Diaper change meltdowns

[amandabcook]

I know this is a common problem, but my 14mo son throws full blown tantrums during diaper changes.  He's been doing this for months.  I have tried everything I can think of.  We try giving him toys, interesting objects, electronics.  Generally these things work for a minute or two, and then not again.  Cell phones are a favorite of his, but even that doesn't work every time, and I'd obviously rather he didn't have our expensive cell phones right near such a mess.  We've tried the Happiest Toddler on the Block-style echoing his frustration: "Simon is angry!  Simon doesn't want to lay down!"  We've tried holding him down.  We've tried singing.  We've tried doing deep breaths.  We've tried hugs (before, during...).  Nothing really works, at least not consistently.  He gets really worked up, screaming, red in the face, tears streaming down his face.  How can I help him avoid this state, and save my sanity?!  Thanks in advance.  :)

[stephbrownthinks]

I'll be watching this for replies.

DS started fighting diaper changes around 10 months or so and I've been waiting for him to get over the "phase" everyone assured me it was. He's 16 months now and still throwing fits only now he's bigger and stronger:) Occasionally he's fine, sometimes a song, tickling, something interesting will work, but most of the time its a struggle and he's trying to roll away and kick the whole time. If it looks like there won't be any way to calm him down I basically pin him and do it as fast as I can then try to distract him and cheer him up afterwards. Sometimes he's okay with it if I change him while he's standing or running around, but obviously that isn't always possible and can be really hard depending on the type of diaper.

[McGucks]

Our only recent success (and, I might add, it's a partial success) has been migrating from the "I see you're upset, Mommy's almost done..." (completely ineffective) to "Where's your nose?  Where's your tummy?"  He knows enough body parts at almost 1.5 years that I can usually get some wiping done before he catches on.  I also give him things he's not usually allowed to hold (ie:  a pen, a wipe--but NOT the diaper cream--he got a mouthful once when I had the bright idea to let him hold it), which works sometimes.

If DH is home, he plays with his hands so he doesn't get poop all over himself.  Ew.

[dejagerw]

Can you change him standing up? That sometimes helps.

[amandabcook]

We change almost all pee diapers standing up (or on the go in some way), but I haven't figured out a way to do this with poop diapers without poop flying all over the place...

[ShanaV]

All good advice above. In addition, what I do for poop with my squirmers / screamers: Take him to the bathroom sink, holding him upright. Then I stand him on his feet on the counter, facing me. While balancing him there, I wet a washcloth (or two) that I keep at the ready. I gently ease down the poopy pants, wipe down the bum, fold up the poo diaper to clean off afterwards. Then I pick him up kind of over my shoulder, just so he bends enough for me to get a thorough wipe down of ye olde butt crack. Then I proceed to flop him on the bed and wrangle the squirmer into a new dipe.

Holding him like this keeps his hands out of his poopy crotch -- egad, I hate grabby poopy hands! -- and keeps him happier bc he's hugging mommy the whole time.

[amandabcook]

Shana, this seems like the type of maneuver I need to master!  Thanks!

[sunwise]

Nothing helpful to add - just wanted to say that I am so glad that we aren't the only ones going through this! Our 13 month old generally hates diaper changes, and the more tired he is, the more he protests. Some times of day he is fine (as long as we keep it quick!), but lots of changes are a struggle. Good to get some ideas about how to deal!

[Perdita_in_Ontario]

Yep. For ages every time I said "It's time to change a diaper!" either DD or DH would say "get ready for the screaming!"

I have a chest of toys at the change station because each toy will work once a day. If I'm not anticipating a poop, we use training pants because he's much happier being changed standing up. We do the same types of distractions. And sometimes, I just do my best to wrangle him (which is getting more difficult as he gets bigger and stronger). The easiest is standing up changes though. He's almost fine with those.

[Beauchamp]

For my 2yo (who *can* hurt me with her kicking legs if she gets mad enough and resists)...I turn on Nick Jr.

[stephbrownthinks]

I forgot, something else I do if we're at home and DS has a messy poop is to put him on the toilet and spray him off with the diaper sprayer. Or set him in the sink and just wash his bum in there. He doesn't love it, but puts up with it more than the changing table:)

For those of you that have older children who have gone through this phase, when did it end??? My friend runs a daycare and all the kids my son's age (16 months) lay there calmly. I'm hoping there's an end in sight but I've been hoping that for 6 months now :/

[Beauchamp]

Originally Posted by stephbrownthinks 

I forgot, something else I do if we're at home and DS has a messy poop is to put him on the toilet and spray him off with the diaper sprayer. Or set him in the sink and just wash his bum in there. He doesn't love it, but puts up with it more than the changing table:)

For those of you that have older children who have gone through this phase, when did it end??? My friend runs a daycare and all the kids my son's age (16 months) lay there calmly. I'm hoping there's an end in sight but I've been hoping that for 6 months now :/

Well, mine is 27mo old and still going strong. She haaaaaaaaaates the potty.

[stephbrownthinks]

Originally Posted by Beauchamp 



Well, mine is 27mo old and still going strong. She haaaaaaaaaates the potty.

Oh no! Haha not what I was hoping to hear... oh well, it could be worse I suppose. I'm due with DS2 in Dec and keep telling my husband "I can't wait to be diapering a baby that won't be trying to get away from me!" The crying I can handle... its the flailing and rolling and basically crocodile wrestling that frustrate me.

[kinkajoujou]

Have you all tried those diapers that are like briefs, pampers has them and they're called easy-up over here. I use them for my DD as I was getting sick and tired of the struggling and chasing a dirty bottom around! So now we put them on standing up, then when she poos I take her straight to the bathtub, tear off the sides (that's how you take them off), wash and dry her and put another one on! it's made life soooo much easier! plus they have bob the builder on them so now I tell her "let's go get a clean bob" and she looks at the pictures and everything, so she's quite mellowed to the idea of a diaper change..

[sweet~potato]

Originally Posted by kinkajoujou 

Have you all tried those diapers that are like briefs, pampers has them and they're called easy-up over here. I use them for my DD as I was getting sick and tired of the struggling and chasing a dirty bottom around! So now we put them on standing up, then when she poos I take her straight to the bathtub, tear off the sides (that's how you take them off), wash and dry her and put another one on! it's made life soooo much easier! plus they have bob the builder on them so now I tell her "let's go get a clean bob" and she looks at the pictures and everything, so she's quite mellowed to the idea of a diaper change..

This is what we used too and they helped so much!.  My ds hated diaper changes since he was around 10 months old.  I had been using cloth before I started with the easy ups, but I just couldn't get them on him anymore by the time he was 18 months and I was beyond frustrated every time I had to change him.  The easy ups definitely made things easier.
 

[wishin'&hopin']

We cloth diaper...and there is no way I could do a prefold and cover standing.  What I do for poop diapers is (hangs head in shame) put on a short youtube video (barefoot books "Driving My Tractor" is a favorite).  He knows that if he doesn't lie still that the video goes away (the barefoot books ones are all under 4 minutes).

[gitanamama]

Great thread--I'll have to try some of these suggestions. My 16 month old hates having his diaper changed as well. And since we use cloth with covers, it can be a long process and standing up makes it even trickier (although I've been successful a couple times.) My little guy also hates having his face and hair washed, his clothes changed, his teeth brushed, his nails cut...the list goes on and on. I'm just glad to hear I'm not the only one doing the crocodile wrestle at every diaper change!

[Perdita_in_Ontario]

My friend has a DS who is even more difficult for diaper changes than my DS, and she started putting him in heavy duty cloth training pants at about 15 months so she could change him standing up. The ones she uses have snaps on the side (Tinkle Time Trainers). I use Happy Heiny training pants when we're out of the house so I can change him standing up - they're basically a pocket diaper. I also can use side-snapping fitteds (ME Sandys) with a pull-on Bummis cover.

For the odd time we use disposables, I have decided we're moving to the pull-on type. I've heard that the "training pants" are less absorbent than diapers, but Huggies has Slip-Ons now that are pull-on diapers rather than training pants. Pretty expensive, but we go through a pack about once every 2-3 months, so I'm okay with that.

[kinkajoujou]

Originally Posted by Perdita_in_Ontario 

My friend has a DS who is even more difficult for diaper changes than my DS, and she started putting him in heavy duty cloth training pants at about 15 months so she could change him standing up. The ones she uses have snaps on the side (Tinkle Time Trainers). I use Happy Heiny training pants when we're out of the house so I can change him standing up - they're basically a pocket diaper. I also can use side-snapping fitteds (ME Sandys) with a pull-on Bummis cover.

For the odd time we use disposables, I have decided we're moving to the pull-on type. I've heard that the "training pants" are less absorbent than diapers, but Huggies has Slip-Ons now that are pull-on diapers rather than training pants. Pretty expensive, but we go through a pack about once every 2-3 months, so I'm okay with that.

I have also noticed that if you combine the pull-ups with the potty (taking them there often throughout the day), the cost of diapers, wipes (if you use them) and everything else diaper-related goes WAY down!

[dejagerw]

I can change standing up with my bum genius diapers (velcro ones).