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Chitting and Chatting - 9/24 - 10/1 - Page 3

post #41 of 118
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Italiamom View Post

And the hospital...  We got the hospital statement from our insurance company on Saturday.  They're not paying anything.  Not one red cent.  The reason?  With emergency admittance, you're supposed to call a number on the back of the insurance card within 24 hours.  I did call the insurance company within that time to verify that we were at the right hospital.  Apparently I called the *wrong* number on the back of the card.  So even though I spoke with my insurance company, and they knew DD was in the hospital within the appropriate time period, they're not paying because I didn't call the correct 800 number.  $15,000!  I've been crying all weekend, it looks like we might have to get the hospital involved, or possibly even take our insurance company to court.  Great.  DD has full coverage insurance, but because I didn't call the correct phone number when I had already not slept in more than 24 hours, I'm stuck with $15k in new bills.  You would think, too, that when I talked with my insurance and verified that we were at the correct hospital, and said, "I just want to make sure I'm covering all my bases" that they would maybe verify that I'd called the other number, right?  Nope.



I didn't realize when you posted about it that they weren't going to PAY IT!?  OMG.  No, no, no.  There's got to be a way, somehow, to have them cover it.  Get a lawyer, take them to court if you have to.  That's just absurd.  I've been watching Drop Dead Diva and have been absorbing legal talk over the past few weeks, and that is just NOT right.  

post #42 of 118

IM- Appeal, appeal, appeal. We wound up getting stuck with the same amount after DD2's illness as a newborn as well. We appealed the heck out of it, didn't matter in the end but sometimes you can get it covered that way. Insurance is such a scam, that whole ordeal has made me only "slightly* bitter about the state of medical care in the US. 

 

Attempting to get a baby to take a nap, my house is quiet, I'm exhausted because he was up all night with a stuffy nose and now he is wide awake. Can I say that I love my new sitter, today is her first day. She took the girls to school and now is taking DS1 on a walk. And she is no-vax either, I think found my soul mate. I was going to work on my massive pile of work paperwork but the bed is calling my name and for once, I am going to listen. 

post #43 of 118
Quote:
Originally Posted by mamamerle View Post


She has been waking every 4-5 hours previous to this. I'm hoping it wasn't a fluke. I tweaked my back today and could use the rest. greensad.gif


every 4-5 hours is a good stretch - I think she's catching on to the sleeping thing :)

post #44 of 118

Surgery went well.  Thanks for asking.  They ended up bypassing all four arteries going to his heart!  That man has eaten anything and everything he wanted for the better part of his 64 years and this is the result.  I'm glad he got through surgery well, but am not at all confident that he'll make the requisite lifestyle changes to ensure he won't end up in the same place again in a few years. shake.gif
 

 

I know just what you mean about not wanting to go there wrt DTD.  I'm just not in that place at all right now.  I'm happy for you that you're getting some sexy time though.  I'm not even ready for THAT yet.  Nada!  Maybe if DH ever gets his head out of his ass and starts helping me manage a household of two kids, then I might reconsider.

Quote:
Originally Posted by cat13 View Post

 

Erika, how did your FIL's surgery go?

 

As for DTD, I am still too chicken to do it. hide.gif Today I'm officially 6 weeks pp, but I'm just barely starting to feel sexy again, and I'm not interested in having anything get close to my who-ha yet. We have been having some sexy time a little lately, so I'm glad that my head is getting back in the game.

 

 

 

AFM, I'm starting to feel like I'm getting in a good groove at home and taking care of DS. And I've decided to fully enjoy my next two weeks off instead of being sad about going back to work. My folks are visiting, and as soon as they leave, I'm going to set up a mommy date with some new friends that I made from my Lamaze class. 



Michelle: I'm sorry your house has the sickies too.  What misery, especially for the littles.  It just breaks my heart.  That is a total load of crap that your insurance is pulling.  I hope you plan to put up a good fight.  Rolling over and accepting a $15k hospital bill because of a TECHNICALITY is sooo not right!  Give them hell...lots of hell!Cuss.gif


 

Quote:
Originally Posted by Italiamom View Post


AFM -- Both DD and I have colds.  I am absolutely terrified that there will be some kind of complication for her, and that she'll need antibiotics again.  She was on a 10 day course from the hospital at two weeks, and I'm just petrified that she'll get some kind of infection and need them again.  Her gut cannot handle it.  Or worse that she will end up hospitalized again.

And the hospital...  We got the hospital statement from our insurance company on Saturday.  They're not paying anything.  Not one red cent.  The reason?  With emergency admittance, you're supposed to call a number on the back of the insurance card within 24 hours.  I did call the insurance company within that time to verify that we were at the right hospital.  Apparently I called the *wrong* number on the back of the card.  So even though I spoke with my insurance company, and they knew DD was in the hospital within the appropriate time period, they're not paying because I didn't call the correct 800 number.  $15,000!  I've been crying all weekend, it looks like we might have to get the hospital involved, or possibly even take our insurance company to court.  Great.  DD has full coverage insurance, but because I didn't call the correct phone number when I had already not slept in more than 24 hours, I'm stuck with $15k in new bills.  You would think, too, that when I talked with my insurance and verified that we were at the correct hospital, and said, "I just want to make sure I'm covering all my bases" that they would maybe verify that I'd called the other number, right?  Nope.

So between being sick, and the insurance, I've had several panic attacks over the last 48 hours, which doesn't help things.  I wish I could take a triple dose of Nyquil, make a huge hot toddy, and go to bed for a few days.  Not gonna happen, but a mama can dream...



AFM:  As I mentioned above, DH is such a total ass right now.  I've even had dark thoughts of the kids and I being better off without him (I'm not sure I really believe that, though).  I just don't know what to do.  He is incapable of listening to reason right now.  We used to be able to talk things out, but ever since I had my miscarriage last summer, our ability to communicate has completely flown out the window.  I get that he's consumed with worry for his dad, but that doesn't explain why he's been so lax on caring for ME for the past several months.  He was completely absent, emotionally, during my entire pregnancy.  He only interacts with DS2 about once a day and doesn't even hold him daily.  I don't think he even touched him yesterday...not once. He plays with DS1, but that's about it.  He just doesn't consider that being a daddy involves more than playing with blocks and trucks with the boy.  I guess this would be better suited for the complaint thread, but it just doesn't feel like a typical complaint.  It's bigger than that.  We have a problem. 

post #45 of 118

Erica, if you're at that point where you're putting in serious thought to life without your DH, it's time to get some counseling.  Is it something he would consider even?

 

I'm so sorry mama, marital problems are SO rough greensad.gif

post #46 of 118
Yeah, I've thought about counseling. I just haven't done anything about it. It kind of makes me feel like a failure because we can't even manage a happy marriage without help. But, yes, I think we might be at that point. He would probably be open to it. He had been married before and I know he and his ex saw a counselor before they split up. That was different though. She had an affair and was mentally ill. 

I just miss my husband and the relationship we used to have. He just seems...gone. And I'm very lonely. 

Quote:
Originally Posted by Italiamom View Post

Erica, if you're at that point where you're putting in serious thought to life without your DH, it's time to get some counseling.  Is it something he would consider even?

 

I'm so sorry mama, marital problems are SO rough greensad.gif

post #47 of 118

italiamom,

check to see if there is a "health advocate" company through the employer that you get the insurance through.

http://www.healthadvocate.com/

 

they got my midwife covered, genetic testing paid and now working on the ambulance ride that the insurance wont pay.  

post #48 of 118


 

Quote:
Originally Posted by elove View Post

italiamom,

check to see if there is a "health advocate" company through the employer that you get the insurance through.

http://www.healthadvocate.com/

 

they got my midwife covered, genetic testing paid and now working on the ambulance ride that the insurance wont pay.  



I checked, and sadly DH's company isn't a member.  Before calling the insurance company, though, he contacted his HR department head.  She is going to review our appeals letter, and will send it via Human Resources at his company.  She said we could mail it ourselves as well, but that if she sends it then the insurance company will have the additional pressure to cover the claim, knowing that HR is also already involved.  Hopefully it works...


 

Quote:
Originally Posted by egmaranian View Post

Yeah, I've thought about counseling. I just haven't done anything about it. It kind of makes me feel like a failure because we can't even manage a happy marriage without help.


Asking for help is not an indicator of failure.  Love is worth so much more than pride...  You wouldn't look down on a drowning man for letting someone lend him a hand, right?  It is the same for so many things in life, both physical and emotional.  People need help sometimes.  They need help moving, help with a meal or shower postpartum, and help with marriage.  Bring it up as gently as you can.  Let your DH know what you expressed here -- that you love him, and want to keep him around.  That you are willing to swallow whatever pride you need to in order to save something you love.  It's a hard thing to ask...

 


Edited by Italiamom - 9/26/11 at 11:33am
post #49 of 118

Michelle, I'm so sad to hear you're having Insurance issues. I hope involving HR helps to get it sorted out. Another reason to hate this messed up health care system.

 

AFM

I finally posted my birth story on the VBAC forum. You can read it here. It is quite long, and I haven't added any pics to it yet, as I'm squeezing in time online before the boys get up from their naps.

post #50 of 118

PL- It's impossible in our house to prevent the little ones from catching what the siblings have. I've learned just to roll with it. This is DS2's 3rd cold already, nothing I can do about it. I am fairly laid back about illness, I know what to watch for and when to seek help, I mostly go with my gut, it always tells me if something is off.

 

 

Erika-Glad to hear the surgery went well. I'm in a similar spot with my DH. It is rough. hug2.gif We were mostly good (his work has always been a sore spot with me so we've always had that) until this pg. It has gotten better, he is trying some now but I don't know, I'm hurt and somedays I do wonder if it is all worth it. The very small amount he engages with the kids is good but we have never come first, work always has, and the second an email comes up or anything, he just checks out of whatever he was doing with them. I'm a big girl, I can take care of myself, they can't. I get the loneliness, that is one of the hardest parts. I'l second the counseling, I need to look into it for us as well. 

 

 

Probably because of above mentioned issues, DTD is the very last thing that is on my mind. DH needs to schedule his V appointment as well. 

 

 

post #51 of 118

Well I just got home from the IUD placement, it wasn't that bad. Basically, it was a speculum, and the MW had to open my cervix a bit, but it wasn't painful, but it was uncomfortable. No big deal, but the thing that opened my cervix up a bit made me bleed, and there was a small puddle of blood from it, and some bright red on my pad since. But that's not bothering me. Afterwards I cramped for a while, but not a lot. If I use my pelvic floor muscles too much I can feel a bit uncomfortable, but I don't know if that's because I can tell its in there or because of the changes. So far I haven't had any problems with the placement or having it in, so seems like all's good. And the MW said I didn't need to wait for DTD again, however with the discomfort I'm not exactly in the mood, and I'd like to check my cervix before I go poking at it with somebody else's body parts, y'know?

 

I officially NIPd today. I didn't nurse in front of people when I went out before (because of physical comfort, didn't care about the people around me.) But while I was waiting for the MW to show up (she wasn't in the office when I got there) I nursed in the security room, and the lady running it just went on with her work. Then I nursed at Joe's Crab Shack during lunch. I don't even think anybody noticed then. Didn't have any issues, and the security lady and I were talking about her kids (who are almost my age) while I nursed.

post #52 of 118

Thanks kylaskye - I'm getting Mirena put in tomorrow and I'm SO nervous!!! I hate, hate, HATE getting pelvic exams. I just had a baby, you'd think I'd be used to it, but I am just as anxious about it as I was before having a baby. UGH!!!! If I didn't need some kind of birth control from the doc I know I would skip it. (Which is how I ended up pregnant in the first place, to be honest) whistling.gif

 

Anyways, I haven't got much computer time in the last couple of days, mine is getting SO slow and old and it just drives me nuts!!! But, best wishes to all the families with sick babies!!! I'm sure once Cara is in daycare she'll be getting sick a lot!

 

And, we named DD Caroline Melody. As I was going through the Starbucks drive-thru the other day for a desperately needed caffeine boost, I realized that shortening her first and middle names would make her CaraMel. And, I can just picture her using that nickname when she is a teenager just to get on my last nerve, LOL.

post #53 of 118
Thanks for the iud info. I'm pretty sure I'll be doing it in the next couple of weeks and it's good to know what to expect. 

Congrats on NIPing!  It gets easier and more natural feeling every time you do it. 

Quote:
Originally Posted by kylaskye View Post

Well I just got home from the IUD placement, it wasn't that bad. Basically, it was a speculum, and the MW had to open my cervix a bit, but it wasn't painful, but it was uncomfortable. No big deal, but the thing that opened my cervix up a bit made me bleed, and there was a small puddle of blood from it, and some bright red on my pad since. But that's not bothering me. Afterwards I cramped for a while, but not a lot. If I use my pelvic floor muscles too much I can feel a bit uncomfortable, but I don't know if that's because I can tell its in there or because of the changes. So far I haven't had any problems with the placement or having it in, so seems like all's good. And the MW said I didn't need to wait for DTD again, however with the discomfort I'm not exactly in the mood, and I'd like to check my cervix before I go poking at it with somebody else's body parts, y'know?

 

I officially NIPd today. I didn't nurse in front of people when I went out before (because of physical comfort, didn't care about the people around me.) But while I was waiting for the MW to show up (she wasn't in the office when I got there) I nursed in the security room, and the lady running it just went on with her work. Then I nursed at Joe's Crab Shack during lunch. I don't even think anybody noticed then. Didn't have any issues, and the security lady and I were talking about her kids (who are almost my age) while I nursed.

post #54 of 118
I've NIP a few times and it has been surprisingly ok. the only really awkward moment was when DH opened the door to our motel room and there was a lady there about to knock. It surprised me so much that I said WHOA! and scrambled to cover instinctively. The woman got all embarrassed and uncomfortable, but that's because of how I reacted.
post #55 of 118
Thread Starter 

Erica and Peony - hug.gif on the relationship issues.  I hope you guys can find some solutions quickly.  It's tough to do this WITH somebody, I can't imagine feeling alone.  

 

IUDs - Good luck everyone!  I had a miserable experience with mine, so I hope all of you have great experiences with yours.  Just, if anything seems wrong, tell somebody!  Don't live with pain or discomfort.

 

NIP - Yay!  So glad to see so many mamas feeling comfortable out there in the open!  I srsly haven't gone anywhere with DS yet except the ped's office.  LOL.  Soon enough, soon enough.  

 

AFM - I really hope I'm not coming down with a cold.  I feel sniffly.  I thought my double ear and sinus infection and pinkeye at the 11th hour were supposed to grant me asylum from sickness for at LEAST the first year of this kids life.  Bah. 

post #56 of 118

Erica & Peony I too send hug2.gif I can't imagine having to deal with relationship issues on top of everything else. I hope you both get to see some improvement soon.

 

My stupid email account isn't working. I've had to send an account recovery request and it said it can take 24 hours to be reviewed. GRRRRRRR Worst thing is I don't have any way to recover some of the email addresses or let some of the people know I can't access them so they can resend them to another account.

 

On a brighter note i have a MW appointment this afternoon so I'll get to find out just how much weight my chunky little boy has gained in the last 2 weeks.

post #57 of 118

I just finished reading through all of your posts.  I really feel for those of you who are having relationship issues.  Getting help from an outside source, like a counselor, can be really helpful!  I think that seeking help shows a commitment to the relationship, not a failureorngtongue.gif.  DD has had a cold for the past week.  I am hoping that DS doesn't get it.   i think maybe we are okay on that front--he has been a little snorty, but not too bad.  

 

AFM:  I had a friend visiting.  I was great to see her and her son; I haven't seen her in 4 years!  Right after she left we took a mini vacation.  We went to a yurt for a couple of nights and then stayed in a cabin for another couple of nights.  It was really nice.  We like to go camping and do other such outdoor activities, but did not do much this summer due to DS's impending arrival and then his birth.  During the trip, DP and I had our first PP lovin.  It was actually really good--I was surprised as it took a while after DD to enjoy it, but I tore with Dd and not DS, so maybe that's why.  Well, I was going to say more, but DS needs me--gotta go.

post #58 of 118

earth mama, I can't wait to go camping but I have to say that I'm a little nervous to go with DS. Maybe I should try camping in a cabin first to ease my way back into it! 

post #59 of 118
Hey there!

First... Erica, there is nothing to be ashamed about in needing a third party to help you and your husband in your relationship. I know it can feel like that, but really...every relationship has rocky patches, and when you need someone elses ears and eyes...it can really save a relationship from dissolution. Dh and I had a REALLY rough patch last year, and we were lucky that we were able to literally WALK through it. We walked, talked and talked and cried and screamed and walked and made love in nature...got caught a few times...and walked and talked and walked and walked.....it took MONTHS of daily commitment. months. But we started it knowing it was a heal or dissolve situation. We really both wanted to heal, and with him being a willing therapist, and me with my years of psych background...we were able to untangle some really hard issues. Without that ability *(we do have a very competent 15 year old boy who was willing to be mr. mom every night for 4 months....seriously...he was amazing...and willing.) to walk every night together....from about 9 to 3 a.m.....every night....we would have needed regular therapy to hash those issues out. And...we would have done it. It just happened that we were able to really fix the problem. For real. We fell totally in love all over again...not that we weren't in love all along, but...when things get too stressful...too pulled apart...tooo......uh.....NOT o.k.....it's easy to feel distant. Apart.

It's funny...last year, we were in crisis mode....and now, we are happily in baby mode.

Don't put it off. A good therapist can be a marriage saver. DH does do phone therapy as well and we are working on his online practice to supplement his physical practice...gotta get skype in line...but, it's something that more and more therapists are offering to busy people. DH is of the opinion that a good therapist should be looking to SOLVE the problem...not just keep you in therapy forever. So....do some research maybe....and I'm sending you mounds of loving support. It can get better mama....it really can.

Michelle!!! I would appeal it. You called. You asked. They are supposed to HELP you....not screw you! Ugg....so terrible. Wishing I could send you a hug that you could feel....I know how awful financial crisis can feel...I'm learning to remember that $$$$ is something that almost WANTS to be a problem....but in the end, they really can't do much about it...well, they can harass you....but that's about it. Unless it is the blood suckers from student loans....ugg....We are a month behind in the mortgage, so they love to send people out to assess the propertys worth...as if they would really foreclose for us being a month behind. They won't...so I just smile and say "Well...I'm sure we will catch up soon." What else can I do? I hope you are able to find some intelligence in customer service at the higher level....sending hopeful thoughts!!!

baby boy erections....as a mother of 5 living boys.....these are no joke. They happen. They never stop happening. Someone once asked me what it was like to have five sons....and I truthfully answered "Well....there is a lot of penis play in my house". Boys get erections, and they enjoy them once they are aware of them. I never had a problem with that...I taught them that it was fine to touch, but that it was a private event. So, not something to share with other brothers or other people. Their personal enjoyment. Didn't want to end up with kids who thought pleasure was something to be ashamed of. Baby erections are soooo normal...just take it with a grain of salt. The other day, I had our Ali V. naked and my 10 year old said "Aren't you afraid she will pee on you?" and I smiled and said "Nope...she's not a boy...so the pee will just go down...not up. And then...she peed so forcefully that it sprayed UP....and all over me. wow. never mind. gender DOESN'T matter...my 8 year old was SPOT ON about that. Girls can pee up too. wow.

I guess I just never tried it myself....

Ferdinand is totally in love with Ali V. The boys aren't surprised about this, because Ferdi loooooves women. He likes to lick her and acts protective of her....silly pup!

Love to all...must nurse this little miss!
post #60 of 118

So sorry to all those with relationship problems.  Me and DH have def had our share but, thank God, we're doing much better these days.

 

Michelle - like everybody else said I'd appeal the heck out of that!  that's crazy!

 

Seems like more and more people are popping up with the sniffles.  Hope everyone gets to feeling better soon.

 

Not much going on at the home front here.  DH has really stepped up here lately and trying to help with the girls.  He actually got up to get Ada back to sleep this morning so I could go back to bed...WITHOUT BEING ASKED!  I couldn't believe it.  DD1 is finally getting used to sleeping alone.  I'm so glad...it was really hard to handle both of them crying in the middle of the night.  We are still mostly having to lay down with her to get her to sleep but it's so much easier with her staying put and quiet all night in her own bed.  And there was a miracle in our house last night...we were all in bed by 9:15!!!  It was wonderful!  DD1 is starting to actually prefer her daddy to lay her down, another miracle.  I'm so glad.  While he's getting her down I can get Ada down and then we actually get to go to bed together.  This has been working most of the time anyway. 

 

Ada got a new activity playmat, so far she loves it!  She actually laid on her back and looked and kicked and cooed for over 45 minutes!!!  I could tell she was getting a little tired, as she gets a little fussy, I popped the paci in her mouth and she fell asleep on her own.  This never happens!  So later on today after I fed her, she was awake again, laid her down on it and she fell asleep again.  She must think this thing is super comfy b/c if I lay her down on her chair that she usually sleeps in during the day she cries.  Craziest thing...but hey, if she's happy, I'm happy.

 

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