Hi Mamma Mia, just wanted to give you a . You may feel all alone but yes, there are others around you that know exactly what you're going through and how you're feeling. I've been trying for 2 years and I'm so with you...I hate facebook now. i go on for about 2 minutes just to see whether i need to wish anyone a happy birthday. (in fact, i've decided that when I finally get pregnant, I'm definitely NOT going to post about it on facebook, just in case there are others like us out there!)
I also try to avoid pregnant people. My SIL is pregnant though and about to give birth (tomorrow, c section) so I need to get over that! I try to pretend that I'm happy for a person when she announces she is pregnant and inside, I just weep. No one in my family knows I'm going through this so i feel alone on that front too. When anyone from my family asks me whether i'm planning on getting pregnant soon (i'm 35 so i'm getting that more often), I just shrug and walk away. But a couple of things get me through it...
1) The women here. Even if the women on any of my forums gets pregnant, I'm so happy. (still sad that I'm not pregnant but really happy for them) I just think that we all know how much pain, effort and tears have gotten us to this point and so when one of us gets pregnant, it's a reason for hope.
2) My DH. he's been so amazing in all of life but never more in making me feel like I'm not alone. Never in life will "for better or worse" be more poignant than during infertility struggles. I know my DH wants a baby asap but he never makes me feel rushed or defective. (I have unexplained infertility, dh is fine) I don't know what i would do without him.
You know what really annoys me? It annoys me when I think back to when i was young and everyone was telling us how we had to be so careful because it's so easy to get pregnant. Not that I would have wanted to get pregnant then but seriously, what the heck?!?! I go through my what ifs a lot...what if I stopped bcps much earlier than I did? (It took me 1.5 years to regulate after birth control pills- i only stopped them 3 months before trying to conceive). What if I started trying younger? What if what if what if. ARGH!
Anyway, I just wanted to let you know that you're not alone and that I know many of the women here can relate. I certainly can. So I hope that you get a lot of joy in other areas of life and that you get your BFP soon. Then, you can be the one finally making the announcement.