Originally Posted by MarineWife
I just had baby #4 about 7 weeks ago. I am finding myself slower to respond to him than I was to my others. when i think back, i was slower to respond to baby #3 than baby #2. It's not that I leave him to cry or try to ignore him. But if I'm trying to get something to eat or finish a load of laundry, I'm more likely to finish what I'm doing even if it means he may fuss or cry a little more or a little longer. In my head I'm thinking, "Just let me finish this one thing."
I'm getting a little worried that this means I've become a bit desensitized to my children's needs. Or maybe it's just a consequence of having more than one young child.
I think it means you are a very capable mom. You know now- far better than you did with the first or even the second- that they will survive, and that sometimes meeting their needs happens along with meeting everyone elses'. You sound like you certainly do respond quickly- and that 30 seconds of finishing tossing that laundry in really isn't going to cause harm. We aren't talking about leaving the child for hours, a moment is not the same as many minutes. You are being the best mom you can to everyone, and you have learned better to balance it all to maintain your sanity.
I have three kids now, and #4 is due in Dec. It isn't instant response to everything, but when I hear the edge in a child's voice that means something really is wrong, that is instant. When it's frustration or something that really isn't scary or won't cause harm, finishing the laundry happens- even if I just started to move it from the washer to the dryer. :) The kids are all still alive, and they know that when they really need me, I will be there. They also know that they live in a family, and everyone has needs, and the oldest is great about noticing when one of the little kids wants something and I am - shifting laundry- or goodness forbid!- peeing ALL ALONE.
Experience doesn't desensitize you, but it sure does help you learn to juggle a little better.