I am a terrible mom

[neonalee]

DS seems to be teething molars. Today he was screaming & crying while I finished dinner prep then I took him upstairs hoping to nurse him to sleep but he was still crying while nursing. I gave him tylenol & used some baby orajel. He calmed down and half fell asleep but never enough to unlatch him. Finally I had to get up & finish dinner (late) and feed pets clean liter boxes etc. He started screaming the second I put him down & he wouldn't stop (ergo isn't practical for what I had to do). Finally I put him in his crib with his blankie. I just couldn't take it anymore. He cried for 15 or 20 min before I finished and went and got him. We clung to each other for awhile. I feel awful. Like the worst mom ever.

What do I do next time? These aren't chores that can wait like folding laundry.

sent from my phone using tapatalk, please excuse typos.

[ThreeTwoFive]

Next time: Have a glass of wine while you make dinner?  And breathe.

Seriously, you sound like a perfectly competent parent.  Let go of the guilt and know that teething does not last forever. 

[neonalee]

Thanks I feel a little better today.  When DP got home he took him for 2 hours.  He cried during at least half of that, but when I brought him to bed he nursed without hanging out on the boob and then fell asleep for 3.5 hours!  Poor guy was just worn out, just like mom lol  He then woke almost every hour, but at least we got some sleep last night and this morning he doesn't seem any worse for it.

Thankfully most nights I haven't been responsible for dinner but with DP working evening more often I'm going to hunt down some more good crockpot recipes.  I thought about having a small drink (port or scotch), but we don't often have wine in the house.  I was worried about sending a bad message to my step-daughter about drinking when things aren't going well.  Maybe I should get some of our favorite wine again.

[pranava]

You sound like a wonderful super attentive mother to me.  There are some things that just have to be done, and I don't think you harmed your child in any way by what you did.  You left him lovingly and came back to him as quick as you could for more love.  From little experiences like this, he will learn that you sometimes have to go, but you always love him and always come back. 

[andromedajulie]

Mama, we all have days like this. (except for those with staff) I know it feels horrible. But sometimes you have to take a break after you give and give and give. My LO is just a week older than yours and - ugh! - I hear ya. Don't feel guilty. You are doing a great job!

[McGucks]

Our 17 month old is teething and has been very clingy and wants to nurse a lot.  He also has been very whiny.  I told him to "put a sock in it" yesterday.  I didn't feel good about it, but it doesn't make me a bad mother.  It makes me human, as are you.

I quit drinking years ago, but boy, having a little one sure makes me think about it a lot!  It can be so trying and grating on bad days or during bad times.

You want to hear about a bad parent?  I was at the grocery yesterday and there was a 3 year old in the cart, not strapped in.  She was reaching for candy and about to fall out.  I caught her and her dad (who wasn't close/watching) realized what had happened and came up behind her.  He hit her on the bottom so hard that she almost fell out of the cart again.  He then turned around and very nicely thanked me for keeping her from falling.  It was awful.

Parenting isn't about the one thing we say or do that isn't wonderful over the course of a day, for the most part.  It's about the thousand decent things we do in between.

[gitanamama]

You sound like a wonderful, aware, loving mama. We all have days (or weeks, or months...) like that. I firmly believe that weren't meant to parent in the isolated, nuclear families that are so common in the "developed" world. I think being the primary (or sole!) care provider without a live-in support network can make even the most patient, loving mama feel like a monster sometimes. 

I wish I had some practical advice, but all I can really provide is commiseration. Whenever we have a rough patch, I try to remind myself that "this too shall pass." Hoping you both are feeling better!