Background -- I was neglected and abused as a child and left home as a teen. I spent several years not speaking to my parents at all. I eventually found it sort of draining, so I now have a distant relationship with them. They live half way across the country so seeing them doesn't come up much. I haven't seen my father for 2 years; my mother came for a visit last year.
They are coming to see us. God knows why. They are combining it with a vacation, so it isn't just about seeing us, but still. We just aren't close -- I don't see the point of the visit at all.
I'm setting boundaries -- first, they aren't allowed to sleep in my home. I can't sleep under the same roof as my father -- literally. I would not be able to get any sleep with him in the house. I got them numbers for a couple of near by hotels. Second, I'm limiting the length of the visit. They wanted to see us for 5 days, and I explained that we are busy with work and school, but that a weekend would be fine. We have compromised on a 3 day visit. (My DH is taking the 3rd off)
My parents are judgmental and even without meaning to, make little comments that put down my home and how our family operates. We aren't the same religion. They are fundy christians and I follow yoga as a spiritual path. One of my DD's is pagan, and my DH and other DD are atheist. They don't just see us "different' but as "wrong" and as "going to hell."
My kids attend an alternative school (which is cool and that we love) but I know I'm going to have to answer all sorts of questions about it, about getting ready for college, etc.
My father loves to argue (he thinks it's a sport) and he drones on and on about subjects he is interested in without noticing that no one else is interested.
My goal is to find my center and stay there during their visit. To be able to observe what is happening without jumping in with all sorts of emotions. My most hopeful thought is we can spend some nice time in nature together (I live near mountains) and have a couple of meals at the house and they will play board games with the kids.
I hope that's not too much to ask.