can get out of the neighborhood at all, or get any real chores done. Weekend are when we really need to HUSTLE! Not sleep in, not lounge, not tinker...

I hear you. Well, we definitely still have lazy days, but there are only so many days in a row that I feel comfortable sitting around while the house is a disaster, not going anywhere and scrounging up dinner at the last moment. DH, on the other hand, seems to be comfortable with an indefinite amount of those days... And can get cranky when I suggest we have a "functional" day. Or at least not make a huge effort to make it functional. Which is bad, because I tend to slack off myself if the other one is too. Voila, nothing gets done.

[PoetryLover]

Originally Posted by ursusarctos 

Which is bad, because I tend to slack off myself if the other one is too. Voila, nothing gets done.

I tend to slack when DH slacks.

Italiamom, I find one thing that helps DH when I have ideas for what I'd like to get done is to tell him at the beginning of the weekend/day that sometime over the course of the weekend/day I'd like him to do XYZ. That way he can kind of prepare his mind to do the work and work it in at his own pace. As long as the task/s are done by the end of the day/weekend, I'm happy and he doesn't feel that I've been riding him. It lessens the frustration for both of us.