Should I homeschool my son?

[CD'sMom]

I am really at my witts end here. My son has always always always struggled with school. He is now in 5th grade and is still struggeling. He has homework every night till 8 (well I dont let him do homework past 8 anyway) and then gets up in the mornig to finish it up the alot of the time. He is frustrated and overwhelmed as I am. I have sit with him most of the time to keep him on track and to keep him from getting every problem wrong. This is not cohesive being that I have another son who is 7 and also needs and deserves my attention. Plus hes been in school all day and doesnt want to have to sit and be quiet all evening while I help his brother do his homework.

We are in the process of getting him tested for LD's but who knows how long this will take and who knows if they will find a problem.

Anyway...I think I should homeschool him but just about everyone disagrees. What do you all think? Should I pull him out and homeschool or stick it out and keep him in school? I just want to do whats best for him.

[purslaine]

If you want to Hs him and he wants to - go for it!

If you think he has a LD, I would stick with the testing.  If you can do it privately easily, do it that way.  If cost is an issue... Is he on a list for testing - what is the timeline?

[CD'sMom]

Hes not sure about homeschool...he is worried he will miss his friends but I will make sure he still sees them regularly. He could even do basketball if I homeschool whereas now he cant because he has to much homework.

The school pscyolgist just called me actually and we have an app. next monday to sign all the paperwork and all that stuff then after that she will test him. The law says she has 30 days to actually do the testing.

[purslaine]

If he is unsure, could you try testing and then see if the accomodations they offer help?

Alternately, could you try going to the school and being very honest - the homework is cutting into your family time so much you are thinking of homeschooling?  Is he bringing home so much work because he does not get the required done in school?  Or is the amount genuinely too high?  In any event, you can just say "no" to homework.  I would urge you to post on the Learning at School forum and talk about homework.  My own take is I would tell the teacher we are only going to do 1 hour or so of homework per night - that it is creating serious stress in our family.  Ask if the teacher can prioritise what is important.  I think anything that counts as busy work would be the first to go.  I have scribed work for tired children - they do the work, I do the writing.  Just write "scribed" in the margin.  

I know my advice seems odd for the HSing section and I am very much pro HSing - but if your grade 5 student isn't in favour of it, it could be tricky.  I would try to resolve things with the school first and if you get nowhere in a timely manner then pursue HSing. 

Edited by purslaine - 4/15/12 at 11:34am

[OTMomma]

I agree it makes sense to do the testing through the school and see what they offer to do to make things better. That way you know exactly what the alternative is if you decide to homeschool. My greatest reason for homeschooling through the bad days is my adamant belief that school would be worse. If you don't do the testing, you will always wonder.

That said, if you feel homeschooling is the right choice for you and your ds, you should do it. There are lots of moms who homeschool kids who have LD's and are very happy with the choice. You may find you need to back up and fill in gaps or that given room to work at his own pace your ds does much better. But you will never know unless you try.

[CD'sMom]

Thank you so much for your input and help. We will deffintly be doing the testing through the school. It will be interesting to see what they say. I talked to his teacher today and told him I was DONE with the all night homework. The teacher is willing to work with us and of course thinks Hsing is a bad idea. So I think I will just wait to see what the testing says. But the psycologist said there is no help offered at his school and he would have to transpher to a different school if he does end up having a LD. Uggg..this is so stressful. He only had one thing to do for homework today but has been working on it over an hour. :( And thats with my help!

[kkaroonie]

I say it never hurts to try, and if it doesn't work out for him, well, at least you have explored another possibility.  And what if you don't try it and it could have been the one thing that worked so well for him?  I am seriously thinking of doing the same thing with my 9 year old son.  Also have another son who's almost three.  Go for it. You have nothing to lose.  All the best to you! :0)

[elizawill]

yes. i would personally homeschool him and never look back. his current situation sounds awful. homework until 8 and trying to finish it up before school? he's only in 5th grade & that sounds really stressful!  of course everyone is telling you not to homeschool because chances are none of them actually do homeschool. they certainly can't advise you on something they know nothing about, ykwim?

what does your son want? what do you want? figure that out.  that's what really matters.

[fruitfulmomma]

We have only ever homeschooleod but I am sure my oldest would be labeled LD if he were in school because reading is not something that has come easy to him. But the kid is a brilliant mechanic who is thriving in his own way at home. 

If you choose to hs you can meet your sons needs where he at without the pressure for him to keep up with the class. Maybe there are things he is better at that he is never given the opportunity to explore in a traditional classroom. If you choose to pull him out consider letting him have the summer free of academic pressure and slowly working back into it starting with a project that really interests him.

There are many resources for homescooling children with specific ld that you could use if a problem is found.

[briansmama]

I would absolutely pull him out and say goodbye to homework- that is not an appropriate amount of work for any child. As for the naysayers, looks closer- many likely do not have any other option and are immersed in the public school system.

Children deserve a childhood. Homework is a major reason we do not believe in standardized Ed.

[SweetSilver]

Just for perspective--I don't know how old you are, but I'm 43.

In 5th grade in 1979, I felt so grown up because for the *first time* in my life I was taking home my math book to do *one* page of homework.  DH, 6 years older than I, had a similar experience.  

I'd take him out and give him some time to decompress and "deschool" before moving on with any formal homeschooling.

[Hippie Mama in MI]

I vote yes on homeschool. It sounds like the right thing for your situation.

And I would like to very, very gently present you with a possibility you may not have considered: Perhaps the problem is not with your child at all. Perhaps it is the SCHOOL that has the problem. In my humble opinion, school people like to toss around the term "learning disabled" to draw attention away from their own shortcomings. It is quite possible that, given the intellectual freedom and love of his mother at home, your child will prove to you that he was never anywhere near "learning disabled." It is an overused label, to be sure.

Someone mentioned giving him some time to "deschool" between public and home school, and that is an excellent suggestion.

The best of luck to your family. You should be proud of yourself, for having the courage to pull him out.