BuggaBoo was lying in his bed with Doozer today while I was painting his room. They were smacking each other and being a general nuisance. After a bit I asked BuggaBoo to stop what he was doing because Doozer didn't like it. He told me, "Mommy, I was just playing the private game with her."
I kept my cool and asked him what the "private game" was. He told me that C (neighbor kid, 4.5 years old) plays it with him. He said that C asks him to pretend to pee and poop. He said he always tells C, "No!" That seems to basically be it.
C is a big bully to BuggaBoo and I've been intervening and protecting BuggaBoo's boundaries. He hits, has sat on BuggaBoo's face, has tried pushing him off the top of our play structure, and threatens not to play with him if BuggaBoo doesn't go along with what C wants to do. Every time something dangerous happens he goes home. A few times C has started a game of "I'll show you mine..." and both me and C's parents put a stop to that. But he still tries to do it, even hiding the "game" in order to keep doing it. BuggaBoo doesn't see much wrong with this because he's still very much in his naked phase. About 6 months ago I've introduced the "underwear around non-family members" rule since it was time and he was ready for it. But since nudity isn't a big deal for BuggaBoo it's hard to convey why he shouldn't play those types of "games" with C.
C's parents seem to know there's an issue, and I've brought it up with them, but they don't make their punishments stick. I really don't like how they deal with it. I've been debating long and hard about keeping this relationship going. BuggaBoo just adores playing with C and he does a good job for standing up for himself.
Anyways, back to the "private game". I know little kids get into potty humor, so the peeing and pooping aspect doesn't bother me so much. What really bugs me is the hiding of the game and the fact that it includes genitals. Also, even though BuggaBoo is learning to stand up for himself he's still easily manipulated and C is very manipulative. It makes me very uncomfortable to have them playing together after this.
So I'm looking for advice. I need to talk to my neighbors about their son's participation in the "private game" but I don't know how to go about it. Is this something you would cut all contact about, or would you let them play on a limited closely supervised basis?