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weekly rambling chat Sept 18--24 - Page 4

post #61 of 121

I think the reason they do the u/s so early here is that a) NYC is rife with malpractice lawyers, so the doctors want to get things checked out early, and b) people in this area tend to have kids much later in life. A bunch of my friends have just had their first kids, and they're all at least 30, most are over 35. Which is a perfectly fine time to have kids! I just know the national averages skew a bit younger.

post #62 of 121

Awww, another cute baby on an u/s!  Looking good mama! :)

 

I am officially 7 weeks today (well as official as it gets without a doctor confirming LOL) and today is my appointment.  I am hoping I get to hear the heartbeat but have no idea what to expect as this is baby #1!  I am super excited!  My hubby has to work through most appointment so my mom is going to be my appointment buddy for all of them, but I am sure my hubby will come to the 20 week ultrasound one!

 

It is 3am and this is becoming a normal routine, I get up, go pee, and have to eat something or I will be sick.  So here I am eating yogurt and waiting for my tummy to settle down so I can go back to sleep.  Thank goodness I don't have a "normal" job and have more of a flexible schedule!  Yesterday was my worst day and I laid on the couch ALL day because I felt sick.  Ugh.  I am not having much fun right now :(

post #63 of 121

jenellody - It is all small in comparison with the end result, I can assure you!  Good luck, and sorry DH can't be there.  Will probly see a little white teddy bear looking baby, and hopefully already a HB.  Let us know.

post #64 of 121

Janellody - I excited to hear how your appt. goes today!!!!  Hope you get to hear that heartbeat - keep us posted.

post #65 of 121
Quote:
Originally Posted by katroshka View Post

janellody: No, not much of a break here. They will be almost 15 months apart, which is the same gap between my older two. I love having them so close, they are best friends and do everything together, I feel like it's been really great for them, so I wanted my tiny one to have the same experience. Plus I am a student and really want to get finished up and working in a few years, so didn't want to have any more years of toddlers needing me home than I had to have. I actually was kind of hoping to have a couple more months between them, but didn't want them more than 18 months apart and figured I shouldn't give myself too few chances to get pregnant. As it turned out, I got pregnant the first month we tried, so here we are!
 

 

My first two are 15 months apart. They seem to love it but until the younger one started walking and playing a bit more, I did not. For the first 6 months I couldn't get through a day without all of us crying for awhile. Even now we have good days and bad days. Today is so far somewhere in the middle. I think if I could figure out this discipline thing it would be better but I'm at a loss as to how to deal with... um, most things. I'm making it up as I go.
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by maggiemay81 View Post

Had my first doctor's appointment yesterday. Prenatal testing is complete- blood and urine. When my results come in, my GP forwards the info to the ob/gyn. Where I live, you don't get an ultrasound until 20 weeks, unless something is wrong of course. What has everyone else's experience been like? I am 5weeks5 days, and likely won't see the obgyn till at least 12 weeks from what I understand from others in my area....


Pretty normal around here. When I had a midwife for my first, I didn't see her until 10 weeks for a "here's what a midwife does, are you sure you want one?" meeting, filling out paper work, medical history etc. I didn't get an actual appointment where they checked stuff like fundal height or whatever until... 11 weeks? 12? One ultrasound at 20 weeks unless you have no idea how far along you are or a valid medical reason.

 

I just got an email from my sister. She thinks she might be pregnant, but it's too soon to test.... I am SOOO excited, I hope she is! Unfortunately she lives on the other side of the country :( Ah well, it could be excitement for a whole lotta nothin' so I'm trying to keep calm.

 

Otherwise... eh, nothing new going on. Same old, I guess!

 

 

post #66 of 121
Quote:

I think if I could figure out this discipline thing it would be better but I'm at a loss as to how to deal with... um, most things. I'm making it up as I go.
 


Oof, I'm still trying to figure out how to get through the pregnancy part of this process, thank god they're tiny for a little bit before you actually have to think about parenting! 

 

When I was a kid, my punishment was to sit on the steps for 1-5 minutes depending on the severity of my crime. Any time I made a noise, particularly in complaint, the timer was reset. For some reason this was THE MOST TORTURE. To this day my mother still marvels that it worked at all.

 

post #67 of 121

Yeah, you know once ds was actually born, it was terrifying. Suddenly, I was a parent and expected to know how to RAISE this little tiny baby into adulthood. I wished that I had read more on PARENTING philosophy rather than concerning myself so much with the pregnancy and birth expectations/choices. DP and I have basically spent the past 2.5 years trying to figure out how we can raise our son in a way that agrees with our core values, and...it's TRICKY!! lol

 

We basically go for the unchool approach. No coercion, no restrictions, no expectations, and things go really well now. But, it's a recent transition from trying to figure out what we FELT about discipline, or what sort of child we wanted to walk away from this journey with. And, in a way, this second baby will be ridiculously easier...I will know that I don't want to start any sort of discipline, I will know that it works, I won't have all those doubts I've been having to work through with my son. In fact, I'm looking forward to seeing how this unschooling philosophy applies to even younger children than my son..it's exciting to wonder about!

post #68 of 121
I definitely remember some rough spots in my second daughter's first year of life, but things are a lot different now. My first two are 10 and 9, so they help a ton. I can't believe how much easier it has been having my last baby. Two extra pairs of hands to hold her, two playmates that are way more exciting than me, two helpers around the house that can clean, do laundry, cook... it's been a totally different experience. I'm feeling pretty good about having this gap between #3 and #4.

Luckily discipline just hasn't been much of an issue for us, my older girls are just naturally pretty easy to deal with. Then again, I am pretty laid back. Messes are fine as long as they get cleaned up, rough housing is fine so long as it's understood that someone might get hurt, school work is easy because they enjoy it most of the time. My priorities for discipline are respect, kindness, and compassion, and they don't have any real problems in those areas so things usually go pretty smoothly around here. I think our biggest issue is spaciness... my older daughter especially has been in LaLa Land lately, I think it might be puberty coming on. Outside doors get left open, lights left on, water left running, lunches left at home/ school, etc. It's driving me crazy, but really isn't that big of a deal.

I'm having the same crazy issues with insurance that I had last time around. I have to be on Medicaid because my student insurance stops as soon as I take time off, and the Medicaid HMO I have only wants me to go to this crazy clinic in my neighborhood, which is in the "ghetto", where they pretty much treat you like a knocked up, drug addicted, 14 year old prostitute. Totally awful going there. I went there for a few months during my last pregnancy while I waited and waited for them to get me an authorization to go to a different clinic where my friend is a midwife. It's weird, it's the same group of UCSD midwives, just at different locations, but I have all this hassle about which location I go to. Anyway, trying to be on top of it early so I can get to the good clinic ASAP. I have to go do intake at the crappy clinic today, basically an hour of grilling me about my personal life- fun!
post #69 of 121

~~~Warning, Downer post~~~~~

 

Hi Ladies,

I'm having a lot of anxiety about the birth already. Part of me just wants to escape to the hospital, but then I feel worse cause I don't want to be there either.

I am praying, and asking Him to lead me in this - to make it crystal clear...It is probably horomones but I think it comes down to that I have lost a lot of trust in midwives through the years, just as I have doctors. I've held and kissed a baby that didn't take any breaths and combined with me already being the anxious sort during pregnancy...35 minutes away from a hospital, and all the other what if's...

I'm scared.

I don't know. If you're the praying kind, please knock on His door for me....

post #70 of 121

hug2.gifAw I'm sorry onemoreontheway. I think ultimately you have to follow your gut. There are pros and cons to both hospitals and homebirth, and it's such a personal decision. Who are you working with now? The good news is, you've got some time to find the professional who's right for you, whether it's a CPM, CNM, or OB. 

 

I think for one reason or another women often try to "scare" each other into agreeing with us. Everyone has a horror story about a hospital / home / birth center birth gone wrong, someone who ate a piece of sushi and lost the baby, etc. I think it's more helpful to share the positive when discussing some of the nerve-wracking decisions.

 

A friend of mine said that childbirth is "totally something you can handle," and her husband said "everyone says its so gross, its really not a big deal." I've decided that I'll listen to them, and if anyone else has opinions they can keep them to themselves. :D

post #71 of 121
Quote:
Originally Posted by Onemoreontheway View Post

~~~Warning, Downer post~~~~~

 

Hi Ladies,

I'm having a lot of anxiety about the birth already. Part of me just wants to escape to the hospital, but then I feel worse cause I don't want to be there either.

I am praying, and asking Him to lead me in this - to make it crystal clear...It is probably horomones but I think it comes down to that I have lost a lot of trust in midwives through the years, just as I have doctors. I've held and kissed a baby that didn't take any breaths and combined with me already being the anxious sort during pregnancy...35 minutes away from a hospital, and all the other what if's...

I'm scared.

I don't know. If you're the praying kind, please knock on His door for me....


Is there a birth center option? Or a natural-birth friendly hospital? I know that one place we have lived over the years supposedly had these awesome water-birth friendly rooms in a wing of the maternity ward that everyone flocked to. What about working with a group of midwives associated with a hospital or OBGYN? 

 

I hope you are able to find the right option for you and relax into the birth!!!

 

post #72 of 121



I will pray tonight for you- for peace in your heart and that you feel His arms around you. Your post made me tear up. I have anxiety too and it hasn't even really kicked in yet. This will be my third c-section (this really upsets me) and I am terrified. I keep remembering this quote that I love (I don't remember the exact words)- If God brings you to it, he will bring you through it. I am trying to believe in that with my whole heart. You have held and kissed a baby that never got to take a breath- most of us will never have to experience that- I cannot imagine. A friend of mine went through that and went onto have two beautiful children but yes, there was a ton of anxiety. You are not alone and I am thinking about you and praying for you. I wish that I could help more.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Onemoreontheway View Post

~~~Warning, Downer post~~~~~

 

Hi Ladies,

I'm having a lot of anxiety about the birth already. Part of me just wants to escape to the hospital, but then I feel worse cause I don't want to be there either.

I am praying, and asking Him to lead me in this - to make it crystal clear...It is probably horomones but I think it comes down to that I have lost a lot of trust in midwives through the years, just as I have doctors. I've held and kissed a baby that didn't take any breaths and combined with me already being the anxious sort during pregnancy...35 minutes away from a hospital, and all the other what if's...

I'm scared.

I don't know. If you're the praying kind, please knock on His door for me....



 

post #73 of 121

I absolutely agree with your post- especially the part of everyone knowing of someone who has a horror story. You are totally right, we DO need to share the positive and find the professional that is right for you! Thank you for your post :)

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by KM84 View Post

hug2.gifAw I'm sorry onemoreontheway. I think ultimately you have to follow your gut. There are pros and cons to both hospitals and homebirth, and it's such a personal decision. Who are you working with now? The good news is, you've got some time to find the professional who's right for you, whether it's a CPM, CNM, or OB. 

 

I think for one reason or another women often try to "scare" each other into agreeing with us. Everyone has a horror story about a hospital / home / birth center birth gone wrong, someone who ate a piece of sushi and lost the baby, etc. I think it's more helpful to share the positive when discussing some of the nerve-wracking decisions.

 

A friend of mine said that childbirth is "totally something you can handle," and her husband said "everyone says its so gross, its really not a big deal." I've decided that I'll listen to them, and if anyone else has opinions they can keep them to themselves. :D



 

post #74 of 121

Thanks ladies. Truly. Thank you for the praying also.

I assumed I had just dealt with all this stuff/emotions/fears and it was over with. The last couple days it has just been rearing its head.

 What God brings us to, He'll bring us through...If that isn't the truth, I don't know what is. I'll keep telling myself that also. Thank you for it.

post #75 of 121

Onemore, I won't claim to understand what you've gone through, but I can empathize with feeling torn about how to handle the birth. Hopefully you will find the method that puts your mind at ease and allows you to enjoy it without being judged. We're here for you. grouphug.gif

 

 

Corgi - welcome mama! so glad to see you here.

 

And big thanks to all of you talking about the aversions to eating at home. I was having some major guilt about feeling that way. We have a really bad habit of going out most nights. So unhealthy and so expensive. Janellody, I too felt like I was going to eat healthy all pregnancy. At first it worked and seemed to keep me feeling good. Now everything seems vaguely gross, but I'm hungry all the time. As a first year teacher I am working insane hours and coming home wiped out. The last thing I want to do is cook, especially if I'm rolling in close to 7 pm and going to bed at 9. I am counting the moments until the second trimester! All I want is salty, hot carbs and melted cheese. Also, I would kill for a rare steak and a beer!

post #76 of 121

I got the u/s results from last week's u/s.  It was too early to see much so I have another scheduled for next week.  But the report did say:  "There appears to be 2 separate

endometrial canals extending towards the uterine fundus."  And the conclusion was "Possible septate uterus."  Gee, thanks for being so definitive!  "Appears to be" and "Possible" aren't real reassuring.  I've had 2 children, no problems, both full-term good sized babies. Wouldn't someone have noticed that my uterus was divided in half?  Ugh.  I sent the cd of the u/s pictures to my OB who thinks he'll be able to determine if I do in fact have a septate uterus.  Can't this just work?  Can't this baby just stick and be healthy and end up with me holding a screaming baby at the end?  

post #77 of 121

Onemore-I will be praying, too.  "All things work together for good for those that love the Lord."  I am happy that so many of you are openly Christian here.  It is one of the reasons that I decided to make time to join the ddc.  :)

 

Jen-totally pick the same birthday.  SO fun.  They are going to be close anyway...I might even try for the same time of day.

 

Callie-maybe what they are seeing are two sacs. :)  Maybe you'll wind up with 2 screaming babies. 

 

As for me...my dh was working on a friend's farm and came back covered in chiggers.  He took a shower and checked himself over really well, but that didn't keep them out of our bed.  So, now, I am covered in chiggers.  Ugh.  But, he did make up for my lousy (non-chigger related) sleep lately.  He came home early from work and watched the kids and cooked supper while I took a 3.5 hour nap. 

 

 

post #78 of 121

I just wanted to make it clear to you ladies that it was not my baby that died, but a very wonderful, close, friends.
It was just traumatic for every one involved at the birth, as any situation like that would be. Every one there lost a piece in their heart that day, I think.

I didn't want to give a false impression that it was mine, but I am also trying to not be too open (ie: trying to be vague) about some one's very private, personal experience. I hope you all understand what I mean.

I think when the midwife I chose gets back from vacation, I will talk to her more candidly about the anxiety...

If it is even still a problem...Here's hoping!

Much love...

 

post #79 of 121

Ugh, ugh, ugh.

Callie, what in the world is going on there? I'm so sorry for you.

Didn't they suspect you had a bicornorate uterus last week?

May I ask if your last 2 were VB or CB?

This all seems so odd.
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by callieollie View Post

I got the u/s results from last week's u/s.  It was too early to see much so I have another scheduled for next week.  But the report did say:  "There appears to be 2 separate

endometrial canals extending towards the uterine fundus."  And the conclusion was "Possible septate uterus."  Gee, thanks for being so definitive!  "Appears to be" and "Possible" aren't real reassuring.  I've had 2 children, no problems, both full-term good sized babies. Wouldn't someone have noticed that my uterus was divided in half?  Ugh.  I sent the cd of the u/s pictures to my OB who thinks he'll be able to determine if I do in fact have a septate uterus.  Can't this just work?  Can't this baby just stick and be healthy and end up with me holding a screaming baby at the end?  



 

post #80 of 121


Thank you very much Just1more. It is nice to meet others who are along the same path as we all go down this path ;)

I don't know what chiggers are, but a quick google search says 'eek'. They look like scary little guys. I hope the itching subsides soon and you all are feeling better by this weekend!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Just1More View Post

Onemore-I will be praying, too.  "All things work together for good for those that love the Lord."  I am happy that so many of you are openly Christian here.  It is one of the reasons that I decided to make time to join the ddc.  :)

 

Jen-totally pick the same birthday.  SO fun.  They are going to be close anyway...I might even try for the same time of day.

 

Callie-maybe what they are seeing are two sacs. :)  Maybe you'll wind up with 2 screaming babies. 

 

As for me...my dh was working on a friend's farm and came back covered in chiggers.  He took a shower and checked himself over really well, but that didn't keep them out of our bed.  So, now, I am covered in chiggers.  Ugh.  But, he did make up for my lousy (non-chigger related) sleep lately.  He came home early from work and watched the kids and cooked supper while I took a 3.5 hour nap. 

 

 



 

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