Body Image issues...Now worse since dh cheated with someone with a great body, how do I cope? - Page 2

[A&A]

Get rid of him.  Seriously. 

[IwannaBanRN]

I love hearing this from you, A&A. And I agree with everyone except, of course the cheating husband. He sounds like a self-centered jerk unless he's caught with his hand in the cookie jar and even then it's someone else's fault. Good luck, OP.

[laura163]

Your husband didn't cheat on him because you haven't lost all your baby weight or because you are squishy in new spots.  He cheated on you because he is a coward. Instead of being  a man and talking to you about whatever he was feeling and working things out, he went outside the marriage to get his needs met.

Then he trickle truths you - almost the worst part about being cheated on.  You think you know it all and then BAM there is a new detail that sends your off into space.

if your husband isn't willing to open his heart, his email, phone records, text messages, facebook,  and whatever else he used to keep in touch with the other woman, then you can't begin to rebuild things.  I personlly think you are better off without him but I am not you.

[JenRave]

It is classic of an abuser that they blame everyone but themselves for the abusive behavior... now he's blaming us.  He worked hard for all those years... what about you with the kids?  That isn't work?

Good luck to you sweety.  Oh and screenshot his responses and bring it to your lawyer. 

[Linda on the move]

counseling.

Either by yourself or with your husband if you want to try to make your marriage work.

Many couples to get through affairs and grow and become stronger. It is possible.

But it's also possible to just stay in the same BS with him being more careful to not get caught next time. I wouldn't recommend that path.

It's time for serious growth -- either for you on your own to learn to love yourself, or the two of you together to figure out how to heal and move forward.

[peainthepod]

Oh, mama. Your husband (soon-to-be-ex, I hope) didn't cheat on you because of your body. He cheated on you because he's selfish, dishonest, unfaithful, and unwilling to take responsibility for his own choices. He makes ugly comments about your body? He gaslights you? He stalks you online when you seek relief and counsel and a safe place to vent about the pain he causes you? He blames you for his own misbehavior? He tries to isolate you from other people, especially people who care about you and want to help you?

Guess what? He's a classic abuser, too.

I'm so sorry the man you married turned out to be such a dud. You didn't deserve to be cheated on and there's nothing you could have done that would have "made" him cheat, or could have kept him from cheating if that's what he decided to do. He cheated because he's a cheating jerk, end of story. Drop this loser and work on healing yourself. I hope you'll take our posts to heart and find a way out of this marriage quickly and decisively. He's not behaving like a real man and you can do much better.

P.S. Change your MDC and other online passwords to be safe and if you have a private computer, password protect it with an opaque screensaver. And be sure to screen grab all of his posts in this thread. I grabbed them myself, just in case he tries to delete them after reading this. PM me if you need me to send you the image files.