Child care provider?
Even child care providers have a bad day. I would definitely listen tomorrow. If its a pattern, then I would talk to the DCP about what you heard and see what she has to say. If she doesn't see an issue with her tone of voice or gets defensive, I would definitely change providers because someone with this little patience is likely to snap at other times too, and who knows how fast and how far that snap would be.
Um....gross. I am assuming that you're probably AP or slightlly AP if you belong to MDC. If you don't speak to your son that way, why should your provider? I am a home child care provider, and I would NEVER yell at a daycare child, especially because he was upset. Besides that, this person has been lying to you about how she calms your child. I am seriously disgusted. I would look for alternate care ASAP, and if possible, pull him out immediately. NOT acceptable.
Ya....I'm significantly AP and I thought the CCP was too. Well as much as I could get here. I don't want to over-react, so I'm not going to move him right now. But I still feel upset about it. I'm going to listen again tomorrow and see what is going on. If it happens again, I'll sit down with them. (it is actually a mother/daughter team). I mean, I have had days where I have been frustrastrated with him...but she didn't even seem to try anything that they said they were doing.
I did childcare for three years and I would have been too embarassed to tell a child to "Be Quiet" in front of their parent.I might have shushed him, but I wouldn't have worded it that way.
While I wouldn't pull him out just based on what you described, I would do a couple of unannounced drop-ins during the day to see how he's doing and go from there.