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Insulted - Page 2

post #21 of 26

Ok... My DH does nothing.  NOTHING!  And he's the best at it too.  However I don't have to do the school drill everyday and I don't have to make dinner.  Those are the two things he does.  The rest... well... I do.  If this is your situation, as in your husband comes home every day, does laundry, cleans the kitchen, bathroom, readies the clothes for the next day, feeds the dogs, pays the bills, showers the kids, does homework with the kids, volunteers at school events with the kids...

Then just maybe he can safely say you do nothing.  But the top of the fridge... WTH?!

 

I like to know what some peoples spouses do at work.  See I do NOTHING!  I do stuff, but it's really nothing.  NO stress, no deadlines.  Just show up and hang out all day with my friends.  And yes, I do some work but it's fun to me so really, it's not work.  So if I do laundry, doesn't bother me.  If I do the routines with the kids, YAY!  I love my kid time. 

 

Was his mother a stay at home?  If you're on good terms sometimes moms can be bears!  DH's mom's have set him straight numerous times,  he doesn't like to argue and see me reach for the phone about stuff he just doesn't get.

post #22 of 26

His response was to wipe his fingers across the top of the refrigerator, which were then of course covered in dirt and says, "This is insulting." 

 

That is SO DEMEANING.  And it's sad that he has to go to that length to "prove" your laziness.  It's sad that he WANTS to go that far to try to prove you don't do enough.  Since he's so "traditional", yeah, why doesn't he make enough money to support his family?  Food stamps and your parents paying the rent doesn't sound like he's exactly pulling his weight. 

 

Whatever he was like as the beginning, he's simply not that way now.  Most abusers don't exactly start out showing all their cards, anyhow.  That doesn't mean that you have to punish yourself by staying with someone like that.  Better to have your parents pay rent for a place for you and the kids, and you already have food stamps either way - and he can pay child support.  I would not live with such nastiness and that is bad for your children to see.  And please don't even waste your breath to him, defending his ridiculous statements - just hand him a bottle of cleaner and a rag, and walk away.  Walk right on into a lawyer's office.

post #23 of 26

I'd write 'F_ _ _  YOU!' into the dust on top of the refrigerator if DH ever had the nerve to say something like that to me. That is, if there wasn't tea light candles, an iron, a heating pad, leather wipes, someone's tupperware I haven't returned and a cooler bag up there, and there was actually enough of a clear space to leave said message.

post #24 of 26

What if on the week (especially when his daughter is home).. you go for YOUR weekend since you earned it. Get up and leave with the baby and say ahh my weekend! smile sweetly and take you and the 6 month old to a hotel and relax or a friends and be sure he knows not to call you. Let him do EVERYTHING. Come home Sunday night and bitch how he missed the dust in the window sill and go to bed

post #25 of 26

My husband says you should ask him how much work he would get done if he had to take care of the three children in his workplace.

 

I would also tell him he's a parent, and he needs to do some parenting when he's home.  And I'd ask him how much work his he willing to do if you get a job.  Is he willing to do half of everything?  Is he going to dust the top of the fridge when he's home taking care of the kids?  Is he willing to shop half the time and fix half the meals and do the dishes if you have a job outside the home?  Did he dust the top of his fridge before he had kids?  

post #26 of 26

I still think you need to call his mama!

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