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Will anyone ever want to date a single mom of four kids????

post #1 of 21
Thread Starter 

I've been a single mom for 3 months now. I am not willing to date yet, I don't feel ready. I feel too much anger right now. Though, occasionally, I do get to thinking..... who the heck is ever going to want to date a 30 year old with four kids??? Please tell me about yourself, or anyone you know, who found love again when they had four (or more!) kids.....

 

I know plenty of people who found love again, being single with children....but never four or more.... maybe thats ust b/c I dont know that many people with four or more kids.

 

Thanks. Need to not feel so depressed and hopeless and know that I wont be single forever

post #2 of 21

I have four and I'm 5 years older than you are.  I've had no problem finding dates.  Right now there is a 26 year old who is extremely interested, patient, understanding and a great conversationalist.  He is a smart man who will graduate from law school in the spring.  Sadly, I just don't feel a strong connection with him.  There are others though.  Don't fret!  It will happen when you are ready.

post #3 of 21

No experience dating yet...well, okay, technically one date with an ongoing friend who already loves my kids...but I'm right here with you, four kids and all.  I have faith that if/when the time is right, it will happen.  Hang in there - this situation is very new for you, and it takes time (I'm 9 months from the decision and 2 months since XH fully moved out.)

post #4 of 21

My BIL is dating a single mom w/ three kids. *shrug*

post #5 of 21

I SOOO want to date! I was completely a-sexual for the 16 months I've been separated, like I basked in the fact that I wasn't 'out there' and felt like an observer to all of the romance and drama going on around me. And then I made the acquaintance of a guy that I find totally interesting and it awakened me to the idea of wanting to date! And now, like you, I would LOVE to be asked out, flirt, CONVERSE...

Although...I wonder, how will it ever come about? I work from home, am extremely shy, socially inadept, I live out in the country, I am 37 with 2 children....many people have mentioned on-line match-making sites and I am warming to the idea, although it seems a bit un-natural.

I think many men will DATE women with children, but I have no idea if it would go any further. I think it may be a good idea to break the ice with the whole idea of dating and keep it casual,not look for a soul mate right away though, if possible.

 

post #6 of 21

A good friend of mine dated and married a single mom with five kids.  They are very happy together and have a good life.  It *is* possible.  :0)

 

post #7 of 21

Family friends of mine (small town living) both divorced and remarried in their late 40s... she had 4 kids, he had 2, all of them were out of the house by the time of parents' divorces tho. 

 

Also, i would say if he has his own kids, he'd maybe be more ok with being seriously about a woman with kids because the transition wouldn't be bachelor to dad of many... then again, who knows who you will find!!

post #8 of 21

Are you me? Seriously...I have the same thoughts all the time. I will be 30 next feb...and I have four kids. One lives with her dad (my first ex) and my three boys are with me. I am in nursing school, too...not as far as you are, I am getting my associates this december. I have wondered a lot...who will want to date me? I have four kids, I am VERY shy, horrible in social situations. I am a VERY geeky person who is not into the things that a lot of "normal" people are into...i.e. I love anime (obviously), cartoons (Futurama, Thundercats...etc yay), comics, science, history, etc....I am overweight (trying to work on that), have no money for nice clothes so I have to dress like a bum pretty much, and my face is covered in acne. Pretty much, I have nothing to offer a potential man, and also have the "baggage" of children (who mean more to me than anything). So really, I doubt any guy will ever want me.

post #9 of 21

Also some good friends of mine are many years into the second marriage for both of them - she has 4, he has 1, and at the time they got together his was in K and her four were in 1st through 8th grades.  They are a lovely family and very happy.  It can and does happen.

 

Whether it will happen for me remains to be seen.

 

I'm reading the Mars/Venus books and have decided that I'm not going to do the pursuing.  I think that will weed out many of those who can't hack the situation.  If they pursue me (assuming they know about my kids), they must be open to the idea, right?  It sounds good in theory, anyway

post #10 of 21
Thread Starter 

Glad to hear I'm not alone! I'm certainly not ready right now. I've got anger towards the EX, that feels too fresh for me to be involved with anyone else. It wouldn't be fair to a new boyfriend/date/etc--- I wouldn't be able to give a new relationship the attention it deserves while still holding on to this anger.

It's so nice to feel like you aren't the only one!

 

post #11 of 21

 

Quote:
I'm not going to do the pursuing.  I think that will weed out many of those who can't hack the situation.  If they pursue me (assuming they know about my kids), they must be open to the idea, right? 

That's a really good idea!

 

 

 

 

Now...where are my 'pursuers'?orngtongue.gif

post #12 of 21
Quote:
Originally Posted by animegeekmom View Post

Are you me? Seriously...I have the same thoughts all the time. I will be 30 next feb...and I have four kids. One lives with her dad (my first ex) and my three boys are with me. I am in nursing school, too...not as far as you are, I am getting my associates this december. I have wondered a lot...who will want to date me? I have four kids, I am VERY shy, horrible in social situations. I am a VERY geeky person who is not into the things that a lot of "normal" people are into...i.e. I love anime (obviously), cartoons (Futurama, Thundercats...etc yay), comics, science, history, etc....I am overweight (trying to work on that), have no money for nice clothes so I have to dress like a bum pretty much, and my face is covered in acne. Pretty much, I have nothing to offer a potential man, and also have the "baggage" of children (who mean more to me than anything). So really, I doubt any guy will ever want me.


 

Try gk2gk.com   ;-)   I have a profile there too.  It doesn't seem super active... but you never know.  Worth putting up a profile anyway.  :D

 

post #13 of 21

I'm almost ready to date, and definitely looking to see what's out there. If you've dated or found a relationship (or know someone who has), where do you (or they) meet someone? I WAH and can hardly get out without the babe. Any info or ideas are welcome :)

post #14 of 21



i'll take a look...ty :)

Quote:
Originally Posted by Phoenix~Mama View Post




 

Try gk2gk.com   ;-)   I have a profile there too.  It doesn't seem super active... but you never know.  Worth putting up a profile anyway.  :D

 



 

post #15 of 21



If I had an answer to that one...I'd tell ya...I am never able to get out w/o my kids. It was hard enough getting sitters for them so I can go to school two nights a week. :P Just tonight I was telling my mom how I would love some time to myself soon, just to relax, and she said, "well the baby will be in preschool in two years." I was hoping she would offer to watch them sometime. So even if I did find some guy interested in me...I'd never be able to go on a date. I cannot win.

Quote:
Originally Posted by PiperLime View Post

I'm almost ready to date, and definitely looking to see what's out there. If you've dated or found a relationship (or know someone who has), where do you (or they) meet someone? I WAH and can hardly get out without the babe. Any info or ideas are welcome :)



 

post #16 of 21

I have 4 children and started dating last year a few times, then in May I met my boyfriend. So you will find someone.

post #17 of 21

I am a thirty-two year old single mother of three. Lasting love has not found me yet, and while I want it, I am also enjoying the experience of being a single mother with freedom and independence. I just want to say that love is illogical. It can happen anytime, anywhere, to anyone. That may sound romantic, but I believe it.love.gif Hold onto hope, and in the meanwhile enjoy yourself and your children, and the unique experience of being a single mother!

post #18 of 21

I know someone who has 8 children and is getting married again in a few months.  Her ex is also remarried.

post #19 of 21

I know this thread is oldish but you will meet someone (if you haven't already). I have 3 kids from a previous relationship. Ex and I broke up almost 2 years ago and I have a new boyfriend, we have only been together 2 months but things are going fine so far. He knew right from the start I had kids and didn't mind at all. He also has a son from a previous relationship too, but I haven't met him yet. By the way I am 29 (30 in August) and my boyfriend is 31.

post #20 of 21

I'm so glad, I'm not the only one in this situation and who has found a partner! This really gives me hope :)

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