How do you deal with insensitive medical professionals?

[AbbieB]

Last week, the kids were with me when I went to see my GP for some routine blood work and to start the ball rolling with prenatal blood work. DS has down syndrome.

During my conversation about the value of different prenatal testing he could help with, he made a reference to "unfortunate outcomes" and indicated my son.

Since I was caught up in thinking about my new babe an weighing my options the comment sort of went right past me at the time.

Now, it's all I can think about. (It's not keeping up at night or anything, I just wish I had done something and stood up for my son.)

How do you handle insensitive comments from medical people? Do you say something? Do you let it go?

[APToddlerMama]

Hugs.... It is amazing how rude and insensitive people can be.  I was actually going to post a similar thread a couple weeks ago.  DS has some special needs and my perinatologist made a comment about how worried I must be that this baby is going to have special needs as well.  I was so stunned.  I told her I was not worried at all, DS was a fantastic child and I'd be happy to have another one just like him, and felt that DH and I were more than capable of meeting his needs.  That all just flew out of my mouth.  When I got home, I started thinking about it and the truth is that DH and I sometimes feel stretched pretty thin, and there have been plenty of tears shed around here worrying about the uncertainty of DS's future.  I have commented to DH as well that I really hoped this baby would be "easier"....as in less therapy, less worries, less tears, less appointments, etc.  I guess I really have mixed emotions about it, but I was so surprised by the question I didn't have time to think.  If I was asked again though, I would probably say the same thing because despite the mixed emotions, I more often feel like DS is a huge joy and blessing and I know he was meant to be in our family.  Regardless of whether or not this baby has special needs, I will know he was meant to be in our family as well. 

[askew]

One of my friends has a daughter with Ds and she is also a hair stylist. She had a pregnant lady come in, and the lady was super freaked out about the results of her quad screen, and kept saying over and over again how worried she was that the baby had Ds and how she was going in for an amnio to be sure. Basically implied she would terminate. My friend finally told the woman that her daughter has Ds and the lady said I am so sorry. My fried answered, what for? My daughter is amazing, and exactly the person she was meant to me. I always hope to have a great answer like that when the time comes for us. My dd doesn't overtly look sn, so far we have had little in the way of judgement or comments. However as she gets older her delays will become more apparent. I usually get flustered and silent, and then it eats me alive for weeks with all the great things I should have said. 

[EarthRootsStarSoul]

There are idiots EVERYWHERE!!!  Several weeks ago, there were a whole bunch of neighborhood kids playing in my front yard.  One of my neighbors, a man, came over and said basically that I shouldn't let a certain child play at my house because he has autism and his mom probably did drugs while she was pregnant.  I was completely blindsided!!!  I said something like, "Well, I'm cool with him playing here."  and that was it.  But the more I thought about it later on, the more enraged I became, and totally disappointed in myself for not taking more of a stand.  The next person to say something stupid about autism is totally going to get it from me. 

I was recently (just a few weeks before this happened) semi-formally diagnosed with PDD-NOS, and the counselor who 'diagnosed' me advised me at the time to not talk about it or tell anyone because people don't understand and will just think I'm retarded.  I want to take good advice and trust a professional, but what she did (intentionally or not) was totally strip me of my ability to advocate for myself and 'my people'.  I'm never talking to her again. 

[Emmeline II]

A phrase comes to mind from Jane Austen's novels; when a character who should know better says something out of place, the response is "You forget yourself" .

[Mittsy]

I would call him on it, especially since it was said right in front of the child!! I would also say something to his manager, that man needs a serious lesson in work ethics and tact!!