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not so thrilled

post #1 of 11
Thread Starter 

it seems everyone is thrilled to be expecting again. this is my fifth and i have three children five and under. just relocated 1200 miles from my hometown a few months ago. i dont have girlfriends yet. in fact i am starting to feel depressed. i am almost 40 . i wanted to start enjoying life with out babies but here i am again. i had an appointment to terminate but i cant live with myself. i really did not want another baby but i will still love him/her like the others. at least we have stability. i just wanted more freedom.

post #2 of 11

I'm sorry. I don't know what to say, it sounds like you have gone through a lot of changes in the last few months. hug2.gif

post #3 of 11

hug2.gif Hang in there.  Check out the Find Your Tribe forum, I bet you can find some other mamas in your area. 

post #4 of 11

I was going to suggest this too -- finding mamas in your area will really help you, especially if those moms have new babies or are pregnant as well. Also, try finding some babysitters in your area that you trust. Taking a little "me time" every now and then might help as well. hug2.gif

Originally Posted by BubbleMa View Post

hug2.gif Hang in there.  Check out the Find Your Tribe forum, I bet you can find some other mamas in your area. 


post #5 of 11

I had a rough time with my last.  I felt like dh blamed me for not feeling well, and we weren't very close.  And, we moved, and our best friend died in a wreck, I had to get rid of my dog, and I had some health issues, and...blah.  It was really, really, really hard to bond with teh baby.


And then, when I was about 8.5mo pg, we got a puppy.  I realized that I DID have it in me to love something else.  And that this baby was MINE.


I still had a hard time with it all, but when she was born, it was so right.  She was my baby, and I've not had any issues at all with bonding or anything.  Be gentle on yourself.  It can be hard, but grieving what you wanted is good, and lets you be open to the joy of something else. 


So, let yoruself be sad at your loss of freedom, and also dig deep to see if there is anything else bothering you.  I think you'll find that soon you'll be surprised you ever felt this way.  Life changes are always a journey.


post #6 of 11

I appreciate your honesty. Sometimes it is easy to get sucked into posting only the rosy moments of life, but that just isn't reality. We just moved also, I am now about 2,000 mile from everyone I love except my husband and girls. I have very grump babies. We were not expecting this babe. This was harder to get my head around than my last 3 pregnancy's that were planned and surrounded by family and friends. Give yourself some grace, feel how you feel and decide to move into a different space. Yes, it was a surprise. You will face challenges. But look beyond that. It is only hard for a little while, and this is a whole life. Think of all the joy this baby will bring to your other children, to your family. A well raised child is a gift to the world. Feel discouraged and overwhelmed. But know you are strong and have made it through before. You will again. You will be blessed and bless others through this life your carrying. Prayin' for ya.

post #7 of 11

grouphug.gif Don't feel bad about feeling sad! That just makes it all worse. Like others have said, it's not selfish to feel like you might miss out on things you wanted. We are here to support you, no matter your choice. I hope peace finds you either way.

post #8 of 11

Lisa, a lot of your post rings true to me.  This is our 5th baby and it was a total surprise.  We may have a good chance of moving within the next 3 months, and while it is back to a place we lived for 12 years, it is away from the friends my kids have made in the past 3 years.  They don't really know their old friends that well... and it is back to a much bigger city.


Having another baby right now is like the craziest thing I could be doing right now. But I do think that things will change and no one knows what the future will bring. 

post #9 of 11

It's nice that there's varying experience and situations here. Hugs to you all posting in this thread who are struggling! I am 8 weeks or so pregnant with my 5th. My youngest just turned three and this is an unplanned pregnancy. I am using progesterone to keep baby safe inside. I start cramping again when I forget to take it. I knew my progesterone was very low due to lab work a year ago and this was part of the reason we were avoiding. In addition, I also have fibromyalgia, chronic fatigue, pathogenic overgrowth in my GI, vulvar vestibulitis, severe food allergies and impaired digestion, and progesterone/cortisol hormone imbalance. I am not in any sort of shape to be going through a pregnancy, but after prayer and soul searching, felt led to help this little one grow. I could not otherwise. Just taking one day at a time. I feel this will be a miracle baby if he/she makes it. I am concerned about birth defects, but will take what comes as it comes. I did not come into this pregnancy well nourished nor was I taking a vitamin of any sort, but am pounding the supplements now. I mostly missed the first six weeks to supplement when baby had its most vulnerable developmental time though, before birth is obviously the most ideal. :( I have an ultra sound next week. That is exciting! I have only had one before due to measuring big and found out our baby was a month farther along that we had thought. My husband and I have an 8 year old boy, 6 year old boy, 5 year old boy, and 3 year old boy. Maybe it'll be a girl. :) I would love a boy again though. They are too awesome. All four of my babies were born at home with a midwife and the last three were water births. I am considering a hospital birth for this babe. Congrats everyone!

Edited by JENinOR - 10/8/11 at 7:03pm
post #10 of 11

Some very mixed feelings here too. I'm over 40 and have two boys (4 and 6). I also own my own business, which is having a hard time right now and causing its fair share of anxiety. My partner works away a lot so I juggle a lot of things and. I find it very hard to imagine doing everything I do now, but with a baby! I was also looking forward to traveling more now that the kids are older. On the other hand, I always wanted a bigger family, so I'm trying to readjust my life in whatever way I can to free up more time and space. On a bad day I feel very overwhelmed. On a good day I feel very happy. As I said, very mixed feelings... Hugs to you.

post #11 of 11

I can relate. This is my 7th. I tried calling my mother to talk yesterday and get some support. Her response was "Well no one forced you to get pregnant with all those babies! "  She is such a cow. I am stressed out sick and I have high risk pregnancies. I have thought about terminating because of my health, but I couldn't live with my self. I love being a mom and I love my kids. Its really hard with my health and my business being super high stress right now.I have a meeting on thursday and i am not sure how I am going to make it through all 5 hours. So I do understand. what dose not kill us only makes us stronger. Being here I know I am surrounded by strong women who already are s step above. We can do it!

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