Hahaha, let me clarify a few things:
DD is allowed to dress herself...she wears a lot of "boys clothes" because I like to be able to recycle her things with her DS, who is 16 months younger. So, he ends up wearing a lot of things that some people might "double take" and she wears a lot of things that look like, by "societies" standards, may have been made for a boy. They both wear pretty colors and good quality stuff that is comfortable and easy to wash, etc, so I don't really care what someone else thinks.
Lately, DD has been dressing herself more and more..she loves picking outfits and wears a lot of "boyish" gear because we live in the middle of the woods and the two of them are outside all. day. long and dresses aren't exactly practical for a lot of what she does...but she's also a NUT about dancing and LOVES her little twirly, brightly colored skirts.
Some of the skirts have built in shorts...but some don't, because I'm not going to say "no, you can't wear that" because it has no shorts underneath it and while I may SUGGEST leggings or something like that, well, if she doesn't want to, I'm not going to tell her she has to just so her underwear don't show if she twirls.
Hildare: I would respectfully disagree with you. People all around me tell their little girls "cross your legs, cross em" - all the time. It's not because they don't want people to see their little girls underwear...it's because under the underwear, there is a vagina lurking. I see people telling their little girls to close their legs even when they are wearing pants....in our society, it is considered rude and inappropriate for a woman to sit with her legs splayed. Sitting up straight, with your knees closed and her hands placed in her lap...this is how a young lady or woman is "supposed" to sit. I've never once in my life heard anyone tell a little boy to close his legs. Our society sees something inherently "yucky" or "indecent" in female sex/sex organ/etc and it's been that way for a long time.
My whole reason for asking, is because I don't know where my own deeply engrained "vagina issues" end and my desire to see my DD behave in a way that makes her "acceptable" begins...and how much right I have to impose that on her to begin with.
I love my female body...I love the parts of me that are naturally hairy and the parts which are naturally smooth and hairless...I am a sexual being and that doesn't make me a sl*t. I don't feel that the way I sit should be a clue to someone about my sexual identity or whether or not I'm a "fast ticket" - but in society, it does.
I don't know. There is a part of me that melts inside with pride and love when I see my girl sitting nicely somewhere, looking like a "proper" young lady...and all of that....and there is a part of me that feels something odd and "weird" when I see her carefree, legs splayed, wild and free. But when I get that weird feeling and question it...it goes away and is replaced by joy and thankfulness at the thought that my DD can sit, stand play, whatever...in a way that feel natural and comfortable to her.