Ditching the Binky at age 3

[apple o' my eye]

My daughter just turned 3 and LOVES her binky. I planned to let her give it up on her own, but I fear it is harming her teeth/palet and annunciation is not what it should be for her age.

We also have a bottle addiction. She has a bottle of milk before naps and bedtime.

I am looking for ways of helping her ditch these habits.

For the bottle I was thinking of taking her to the dreaded sippy cup isle and letting he pick any sippy cup she wants to trade for the bottle. Capitalizing on the "big girl" thing and that she is now a "big sister"

The binky is a bit more of a tricky one, it's as strong an addiction as cigarettes, I swear!

Any suggestions of good books to encourage and warm up to the ditching of the binky? Any things you did that worked?

Thanks!!

[ThreeTwoFive]

There's one called "Pacifiers are Not Forever" from the same series as "Teeth are not for biting" and "Tails are not for pulling."

[foreverinbluejeans]

I agree the bottle needs to go. How to get her to fall asleep without the bottle. You might try a very different routine and she may fall asleep and not miss the bottle. I put my grandson to sleep in very differnt ways than his parents do. There isn't just one way of putting a child to sleep.  If you ditch the bottles and keep the pacifier you could use the pacifier for sleep.

There are studies that show the pacifier is not harmful until her permanent teeth come in. I don't think there is evidence that pacifiers cause speech problems. It's normal for young 3 year olds to not be talking much or to not talk very well. If your daughter does have speech problems it could have nothing to do with the pacifier. One of my sons started speech therapy before he was 3 and stopped because he was sick of it when he was 12. He never had a bottle or pacifier.

I think the big girl or big sister path is a mistake. She may not want to be the big girl or big sister. It may make her resent you and the baby. There are two ways of getting her off the pacifier just like there are two ways of quitting smoking - weaning off or cold turkey. Weaning off involves power issues over an extended period of time. I think that is difficult between a parent and a 3 year old. If you have a strong willed child you don't want to be in a prolonged battle with them.  

I would go with cold turkey. I might do The Big Bribe. If there was something she is really wanting that I am going to get anyway I would take her shopping and let her pick it out. This might be a tricycle or a Little People Castle (I don't know what girls want). Tell her she is giving up her pacifer and she may have what she wants. My oldest was 3 and wouldn't potty train. We were in Target and he wanted a Big Wheel. I told him if I didn't have to buy diapers I would have money and we could get that Big Wheel. He never used another diaper and the next day we got the Big Wheel. He stayed potty trained because he knew I would take it back (mean mother that I am). I only do The Big Bribe for important things that children can do. I wouldn't try and get an 18 month old to potty train.

Good luck. 

[apple o' my eye]

Thanks for the responses. She doesn't fall asleep with the bottle, just drinks from it and then we are done and brush teeth and everything else for bed. I think we will try trading for a sippy cup on that one.

I have heard and read conflicting stuff on the binky. DDs doc thinks it messes up the palet and causes a need for braces, I've read elsewhere that it doesn't. Tough to know who is right??

I definitely think we'll go cold turkey. I'd rather have several days of boo hooing than a prolonged power struggle over weening.

I do want to find some books to start preparing for the idea of ditching the binky. My doctor said for her son they threw all the binkys out in the yard for the "birds to take away" before one of his naps. He said later he was mad at the birds for years, but at least he wasn't mad at her. Another person said to package them up for other children in need. (I don't know how I feel about either of these stories)

[eloise24]

We just said good-bye to paci a little over 2 months ago- DD was 3.5 at the time.  We talked a little about the fact that paci was going  to go away and that she was going to get a special doll to sleep with.  And then one day after nap, we took away paci and gave her the special doll she picked out.  

For three days it took her 2+ hours to go to sleep and then it slowly started getting better.  A week later she was sleeping more normally again.  

That worked for us- just cold-turkey, take it away and be done.  Honestly, those first couple of days were no fun but I think it's one of those situations where you just have to decide you're going to do it and be done.  

Baby brother still uses his paci for sleeping but that hasn't been as much of a problem as I thought.  We just kept it out of sight for the first week or so.  Good luck . . . any addiction is worse the longer you let it go and believe me, we had a true addict on our hands :)

Erika

[Chloe'sMama]

DD1 gave her's up just after her 3rd bday.  We had been talking about it for a while and saying her 3rd bday would  be when she needed to say good-bye.  (she had it pretty much as much as she wanted).  We went to build-a-bear and she put her favorite 2 binkys  in  the bear.  The other ones were left out for the binky fairy  and she got another special gift. 

She was still nursing at the time, so getting her to sleep was still fairly easy.  naps were a little a little tougher  because it would take a long time for her to fall asleep nursing only.

After a week or so, sleeping was back to normal.  We just weaned about a month ago and she no longer naps....

[apple o' my eye]

Good idea on the build a bear thing, though I'd be afraid she'd cut it open to get to the binkys! I do think we will need to set a concrete date, hummm. Great ideas, thanks Moms!

[sacridote]

DD gave hers up sometime around 3 yo. At about 2.5 we started telling her that there were not going to be new binkies, because the store wouldn't sell them to us because then there wouldn't be enough for the babies. Slowly they all got lost. Then one day we got on a plane to grandma's and didn't realize till we got there that we didn't bring a binky. She never even asked. That was it. We threw away all the binkies when we got home. Well, all except that one smushed one I found in the diaper bag last year (6 years after she quit the binky!!).

[McGucks]

This is a sneaky trick, but it worked for us.  Another mom told us to put a really little hole (with a sterilized needle) in the end of the paci.  It makes it "unsuckable" since there's no suction.  Don't know if this is the route you'd care to take, but it's just a thought to share.

[KoalaBear]

I talked about this on my blog (http://thekoalabearwriter.blogspot.com/2011/04/how-i-killed-soother.html) as I got rid of my daughter's soother when she turned 3.  Basically what worked for me was just cold-turkey telling her that she was too old for the soother.  Then I had to fight out a huge temper tantrum the first night, but after that it was no problem.  However, she only used the soother for bedtime, so it was a one-time issue, because that was when she wanted it.  My sister-in-law tried the hole in the end of the soother trick on her daughter (also 3) and it didn't work; her daughter just gave it back to her and said "fix it" and kept using it.  I've heard other moms say it didn't work, so I'd just be honest with your child.  Or try taking it away in stages; there were times when my daughter used her soother more often, but we tried to keep it to naptimes and bedtimes so that she only had it in her room.  Then I took the final step of taking it away completely.