It seems to me that the VBAC forum could be renamed as Birthing After a C-Section, or just BAC. I think it is awesome that there is a dedicated space for women who have had a c-section have a place to talk about the many advantages of trying for a VBAC, and just some of the other issues that may come up when deciding if that is truly the best route for one's own situation. But that's just it, isn't it? It leaves out that having a VBAC isn't the best option for all. I expect that most of those would be because of medical reasons, but some of those would be for mental reasons as well.
Even though I do not post often, I am not a new person here. When my son was born in 2002 via C-section, all the information I'd gleaned here before I gave birth and afterward as well told me that I was a Failure as a woman. No matter that I had done everything else up until that point right. I was a failure, and like others I could certainly process my failure here, just as long as I always acknowledged that I was a failure. These feelings probably helped my PPD spiral downwards, and at the time there wasn't a PPD forum here at MDC. I honestly concluded at the time that since there wasn't one, that PPD didn't exist in the NPF world. Welcome to the unreality of PPD!
I can honestly say now that I am over my feelings of failure, and in fact I don't believe I was one. It took getting off of MDC to get to that point, though. And were I to be pregnant again I would be faced with the VBAC vs RCS question. Before I'd gotten over my belief of failure, I would have gone for the RCS again, no question. Why? Well, I already knew I was a failure, so why go through the agony I'd gone through before just to have my failure reinforced by the very good chance that I'd have to do a c-section in the end anyway. Given that there are members who still actively grieve and define themselves by their tainted c-section status for years after they've had them, I'd say I am not the only one who has gone through this. Sure would be nice if there were a space to discuss both options rationally without all the shaming that goes to those who choose the RCS reason, no matter the reason.