HS for working moms...

[Passionate]

My DD is in kindergarten at a Montessori and I am starting to look at homeschooling to see if it's even an option but my DH (and I) have this notion that HS is only suitable and possible if a parent is home full time.  Anyone know differently?  Right now I only work parttime but in theory should be increasing my hours - but I have my own business so my schedule is sort of flexible (I see clients by hourly appointment and right now work 2 fairly full days a week and piece together some other work in short bursts on other days).

School is increasingly looking like "forcing a round peg into a square hole" with my daughter and I just want to carefully consider all of my options.  I refuse to believe that it is my daughter that is at fault for not fitting in but more likely it's the place we are trying to send her and this school thing we are trying to do that is causing the perpetual upset.  She really does love the learning she does at school and is eager to learn.  But she struggles terribly with much of the social dynamics, the large groups of kids, the discipline she witnesses, etc.  She is a very sensitive soul and takes all the upset around her on herself and internalizes it then lets it all out at home.  Then refuses to go to school at all.  This week I finally found a way to help her go to school on Thursday when we opted to try the much smaller, quieter afternoon class.  She liked that very much.  But I have no idea how being in a class of 7 is going to prepare her for first grade and on.  Maybe it will work out on it's own but then again perhaps it wont' - and then I would be regretting having not looked into homeschooling.  So I am wondering if anyone knows about being parttime HS(assuming I have continued care for her with Grandma while I work).  Maybe Grandma and I can partner on it, I don't know.  I just hear from everyone how HS puts such a burden of responsibility on Mom. 

Any thoughts or experiences or suggestions are greatly appreciated.  I just reserved Mary Griffith's The Homeschooling Handbook from the library.

Thank you,

Linda

[attached2k]

Hi! I am a part time working mom on the weekends and HS my 2nd grader. Been doing it since K. I also have a toddler :-) I am really busy, but we get our school work done and we have plenty of time for activities with other children :-) PM me with any questions!

[bass chick]

I am a f/t working mom and homeschooling my 2 boys (K and Grade 2). It is busy. I have NO time for myself and sometimes I go a little crazy. :lol

[Passionate]

Thank you both for replying - I will say that not having time for myself would be nothing new as part of the reason I am considering HS is because DD is the most velcro-ed little creature.  Separation just does not work well for her and there is no "forcing" it.  Even days when her teacher says she laughs and plays at school (half-day kindergarten in the same class/same teacher for 2 1/2 years now) the degree of acting out at home is astonishing.  She sticks to me like glue whether happy or upset.  Playing on her own is a rare occurrance (altho happening more often lately).  So my take on her being away at school is that she is simply not happy, not adjusting, not exactly thriving in that environment. 

Yesterday at school her small afternoon class of about 7 kids did some kind of play involving an obstacle course in the classroom and there was a fuzzy pretend spider involved somehow.  L went on and on (for several hours!) yesterday after school about how upsetting it was that the teacher touched her with it and she wasn't expecting it and didn't like it.  Her response about it to me was pretty intense.  So I mentioned it to her teacher this morning, as L asked me to, and the teacher was astonished - "L laughed and rolled on the floor laughing - she was having a ton of fun!!"

I feel like I have no clue anymore - I feel like cannot let my guard down and am always working so hard to help her integrate.  So what's the point anymore??  I may as well keep her home if that's where she functions the best.

I don't get much time to myself - she doesn't stay with anyone else very well at all.  Not even Dad (who has his own very short limits of tolerance).  She stays with Grandma while I work 2 days a week but even that has repercussions - temper flareups, acting out, she is not an "easy" child.  I adore her and I do see progress but sending her off to school every day is just feeling like pushing water uphill. 

Linda

[bandgeek]

I'm a single mom working 30 hours a week and I homeschool my kids.  DD has special needs and her home nurses help with the hs'ing, but I do DS's all on my own.  It works ok, but we are just taking it one year at a time.  I realize at some point it may be impossible.  I have to run a pretty tight ship to make it work, but I DO get time to myself.  Oh, and we don't have loads of time to do a million and one field trips and lengthy science projects.  One thing that makes me jealous of all my other hs'ing friends. :-(

[kathymuggle]

I work 15 hours a week.  Overall the pros - extra money and me getting out the house benefits my family more than than the cons (which is schedueling activities around my work hours is not always easy).

[Mere]

Oh, it's totally possible, especially if you own your own business and have flexible hours.  We have always HSed, and it works really well.  I work ~20 hours/week, from home, and I have a wonderful nanny who works two full days.  She does many of the same things I would do with them (library, HS group activities) plus more - she has a different skill set than I do, and they do activities around that skill set a lot of times.  The kids' grandma fills in for the remaining few hours I need each week. 

I don't know if you work from home, but for me, that made the transition of the babysitter much easier.  I was here - upstairs! - but the babysitter helps with homework, makes the snacks, keeps the peace, takes them places, etc.  If they want to see me they certainly can and do, so it's not like the babysitter comes and I disappear for 8 hours. 

[RAED]

We had this sort of acting out and separation problems with both our children to some degree. My ds went happily to pre-school and LOVED it there - didn't want to leave! But when he transitioned to big school it was a total debacle with acting out, temper flares, even less sleep than previously (won't go there in this post!), etc. and there were always things to debrief for hours after school and took 2-3 hours to "come down" from whatever happened at school each and every day. A change to a different school helped some but was not a complete solution even though it was a lovely little school with wonderful teachers/staff/volunteers. HS has been the BEST thing for both ds and dd! Yes I have no time for myself and cannot work now (I did editing while they were in school previously). BUT they are so much happier and I think as this first year settles into a second year I will find that (hope here!) there will be more spaces to have some time for me OR work or even both! (I have no nights either as there are still sleep issues with both).

So I highly recommend HS - especially if you do not have sleep issues but even if you do.

[freegirl23cat]

It is totally possible and depending on what approach you take (unschooling, online, cutriculum) you
msy not need grandmas help @ all. I worked and we unschooled and i found i was actually less stressed
b/c i had way more control over our schedule. You may slso find your dd's anxiety reduces. Also while this may
not seem too responsible to some you can always start her in 1st grade and pull her if it isnt working...orvice versa..
I am about to putmt 2nd grade dd into school bc i sm on hospital bedrest. Preople tell me she'll do better than me....
we,ll see.

Good luck mama!

[Satori]

A lot of families do it, I will be returning to work full time this summer so I will be a single mom HS'ing 2 kids while working full time. If your seeing that level of anxiety in a child so young you might want to look into a condition called Pyroluria. Its a genetic blood disorder that causes a severe deficiency of Zinc and B6 and its calling card is severe anxiety in kids. They often hide it well in public but watch out when they are alone with the one they feel safe with.