Struggling, need pep talk. « Back to Group Discussions

[copper.kettle]

DS1 was the worst sleeper in history.  When I was pregnant this time, I just knew this baby would be a better sleeper.  Who gets a HORRIBLE sleeper twice?

Well, Will isn't a great sleeper, and he is so gassy it makes it hard for him to relax at all at night.  Jeb (DS1) nursed all night which was hard as hell, but we could nurse laying down.  Will is so gassy I have to sit up to make sure he isn't swallowing too much air, and I have to burp him 2 or 3 times/feeding to help decrease the gas.  So, each feeding takes 20-30 min of sitting up, and usually more time to re-settle him.  And he wants to eat every 2 hours.  So, sleep happens in 1.5 hour blocks, with being UP for 30-45 minutes in between.  Last night I had to bounce/walk/shush him from 2am-6am because he was having such gas issues.  I've cut out dairy and  tomatoes.  I give him mylecon and gripe water with almost every feed.  I don't know what else to do.

He's 5.5 weeks old, and the sleep deprivation is catching up with me.  I'm having a really hard time managing the 3 year old on this amount of sleep.

Girls, I am close to wanting to stop nursing!  I nursed DS1 for over 2 years.  But I just can't do this level of sleep deprivation again.  I slept in 2 hour blocks for a year with DS1, but I didn't have another kid to take care of.  I don't know if I can do that again.  I wouldn't even consider giving up nursing if I knew Will was going to sleep in 3 or 4 hour blocks.  I know formula doesn't make kids sleep longer, but at least DH could do more.  I could pass Will off for most of a night if it were just a matter of bottles!

I can't believe I'm even saying these things, but I'm getting to that desperate place.  WHY can't my babies just sleep 4 hours??!!!

[Baby_Cakes]

Originally Posted by copper.kettle 
 So, each feeding takes 20-30 min of sitting up, and usually more time to re-settle him.  And he wants to eat every 2 hours.  So, sleep happens in 1.5 hour blocks, with being UP for 30-45 minutes in between.  Last night I had to bounce/walk/shush him from 2am-6am because he was having such gas issues.  

This was my DD!!  OMG! It was hell on earth.  So, first, I HEAR you.

Stopping nursing isn't going to guarantee anything.  You'll probably have to experiment with different formulas until you find one your baby will tolerate.

Is pumping an option?  Having even one middle of the night feeding taken over for you will help you get some sleep in.  Also, if you did this for a night or two, it'll give you some perspective.  You'll be more well rested and you can revisit the problem.  I know when I feel like I cant take it for one more night, mysteriously I get more sleep and then I feel like I can do it.

Lastly, my advice to anyone considering switching is that nursing/sleeping WILL get easier.  But, once you make the switch, it's done.  You'll still have to make bottles, warm bottles, pack bottles, etc well into his first year.  This season will pass and your baby WILL sleep.  But you can never take back this decision to stop bf'ing.  Just my 2 cents mama.  I know it's hard. 

I don't have a baby that sleeps 4 hours either, and I have a 3 year old.  It's HARD.  That's an understatement! You aren't alone, really.  Hang in there!!

[nald1]

I so hear you.  DD was a horrid sleeper for months- and i did try pumping but was so stressed out by the time i tried that I hardly got anything.  I started pumping right away this time and am hoping to keep up so that I can let others feed DS for a MUCH needed break.  I agree with PP that I have nights I feel I cant do it anymore, then getting some sleep revives me and Im back on board - but finding a way to get that sleep is crucial.  Have you tried pumping?  I did end up adding formula with DD- and had a really hard time with my decision- BUT, it was necessary for my sanity- and DD wasnt gaining enough weight as well.  It is tricky finding which one works etc- and for me there was more worry around what she was consuming. BUT I got sleep and didnt lose my mind .......

I have a 4 yr old as well and often feel guilty that I am not the best parent on no sleep.  That part is so hard.

I think it's an individual decision and you need to do what's best for you...

[Italiamom]

I'd agree that you need to do what is best for you.

A true hardcore dairy allergy will take weeks of being off dairy, although I think that with the vast majority of dairy allergies, you would have seem *some* improvement within a week. If you haven't, it's most likely not dairy. Soy and wheat are the two other major culprits, but also can be harder to identify.

My son didn't sleep for more than 30 minutes at a time for the first year. I was extremely depressed due simply to sleep dep... Your body cannot renew seratonin stores without sleep, plain and simple. It was torturous, to be honest. If I thought that formula would have helped, I probably would have honestly done it in a heartbeat. But I didn't know for sure, and I didn't want to risk it.

Any pediatrician can order an IgE and an IgG blood test. At such a young age it may not show you anything. But it's worth a shot. Also, maybe trying a few appointments with an acupuncturist, just as a starting point.

With DS, we didn't have the resources to try cranio, chiro, and acupuncture first. And I always wonder...

I'm so sorry you're dealing with this twice. That's not fair.

[copper.kettle]

tx for the pep talk girls.  i'm not going to quit, i just get kind of hopeless after several really bad nights.  and, we're moving from massachusetts to virginia next week, so we're feeling overwhelmed as it is! 

we'll all sleep again someday , right ? ; )

[Italiamom]

Copper, it is VERY much understood.  I had a sticky note on my mirror for over a year that said "you can sleep when you're dead."  Sleep deprivation is actually considered torture -- I believe it's banned in the Geneva Conventions...

Hang in there mama!!

[nald1]

Sleep deprivation is the worst - I also got really depressed with DD and remember thinking "what the hell are people talking about when they say having a baby is wonderful???"  Nothing seemed fun.  Hang in there - you WILL sleep someday - LOTS, hopefully before you're dead :)