Found my freezer stash ruined

[annaconda]

I am so upset. I just found my 60 oz freezer stash on the floor, next to the chest freezer. It got set aside and never returned. Oh mamas I am in tears. I battled my way up from supplementing a great deal to EBF with low supply and latch problems and am always skirting the edge of having enough milk.

To top it off dh is away for a week now. My mil just called, mortified... she did it.

I need to look forward and know that I pumped so much out of abject feat that I wouldn't have enough milk... I haven't touched the stash for weeks... I have a fine supply and need to stop being fearful. But I am heartbroken. I can't put it down the drain. She is going to dispose of it when she comes back over.

[foreverinbluejeans]

If you have a good supply now you don't need that stored milk. It's better that you don't have it. By not having it you have more confidence in your breasts and your baby and you can work anything out. You say breastfeeding is fine now.  I don't think a breastfeeding mom needs to have bottles, pumps, or stored milk in her home.

If your milk supply isn't enough for a day or two for some reason the baby will nurse more to make more milk. This is normal. The baby won't starve that day or two that there wasn't as much as he wanted. This may happen during a growth spurt or if you or the baby are ill.

You have the superpower of making milk! You don't need that milk in the freezer. You can make more milk. Let it go. Don't cry over lost milk.

[AnkaJones]

Oh honey.

It's so heartbreaking to lose milk when you had to fight for every half ounce!  DH once destroyed about 6 oz and I nearly cried, I can't imagine losing my entire stash.  I couldn't bring myself to throw it away either... it took me about a week before I finally did it.  Lots of positive vibes headed your way.

Best,

Anka

[Heba]

Oh no!  I can imagine your despondency.  Seriously.

Maybe you can look at it as part of the process that you went through to get your supply up - with the milk itself not being the end product, rather your current sufficient supply being the end product.  And you *still* have that.  You are one amazing mama.

*Hugs* across the miles for you, mama.

xx

[neonalee]

Oh mama! I know how you feel. We put the last of my stash in a cooler destined for a mama that couldn't produce enough (we were moving cross country). We left for the town I was staying in briefly & where she lived which was 2 hours away & realized when we were almost there that we left the cooler in our old house. It took me months to get over it.

But! You have done great! You DO NOT NEED this stash! Take pride & comfort in the work you have done to get to this point. If you feel the need to have a stash by all means work to get it back, but you will be just fine!

sent from my phone using tapatalk, please excuse typos.

[annaconda]

Thank you so much everyone.

I am actually handling this with some semblance of *grace*???

My mother in law has been with me through my whole crazy last few months - bells palsy on my due date, emergency csection, then weeks of screaming at the breast and tube feeding and low supply (and pumping), so she knows how hard I worked to create that milk.  She was so downbeaten about it that I didn't have the heart to be mad at all.  She knew and felt bad enough.

foreverinbluejeans -

I totally appreciate your strong words.  I do like having confidence in my body and our bf relationship.  It is established.  I will always have a pump and bottles in my home because I work pt (and am a better mom for it).  But you are right.  Letting it go has been the right choice to make and I feel way good about it.

AnkaJones - 

That is exactly it.   Fighting for every half ounce.  Liquid Gold.  My LC got a card in the mail from a client:

Cover: There's no use crying over spilt milk

Inside: Unless you stayed up to pump it at 3am.

Heba - 

It is very cool to have my supply and that is absolutely the best reward.  The babe was asleep when I found it and *luckily* took a long nap during which I was able to grieve a little and *luckily* wanted to nurse, nap and snuggle for about 2 hrs after that.  What a kid.  He sort of synced up to exactly what I needed at a trying time.

neonalee - 

I am definitely grieving over it.  It felt like a hole in my heart, and my gut when I found it.

Thanks mamas for the support.

[PatioGardener]

Coming late to this thread to lend my support and dismay at your thawed stash. It sounds like you are coping with more than just a semblance of grace - I hope to be as gracious as you during my times of trouble!

I'm so glad to hear that your breastfeeding relationship is going well now.