Transitioning/Rebelling

[schoonersam]

Hey All -

Hoping for some feedback on this issue, cause it's kinda starting to stress me out :(.

Many folks say that they transition from their stretchy wrap because it gets too loose over time - this is not our issue.  So I started out wearing my DD in a 'Sleepy Wrap' pretty much from day 2 and we have totally loved it and it's holding up just fine - no funky pressure points for either of us, no back pain, super comfy for mama.  When we started, she'd snuggle right in and sack out.  Right up until a couple of weeks ago.

She is now 16 weeks old and her head control has been excellent for several weeks.  But now when I put her in the wrap she's sitting up straight and looking around (which I believe is a good thing so long as we mind her not getting overstimulated).  But she also seems to rebel against the tight, stretchy snuggliness of the wrap too, straightening out her legs and leaning way back as if to extricate herself from the confines of the wrap.  Obviously this is neither comfortable nor safe and clearly we've lost the soothing properties of the wrap.

If this is her form of rebelling, I guess I'd rather have it now than when she's 15, but it is certainly distressing because I really do love carrying her so much more than using the stroller, never mind the developmental benefits we all know about. 

Has anyone else experienced this? And does anyone have any recommendations for another carrier that will give her a little more freedom but still be nice and comfy for me.  And just fyi, we have tried the Babyhawk Mei Tai and the Ergo - liked the former, didn't like the latter. Also tried the Beco Gemini and liked it, but the pricetag is a little harsh and I feel like I'm leaning away from the more bulky soft-structured carriers.

Would love to hear from you expert babywearers about your experiences!

Thanks,

Samantha

[insidevoice]

My last baby was a leaner.  The only way he was comfortable and content was in a good SSC or with a rock solid carry in a mei tai. It helped if the carrier had a high back to keep him close, but even then there as about a three month period when it was sketchy- about 5-8 months.  It also was a HUGE help when I moved him from a front carry to a back carry- he seemed a lot happier to just watch the world around him. 

If you like the wrap, it might be worth transitioning to a woven wrap at this point.  I do like SSCs, so my go-to advice leans in that direction.  Alternatively, if you are crafty, a mei tai is really easy to make, and you don't have to spend a fortune on it.  I like wrap-style straps on them at that age, but they still fold down nicely without so much bulk. The wide wrap-style strap provides great support for smaller babies as well. 

Your baby may not be rebelling, so much as compensating for the fact that with more size and weight she feels less stable than she did when she was smaller. 

[clovergirl]

It isn't clear to me from your post, but are you wrapping her with her legs inside the Sleepy Wrap or legs out?  If legs in, you may want to try legs out. :)  I would also say if she's awake letting her ride with her arms out is a good thing too so that she doesn't feel as confined.  Just make sure the panel comes up to under her armpits.

Aside from that, you may find that sooner or later as your babe gains more weight that the Sleepy Wrap doesn't lend enough support.  So looking for a sturdier carrier is not necessarily a bad idea.  If the bulky nature of the soft structured carriers doesn't seem like the right thing for you then a mei tai may be a good choice.  Moving on to a woven wrap may be a good option too; with a woven wrap you have different choices in how the wrap is tied and can do many variations for front carries as well as hip and back carries too.  And with a woven wrap you can do a high back carry, which will give your DD a great view of what's going on around her.  I'm also a big fan of ring slings for babies at your DD's age, because you can do a great easy hip carry with them which allow the baby to see a little more then a straight up front carry.  But ring slings don't really allow for a back carry, so if that's something you are interested in for the future it may not be the right fit.

Hope that helps!

[TiffanyToo]

I think your baby as reached a more mature place,  she is interested in the world beyond you. I would suggest a hip carry this will give baby a better view of the world yet allowing for baby to filter and reorganize without stress. I would also suggest you start thinking about German Style woven wrap so that you can start doing back carries.

[GoGoGirl]

3-4 months is a notoriously hard time for babywearing.  That's the time when a lot of moms resort to facing out carries (which really aren't recommended) because their babies freak out about being worn tummy to tummy.  So many people go through it, it's just a phase, and it will pass!

I agree that different positions might help.  You can try a hip carry in a ring sling, pouch, or woven wrap.  Or a high back carry (high enough that the baby can see over your shoulder to watch the world in front of you) would be great too.  You can do high back carries in mei tais and woven wraps.  Do you still have the Babyhawk?  I used it for high back carries with DD at around 4 months and really loved it.

I think 4ish months was also about the time that DD stopped being so willing to be worn in the house.  There were a couple months where she totally protested if I tried wearing her inside--she only wanted to be outside, going for walks and running errands, so she could look at stuff. 

I think all this is developmentally normal...babies around this age are really starting to notice the world around them, and they just want to be able to see it!

[schoonersam]

Wow!  This thread is everything I hoped for and then some! Thanks, you guys...so much to think about and glad to know I'm not the only one dealing with this - I get a little self-conscious around folks when she starts kicking up a fuss.

Anyway, so we don't actually have the Babyhawk, we just tried it on at the expensive store and may have found a gently used one on craigslist (waiting to hear back), but it's good to hear positive feedback about it and mei tais in general, regarding comfort (for parents & baby), stability and versatility.  I think I'll be getting my hands on one really soon.  I'm moderately crafty, but I think making one would take a little too long (and require a little too much brain power) right now ;).

She's definitely interested in the world around her BIG TIME, and I have tried to scooch the wrap around a bit to get her more to the side.  I also, within the last few weeks have started doing legs out (with the inner layers of the wrap all the way out to her knees to keep them up and supported), unless she's sacked out then I froggy her in there.  I have worn her forward facing for a couple of short stints (to avoid overstimulation), but pretty much with her legs in a buddha baby style - knees up, feet together - and she seems okay with it.  As soon as I feel her relax out of "curiosity mode", I turn her back around.

A couple more questions: 

1) For a high back carry (which I feel like she would love, because she seems to like altitude) or any back carry, four months isn't too early?  I feel like folks have said that you aren't supposed to back carry until they're 6 months (but then I look at all the women all over the world who sling their newborns on their backs and go back to working in the field).  Of course, I guess I'm already breaking the forward-facing rule... Anyway, with the mei tai, do you just tie the bottom straps higher up on your rib cage for a high back carry?

2) And for a woven wrap: I am definitely interested and not too intimidated by all the knot-tying, but I am, again, a little put off by the prices I've seen. I saw one today for $250 - yikes! Especially without knowing if I'm gonna like it - I guess I should get my friend to send up her Storkenweige for a test run, huh?

Sorry if I have gone on too long here, I seem to not have that much time to get two hands on the laptop these days, so I gotta cram everything in at once.

Thanks again everyone for so much helpful info - I really appreciate it. (We've only just moved to our neighborhood so my puppy and baby are what I have for friends thus far - and they don't know anything about this stuff.  Hopefully, I find some knowledgable locals in the mom group I'm gonna start going to.) And GoGoGirl - I just realized it's almost October...hope it goes well!

[TiffanyToo]

Originally Posted by schoonersam 

A couple more questions: 

1) For a high back carry (which I feel like she would love, because she seems to like altitude) or any back carry, four months isn't too early?  I feel like folks have said that you aren't supposed to back carry until they're 6 months (but then I look at all the women all over the world who sling their newborns on their backs and go back to working in the field).  Of course, I guess I'm already breaking the forward-facing rule... Anyway, with the mei tai, do you just tie the bottom straps higher up on your rib cage for a high back carry?

A baby that is holding its head up well can be worn in a back carry, newborns in a wrap that is well developed and the wearer can feel baby's breathe across the weare necks is also a do-able carry.

Being more of a wrap person I can't say how a Mei Tai would be worn for a smaller baby. I did not wear my little one in a back carry using a Mei Tai until he was about 18 months.

2) And for a woven wrap: I am definitely interested and not too intimidated by all the knot-tying, but I am, again, a little put off by the prices I've seen. I saw one today for $250 - yikes! Especially without knowing if I'm gonna like it - I guess I should get my friend to send up her Storkenweige for a test run, huh?

Woven wraps are great investments they last through multiple babies are usable from birth through toddlerhood and maintain a high resale value. There are a number of resources for woven wraps craigslist, thebabywearer.com for sale or trade forums, BabywearingSwap on Yahoogroups to name a few. I would suggest you borrow your friends storchenwiege, they are great strong work horse wraps. Also look and see if there are any local babywearing groups near you to help you learn back carries.  

[GoGoGirl]

Originally Posted by schoonersam 

1) For a high back carry (which I feel like she would love, because she seems to like altitude) or any back carry, four months isn't too early?  I feel like folks have said that you aren't supposed to back carry until they're 6 months (but then I look at all the women all over the world who sling their newborns on their backs and go back to working in the field).  Of course, I guess I'm already breaking the forward-facing rule... Anyway, with the mei tai, do you just tie the bottom straps higher up on your rib cage for a high back carry?

The age at which you can start back carrying depends on the carrier.  You can back carry a baby in a woven wrap from the day they're born.  For other carriers though, you have to wait until the baby has full head and upper back control, because the carriers don't support their heads as well.  I started doing back carries with my babyhawk when DD was a little younger than 4 months.  Her head was fine, the issue was more that it was hard for her legs to spread enough to be on my back in that position.  So I'd think that if your DD's legs can spread that far already, it would work.  For a high back carry with a mei tai, you can either tie the waist straps above your boobs, or under your boobs.  I never liked tying them above my boobs because it squashed them, so I just tied them under my boobs.  It looks like this.  DD was 6 months old in that picture, for reference.  You can always shop for used Babyhawks (and other mei tais) on the For Sale or Trade Board at The Babywearer.  I'm actually selling one there right now, and I've seen a lot of them there this week for good prices.

2) And for a woven wrap: I am definitely interested and not too intimidated by all the knot-tying, but I am, again, a little put off by the prices I've seen. I saw one today for $250 - yikes! Especially without knowing if I'm gonna like it - I guess I should get my friend to send up her Storkenweige for a test run, huh?

Are you looking at new or used woven wraps?  Some woven wraps are hard to find, and will sell for high prices, even used (like one was auctioned for $1200 this week).  But that's more for people who are collectors of woven wraps than people who just want one good wrap.  You can easily find a great quality, sturdy woven wrap for $80 if you buy used.  I buy all my wraps on the For Sale or Trade Board at the Babywearer.  A Storch is a great wrap, and if your friend will let you borrow it for a while I'd definitely take her up on that offer!

And GoGoGirl - I just realized it's almost October...hope it goes well!

Thanks!  I still have a few weeks left but I'm getting really excited! 

[schoonersam]

Okay...here's the update: Definitely done with the sleepy wrap, she has NO interest in that anymore.  Got my hands on an Ellaroo MT and have worn it once and love it so far.  Only drawback - the colors...the brown, blue and white stripes are cool, but the reverse side and straps are WHITE - so the countdown to mangy-looking has begun.  It's is made out of a very sturdy canvas-style cotton which I like, but has anybody ever dyed one of these (or even just the straps)?  Also, saw a Rolz&Sassy  gauze wrap in the consignment shop, anybody know anything about this brand (I think they are no longer around).  Found some good reviews on the web and I like the light fabric for summer (I run really hot), but read that it's only 18" wide.  What is a normal width for a good woven wrap?

Will update when I try a back carry.  And prob with more questions about spreading legs...

Thanks!

[GoGoGirl]

I haven't heard of that brand of gauze wrap, but I wouldn't get it.  The average width for a woven wrap is around 28 inches.  18 inches would NOT be safe in back carry...I can't see how that would be enough fabric to both make a seat under your baby's butt, and then still come up high enough on her back to hold her safely.  And honestly, I don't find gauze wraps comfortable at all anyway...they're painful, and bite into your shoulders, as your baby gets bigger (but that wouldn't be a problem for you probably for months yet).

I don't know about dying MT straps, but you could look at The Babywearer forums for more info.  I'd check in the Choosing and Using an Asian Inspired Carrier section and the DIY section, and just search there for dying a MT.  I don't see why it couldn't be done!  I'm glad the MT is working for you so far!