HI, sorry I missed a kind reply. Oh yeah, we tried night weaning. It did NOT WORK. I'd tell him the go to sleep and he's scream "NURSERS NOT GO TO SLEEP" and scream and cry. He honestly gets himself so worked up. DH would take him to soothe him, or we'd try rubbing his back, and he'd just get himself worked up towards puking. It seemed exactly like CIO. The one time we were absolutely determined to do it, I tried Jay Gordon's method, he screamed for five hours the first time - we sat there rubbing his back. In the middle of the night he does not make any sense at all.
One thing we did to cope was just drop the nap. It sucks because he's even more tired, but I can at least get him to sleep before midnight if we drop the nap. This worked well until recently, I mean, I was getting 5--6 hours again with that strategy. It's not like I was really crazy about dropping the naps, either, but when it takes 2 plus (sometimes 3, and sometimes he just will.not.go.to.sleep) hours to get him down, no matter how much I try to get him down at the "right" time, it's getting impossible anyway.
I have to say the two year molars are KILLING us. He got two of them and things seemed to improve dramatically for a few days but I think the top two are now coming in. And also, because we are doing naps only infrequently, I definitely believe that we're dealing with an adrenalized, over-tired kid half the time. Without a nap, he's actually tired when we do bedtime, and he will nurse down in bed or sometimes we do have to pull out the ergo if he's resisting and he'll fall asleep. And then like I said, we were getting some solid stretches. But, like I said, the teeth. OMG, these teeth.
We have not done CIO. Ultimately, we aren't those kinds of parents but there is DEFINITELY a part of me that understands parents who DO CIO more, because when you can genuinely see your child suffering during the day because he's so damn tired, it is hard. Also, I'm experiencing health probjems - rapid heart beat, breathlessness and high blood pressure, I've had a pretty full medical workup, and my doctor diagnosed GERD (for me) and says my hormones are off. She specifically asked how I'm sleeping. HA! Some nights I'm lucky if I get 1/2 hour of sleep. My husband will wake up and allow me to nap in the morning, so I can always at least count on 2-3 hours that way, but some nights, that's basically it. I've developed insomnia myself, because try as i might to remain calm, after 3 hours of on again, off again, acrobatic nursing, I am a jumbled, anxious, adrenaline-filled mess myself, and it takes a while to unpack the anxiety that produces and go to sleep myself.
We have totally tried talking it over with our son, who is extremely verbal during the day. But he loses his mind at night, there's no talking to him. We've talked about me sleeping in our spare room with good earplugs and just letting my husband comfort without me there. I think that's the next step, we have to at least try it. I could handle him nursing all night, but it's that he gets so rough - puts his other hand into my shirt and scratches, etc, and is half asleep. It's clear that he is trying to keep himself awake.
Last night my husband and I talked about maybe getting an eval for him, to make sure there is not some special needs issue making itself known this way. My gut says no, but then during the night I think "there is something going on here." I know some are better sleepers than others, but the absolute meltdowns are just - I can't even describe them. We are going to try to ride this out until those damn teeth come in. We've had other crazy night time events before and when new teeth come we are always like "whew!" but because it's been SO LONG that he seems to have been dealing with these two year molars (like, over 6 months since we first thought they were coming in, until the bottom two finally started actually cutting through) it is hard for me to feel confident that's what's going on. Anyone else's kid take almost a year to get those molars, and if so, were things basically insane at night the entire time/
Well, thanks for chiming in. I'll check back sooner next time. Because we recently had a "good" stretch of nights, it is sort of making the latest insanity easier to deal with. Last night was a particularly rough night. We have a dog, who heard something outside and barked (this does not often happen). It woke up DS, and he was up for 4 hours. I nursed him for the first 2.5 or so, and then had to get up to pee, and he flipped. DH took him and he was screaming "No! Dadda don't hold me! I do NOT love dadda! Dadda is not my favorite! Want mama to nurse me!" I laid back down and this persisted for an hour or so. He gets less and less rational as the meltdown wears on. Trust me, we are aware that there is some manipulation there (at one point, he's like "want mama to come and give me a little kiss!") Well, who can resist that? But it's a ploy to get me to come! When I get there he's like MAMA NURSE ME NOW! So there's a part of me who thinks, lat what point do we just exert some control here and say "my love, mama just cannot nurse you all night, mama needs to sleep too. We will nurse in the morning when the sun comes up" and he just freaks and says "WANT THE SUN TO COME UP NOWWWWWW!" It's occasionally half funny, mostly heart-breaking, often infuriating, and 100 percent a frustrating and major problem for us right now.
I'll check back to see if anyone replies, and maybe (hopefully) to update everyone in a week or so to say "those damn teeth are finally in."