weekly rambling chat Sept 18--24 - Page 6 « Back to Group Discussions

[KM84]

Aw Janellody, I know how you feel. When I'm lying on my side feeling like I'm about to barf I just keep thinking "I did this intentionally?!?!"

Have you looked into hypnobabies? I've heard really good things about that, and am considering trying it myself (although honestly knowing me I'm gonna go for the epidural). 

Did you ever get around to watching The Business of Being Born? Honestly the births shown there were so much less terrifying than what you see on TV. They certainly didn't look painless, but it also didn't look scary.

[janellody]

KM84 - Actually it was after watching those 2 movies that I decided to go drug-free!  So, yes I did follow everyone's advice and watched them and it really did help me have an open mind about everything and pushed me to go drug-free.  I am such a wussy about pain, though so I know it will be really hard.  But I am letting everyone know what my intentions are so hopefully when the time comes I will be able to get through it and they will be able to help me do it drug-free even though I will be dying!!  I will definitely be taking birthing classes and will probably look into something like hypnobabies, although honestly I don't even know what that IS yet.  I am such a newbie to this all.. do you know that I have never changed a baby's diaper?  My mom was shocked when she heard that but I have never had babies in my life/family.  I am seriously lacking mother skills right now but I know it will come. 

I know I need help but I also know that I don't do anything half-assed and I will attain all the skills I need before having my baby so I can be the best mother!

[MeredithA]

Maybe don't go into it with the mindset that it is going to be an awful delivery :-) I did no drugs with DS2, and I won't say it wasn't painful, but it wasn't awful. I've heard of people doing the hypnobabies thing and saying that they have completely painless births -- one of my friends swears she had a totally pain-free birth without drugs with her son using hypnobirthing so Im going to give it a shot this time. Your body was designed to do this -- you can do it! 

Originally Posted by janellody 

So, I have been doing a lot of thinking and trying to really prepare myself for 9 months of this and also the awful delivery....since I have decided against any meds. 

[katroshka]

Janellody- I was 19 when I had my first baby, had never changed a diaper, and had only held babies a handful of times my whole life. I would have these dreams while I was pregnant that we got the baby home and were like "Now what?" and wouldn't know what to do. Nevertheless, parenting felt like the most natural thing in the world, you just follow the baby! And by the time she was a couple weeks old I felt like a pro. Just be relaxed and let the love guide you (and not what everyone is telling you!), everything will be fine.

[Kamiro]

I absolutely hate being pregnant. LOL

This time though, it isn't bad and I am actually kind of enjoying it cause I am thinking this will probably be the last time. It helps that I am not puking my brains out.

I'm not hungry (except for junk. Nothing sounds good and then "Oh look! Chex Mix!" nomnomnom) and then I am good for the day. I have been eating a lot of grapes. Those are good.

The last couple of days I've been thinking about the 'ring of fire'. You know that moment when the baby's head makes its entrance and that feeling as you stretch and gasp? LOL Yeah, for some reason I can 'feel' it, or remember the feeling vividly.

Weird, went through 3 births and never really gave it a second thought. Right now it is all I can concentrate on. Better than other things I suppose!

Will do responses later today. We are relaxing at home, enjoying the Sabbath, so going to get back to our family activities! Have a wonderful day, ladies!

[babycatcher12]

Originally Posted by MeredithA 

Maybe don't go into it with the mindset that it is going to be an awful delivery :-) I did no drugs with DS2, and I won't say it wasn't painful, but it wasn't awful. I've heard of people doing the hypnobabies thing and saying that they have completely painless births -- one of my friends swears she had a totally pain-free birth without drugs with her son using hypnobirthing so Im going to give it a shot this time. Your body was designed to do this -- you can do it! 

Ditto. 

I did hypnobabies for my homebirth with my last baby and it was totally awesome! I was uncomfortable, but not screaming out of control in pain. I don't remember it being that painful at all, it just went really fast for me.  In fact, I just watched what little video we have of the birth and when I'm going through transition I was incredibly calm and quiet. I was amazed. In my mind I remember feeling like things were going really fast but I was calm the whole time, in fact, I looked up at DH at one point and said "I'm hysterical...I can't be hysterical" and he had no idea what I was talking about. It was a great experience. I'm actually kind of looking forward to the birth this time. It was such a powerful experience for me, especially after having 3 c/s, that I'm excited to do it again. :)

[callieollie]

Janellody, I hope you feel better soon. For me, the first trimester is the worst by far. The second trimester for me is awesome - I have energy back, nausea is gone, and I'm just looking all cute and pregnant!  Third trimester is a little more uncomfortable since you're getting bigger but still nothing compared to how hard the first trimester is.  I actually feel the worst this time than all of my pregnancies so I am hoping that's a good sign and just really hoping I get to the second trimester and can enjoy that!

I second (or third) hypnobabies.  I did Bradley with my first but because he was posterior and it was a crazy long labor (28 hours with 3 1/2 hours of pushing), it just wasn't enough to help me cope. The pain was horrible.  I ended up transferring from the birth center to the hospital for an epidural so I could sleep and have the energy to push.  After that experience, I knew I didnt' want meds again (cause even though it was painful, the hospital and epidural, pitocin, IV, monitoring, etc. were even worse) but I had to find something else. I looked into hypnobabies/hypobirthing.  I read a lot of people preferred hypnobabies over hypnobirthing so I did that. I LOVED it. I stayed relaxed and comfortable during the pregnancy and my birth was almost 100% pain free.  I had one difficult contraction when we went over a bump on the road to the hospital and I had about 5 seconds of burning when she was crowning but everything else was pain free. I didn't even think I was in labor, I was so comfortable. I woke up at 1:30 in the morning, it felt like braxton hicks, so I got something to drink and went back to bed. I woke up again at 2:00 and went down adn finished some laundry (lol), and sat on the exercise ball and timed my contractions. They were 2-3 minutes apart, which threw me since I knew that usually meant you were pretty close to delivering but I was completely relaxed.  I finally decided to wake dh up at 3:00 and he forced me to call the midwife and doula (I didn't want to wake them since I figured I'd have a long way to go given my last labor). They told me to come in so we drove in, got there at 4:30. I was 6 cm.  I was laughing and joking and drinking fruit juice from a cup with an umbrella in it!  My dd was born 30 minutes later.  From wake up to baby out, it was only 3 1/2 hours, with 4 minutes of pushing.  You can do it!

[pregnova]

Yeah to the Bradley Method. It's excellent at educating both yourself AND the person who will be helping you through labor. So, when I wanted drugs, DP knew what I wanted, knew where I was at in the labor, and KNEW how to help me say no and continue on to a natural birth. Not to mention, they're a long class...like over the course of several weeks, so you get to meet and know other couples birthing around the same time as you, and feel really involved in the pregnancy from a really early point. It's great! 

1More- i COMPLETELY know what you're talking about with the ring of fire. Sheesh! It's on my mind every time I think of the birth ahead. My previous birth was pretty LONG, intense, and very ummm...uncomfortable?..lol...but for some reason, I'm focusing on the ring of fire discomfort when I picture doing it a second time. *sigh* Don't know what that's about. 

I can't believe how radically different this pregnancy is from my last. I'm 6 weeks today, and feel great again. It seems as though my only consistent symptom is tiredness, but hey, I'll take that over consistent nausea any day ;-)

[Just1More]

Eh, birth.

I'm not saying that it isn't hard, or potentially painful, or a crazy new experience.  And I'm not downplaying the experience of some when things spiralled out of control.  And, I'm also not saying that you shouldn't keep flexibility in the back of your mind (transfer/c-section/pain management/etc), or to feel a failure if you do any of those things.  The thing about birth is learning to trust your body, and to roll with it...NOT to fit some book's ideal of how it should be. 

But...it's not that big of a deal.  You can do anything for a day or so, and a lot of it is about perspective.  I think that's a lot of what hypobabies/birthing is about.  It's practicing controlling yourself when you want to flip out, and convincing yourself of the truths of the whole thing.  And creating the correct perspective to handle it.  You can SO do this.

My first was in a hosptial, posterior, and I was flat on my back, no food or water, and with little support.  That was tough, but not dreadful...though it could have been.  I wasn't progressing for a while.  Wanna know why?  Because I didn't know that it might not feel like I needed to go to the bathroom...and no one suggested to me to go.  Finally, instead of letting me get up, they did a catheter...and wham!  WAY less pain and LOTS of progress.  Ridiculous.

Second birth was in a hospital with a midwife, behind closed doors and way natural.  I was unsure of how it would go, and his birth was so crazy fast and intense...like a freight train, that it caught me completely off guard.  In the 4 contractions I had to practice, I learned to relax.  (The first, "okay...this is really labor" contraction was only 30 minutes before he was born.  I had a handful of really hard ones, and then about 4 pushes and he was here.  I shook and shook from the adreneline.  Whew.)

My third and fourth birth?  Wow.  At home, totally on my own schedule.  I was so relaxed, and it was like watching someone else give birth.  I was strangely outside of myself, and commenting on the process.  "Hmm, I'm doing x, y, and z.  This must be transition.  Huh."  And with my last, the midwife was laughing because I was saying things like, "Okay, here comes the head."  Totally relaxed.  They just shake their head at me.  *shrug*  And they hand me my baby, and I climb into bed.  Sigh...I love new babies!

My point is that the more confident I was in myself, and the more I was able to do my own thing in my own way, the less of a big deal it was.  And, I think that's the beauty of hypno-whatever, and Bradley, and etc...they teach you to understand the process, and how to deal with it. 

Totally...you can do this...and you can do it relaxed and easy the first time.  :)

[beaner&tiegs]

I totally agree with not going into labour thinking it will be horrible!  And also with the idea that we can do anything for a day - it's not going to last forever!  I find labour intense, for sure, and if I start to let myself freak out it can feel a little out of control, but as soon as I bring my focus back it's just what it is and I do what I need to do just to get through that one contraction.  And you know, that huge high after you've done it, you've birthed the baby and you DID it is so amazing.  I felt like I could do ANYTHING after I gave birth to my first child.  WOW.  I've never done hypno-babies per se, but a couple of tricks that work for me - focusing very much in the present, trying to stay in the present, just doing what I need to do to remain calm and focused and not allowing myself to get trapped into the 'oh my goodness, how am I going to do this for so many more hours' game.  Also, I really focus on trying to stay loose, and working WITH my body rather than fighting it.  The more I relax and open up and put more pressure on my cervix, and swing my hips to keep my bottom loose, the quicker I will open up and be able to push my baby out.  For me these two techniques really worked, with a lot of help from my partner rubbing my back and providing counter pressure when things got more intense.  I also chose a homebirth because I knew drugs would not be an option.  I think with every labour I reach a point where I could easily be convinced to just do drugs, but that usually means I've hit transition and I will quickly be pushing so it doesn't last long.  It's hard work, but FAR from awful.

Also, the first trimester does kind of suck.  Hopefully the second trimester is much better for you and you're able to truly enjoy the pregnancy you envisioned!!!!!  I love the second trimester, and then am usually sick of being pregnant by the 9th month!!!!!

[Kamiro]

Wow, is all I can say Callie. I really hope maybe it was an over anxious U/S tech? I don't know, but having 2 babies vb with those sizes especially - doesn't sound like a bic. uterus or any thing I've read about them. I've heard theories they can 'resolve' on their own. Been a bit skeptical about that, but never read that they can appear on their own. Weird. Think I'll go do some research. Definitely thinking of you and hoping this is good news and just some odd misunderstanding or, like I said previously - an over anxious u/s tech.

Update us when you know! <3

Originally Posted by callieollie 

Onemore, I know, I think it's all so weird too.  Yes, it was the u/s last week that the tech asked me about the septate uterus but then wouldn't tell me more.  I just now got the official report from the radiologist about it.  My two births were vaginal births, no problem.  My son was probably posterior but I had an anterior placenta which frequently can lead to posterior position.  My dd was positioned perfectly, labor was only 3 1/2 hours and she came out after 4 minutes of pushing. No position problems or anything. And they were both full term (38 weeks) and good sizes - my ds was 8lbs, 2oz and my dd was 7lbs. 8 oz.  So nothing that fits a malshaped uterus.  But I also wonder what was it that they saw on u/s that made them think that. I saw the pictures myself and couldn't tell anything but the one that they pointed out as showing the septate the best had a white line sort of down the center a little to the left.  So, I'm guessing that is what they are talking about and I'm not sure what that could be.  I hope my OB gets to look at it soon. It probably won't arrive until tomorrow which means he won't get it until Monday.  I hate weekends!  

[Kamiro]

1more: (Our screen names are so close lol)

Definitely laughed at your post. You're right, it is only 1 day.

I had all 3 at home, and I can honestly say with my middle child's birth I would have had no regrets about having her in a hosp. with an epidural - even in retrospect. They were less than a year a part and she was posterior and it was just really not a good experience. Not horrible, but not good either.

My other two children I remember it being very intense and begging my sister to "Help Me" a few times (with big puppy dog eyes lol) but really, when it was over it was over and I was estatic. They were all 9-10 pound babies and I made it through with no rips or tears or scars...It was just 1 day, and really if you  think about it like that - it does put it in perspective.

Of all the words used to describe birth, horrible doesn't even make my top 100.

Even when I reflect on my second child's birth.

[janellody]

So can someone link me to the info you are talking about with hypnobabies, etc?  I get lots of different results when I look it up.  Not sure which one you are referring to.

[Mama2Rio]

i really don't like pregnancy either, i think of the second one more of a gift to DD because i don't want her to be an only child. DH and i can't afford adoption or we would, maybe in a few years we will be able to, but this is my last pregnancy as long as everything goes well. i'm not really a "baby" person either, i love the toddler stage and 3 has it's ups and downs, but i really like being around kids with more independents than the baby stage permits.

i talked to my dad the other night, and he's asking when i'm going to have another, and haven't said a thing yet to my family because it's just too early still.

i've heard some good things about hypnobirthing. just wondering what other techniques you all plan on using during birth, what's worked what hasn't? i know everyone is different, so i'd be interested to see what people think.

[poppyseed2012]

9-10 pound babies...? no rips or tears or scars...?  You are my hero!
 

Originally Posted by Onemoreontheway 

...

They were all 9-10 pound babies and I made it through with no rips or tears or scars...It was just 1 day, and really if you  think about it like that - it does put it in perspective.

Of all the words used to describe birth, horrible doesn't even make my top 100.

Even when I reflect on my second child's birth.

[KM84]

omg omg I'm so nervous/excited about my OB appointment tomorrow - we can finally learn the cause of my amenorrhea! ;)

Hehe. My GP has to mark all her findings on my chart (with numeric codes and all) for my insurance, but I opted not to do an official test at her office since I'd already done an HPT. But since I didn't take the test there, she couldn't officially diagnose me as pregnant, so instead her referral to the OB is for amenorrhea (absence of menstruation). 

[babycatcher12]

Here is the link for the hypnobabies blog (lots of great hypnobabies stories here)... http://hypnobabies.wordpress.com/

Here's where I ordered my hypnobabies...http://www.hypnobabies.com/

I loved it!!!

[Astraia]

Originally Posted by Onemoreontheway 

1more: (Our screen names are so close lol)

Definitely laughed at your post. You're right, it is only 1 day.

I had all 3 at home, and I can honestly say with my middle child's birth I would have had no regrets about having her in a hosp. with an epidural - even in retrospect. They were less than a year a part and she was posterior and it was just really not a good experience. Not horrible, but not good either.

My other two children I remember it being very intense and begging my sister to "Help Me" a few times (with big puppy dog eyes lol) but really, when it was over it was over and I was estatic. They were all 9-10 pound babies and I made it through with no rips or tears or scars...It was just 1 day, and really if you  think about it like that - it does put it in perspective.

Of all the words used to describe birth, horrible doesn't even make my top 100.

Even when I reflect on my second child's birth.

I agree- the post by 1more made me laugh, too- it's true! you can put up with a heck of a lot for 1 day.

I had my two at home, my first with a midwife and the second unassisted- just me and my hubby. Both were posterior, both required minimum 2 hours of serious, concentrated pushing to get them out and monster expelling-type contractions that had me roaring.

But I never felt out of control, I never felt like I didn't want to have this baby, I didn't feel angry or scared or irritated (okay, I felt like it was totally unfair when I got double-peaking contractions!) I would definitely not say they were horrible. They sure weren't any fun (and I am not looking forward to labour for this one, ugh) but I know I can get through it. I look at labour the way I look at intensive aerobic exercise or like hauling patio stones for our back yard. I sure hate doing it, but I like the results. I wouldn't call it horrible by any stretch but I could think of 100 different ways I'd rather be spending my day!

Oh- and, by the end of pregnancy you'll likely be fat and uncomfortable and bruised (from someone thrashing on the inside and from bumping into things!) and be like, "seriously, WHY AM I NOT IN LABOUR YET!?!?!"

[Astraia]

Originally Posted by Mama2Rio 

i really don't like pregnancy either, i think of the second one more of a gift to DD because i don't want her to be an only child. DH and i can't afford adoption or we would, maybe in a few years we will be able to, but this is my last pregnancy as long as everything goes well. i'm not really a "baby" person either, i love the toddler stage and 3 has it's ups and downs, but i really like being around kids with more independents than the baby stage permits.

i talked to my dad the other night, and he's asking when i'm going to have another, and haven't said a thing yet to my family because it's just too early still.

i've heard some good things about hypnobirthing. just wondering what other techniques you all plan on using during birth, what's worked what hasn't? i know everyone is different, so i'd be interested to see what people think.

I love being pregnant- I never have severe symptoms in the beginning, and apart from some morning queasiness, meat aversions, and some horrific acne (ugh!) I'm doing just fine. I love the second trimester, and I've never had big problems like sciatica, nerve problems, pain walking, etc so even my third has so far been pretty straight-forward (of course, now that I've said it it will change, right?)

What worked for me: I didn't use any specific methods like lamaze or bradley or whatever. I spent a lot of time working on visualizations during pregnancy, but didn't use any of them in labour (it felt as stupid in labour as it did in pregnancy- sorry, my cervix is NOT a flower! Pretty sure it's a cervix :P)  What worked best was good support that didn't make noise or distract me and ideally didn't really even talk to me so I could stay in my zone. Lots of hydration (a sip of water after every contraction, ideally, once things get rolling). Vocalizations that were mine to make in any way I needed (except for high-pitched, screechy ones which made me feel panicked so having someone tell me to relax at that point was good). Someone to do whatever ritual I needed during a contraction, like having an arm to grip or a specific thing to look at. Once you get a ritual, having someone change it before you're ready can really suck. Oh, and concentrating on relaxing even during contractions. I focused a lot on keeping my hands and arms totally relaxed, because I could see if they were or not, and I found if I could keep that part of my body relaxed the rest would follow. Tensing up during contractions made them harder.

Originally Posted by babycatcher12 

Here is the link for the hypnobabies blog (lots of great hypnobabies stories here)... http://hypnobabies.wordpress.com/

Here's where I ordered my hypnobabies...http://www.hypnobabies.com/

I loved it!!!

There's also some yahoo group for hynpobabies, too, right? From what I recall it was pretty active, and good for posting progress reports or asking questions of getting inspiration from other people who've had successful hypnobabies births

[Astraia]

Bah, I forgot to post my news! Sorry for so many posts- but, I got a midwife! There are only 5 for this entire area, from what I understand, and last baby I waited on their list the whole 8+ months, and this time I got in right away! My first appointment is Oct. 13, I'll be almost 12 weeks then.

I'm pretty darn happy. I got the news from my DH while I was at work, and was so thrilled i blurted it out to everyone so now everyone knows way earlier than I intended :/ But that's okay, I'm still thrilled enough that I don't care.