I've been having a hard time with my 9 year old dd and the way she dresses. I wasn't sure where to post since I'm fairly sure that this ties in to her being recently adopted by us, and her prior trauma. I wanted to get input from people who have experience with that. Basically, no matter how many ways I've tried to explain to her about what's appropriate and what's not, she tends to try to walk out of the house looking way too "sexy" for a 9 year old. Short shorts and high-heeled leather boots. A tunic without tights ("I thought it was a dress"). Hot pink little girl bra under a white t-shirt. These are all things that happen even after I've had repeated conversations with her about why that particular way of dressing is not ok. Repeatedly with the same boots and shorts, the same tunic, the same white tshirt. She doesn't own anything that is intended in an over-sexualized way. There is nothing inherently inappropriate about any of her articles of clothing. It's just how she pairs them.
A few related notes: she did experience sexual abuse when she was five. Before she joined our family (at age 6) she definitely did own lots of clothes that I felt were too sexy. She's been working hard to differentiate herself from us, saying things like "I'm different, that's why I can't chew with my mouth closed, It's easy for you but for me it's just hard, because I'm different than you."
Does anyone have insight or experience? I can't tell how much of this is typical and how much is related to the other stuff. Thanks.