My ex and I have been separated for 3 years. We were never married, and have managed to keep things civil and handle our own arrangements. However, he can be incredibly hard to work with, uncooperative, unwilling to see outside his "victim" point of view, and I've reached my breaking point. He displays many of these signs: http://www.stanford.edu/group/svab/DV-abuse_cycle.pdf and what gets me is that unless there is marked physical abuse, there's no way to measure or count for the emotional which isn't visible. I'm thinking about seeing a counselor through my university, and I'm wondering if we ever did go to court (for 50/50 for example, which we haven't exactly done because it makes no sense for him to keep her through a day in which I am home and he would require a sitter), would it serve as tangible evidence that he's been out of line? Like, would I be able to say that I've been in counseling to deal with the random bouts of passive/aggressive harassment? Blah. I hate this. When it's good, we're good, for the most part - we can sort of coparent (to the best of his coparenting understanding, which isn't fantastic), but when it's bad, there's no reasoning and it isn't constructive or productive.
Thanks in advance.
Also, we're in Michigan, if anyone is particularly familiar with our state's systems. I know some states still favor mothers - Michigan claims to favor 50/50 and not just err on the mom's side.