First... Erica, there is nothing to be ashamed about in needing a third party to help you and your husband in your relationship. I know it can feel like that, but really...every relationship has rocky patches, and when you need someone elses ears and eyes...it can really save a relationship from dissolution. Dh and I had a REALLY rough patch last year, and we were lucky that we were able to literally WALK through it. We walked, talked and talked and cried and screamed and walked and made love in nature...got caught a few times...and walked and talked and walked and walked.....it took MONTHS of daily commitment. months. But we started it knowing it was a heal or dissolve situation. We really both wanted to heal, and with him being a willing therapist, and me with my years of psych background...we were able to untangle some really hard issues. Without that ability *(we do have a very competent 15 year old boy who was willing to be mr. mom every night for 4 months....seriously...he was amazing...and willing.) to walk every night together....from about 9 to 3 a.m.....every night....we would have needed regular therapy to hash those issues out. And...we would have done it. It just happened that we were able to really fix the problem. For real. We fell totally in love all over again...not that we weren't in love all along, but...when things get too stressful...too pulled apart...tooo......uh.....NOT o.k.....it's easy to feel distant. Apart.
It's funny...last year, we were in crisis mode....and now, we are happily in baby mode.
Don't put it off. A good therapist can be a marriage saver. DH does do phone therapy as well and we are working on his online practice to supplement his physical practice...gotta get skype in line...but, it's something that more and more therapists are offering to busy people. DH is of the opinion that a good therapist should be looking to SOLVE the problem...not just keep you in therapy forever. So....do some research maybe....and I'm sending you mounds of loving support. It can get better mama....it really can.
Michelle!!! I would appeal it. You called. You asked. They are supposed to HELP you....not screw you! Ugg....so terrible. Wishing I could send you a hug that you could feel....I know how awful financial crisis can feel...I'm learning to remember that $$$$ is something that almost WANTS to be a problem....but in the end, they really can't do much about it...well, they can harass you....but that's about it. Unless it is the blood suckers from student loans....ugg....We are a month behind in the mortgage, so they love to send people out to assess the propertys worth...as if they would really foreclose for us being a month behind. They won't...so I just smile and say "Well...I'm sure we will catch up soon." What else can I do? I hope you are able to find some intelligence in customer service at the higher level....sending hopeful thoughts!!!
baby boy erections....as a mother of 5 living boys.....these are no joke. They happen. They never stop happening. Someone once asked me what it was like to have five sons....and I truthfully answered "Well....there is a lot of penis play in my house". Boys get erections, and they enjoy them once they are aware of them. I never had a problem with that...I taught them that it was fine to touch, but that it was a private event. So, not something to share with other brothers or other people. Their personal enjoyment. Didn't want to end up with kids who thought pleasure was something to be ashamed of. Baby erections are soooo normal...just take it with a grain of salt. The other day, I had our Ali V. naked and my 10 year old said "Aren't you afraid she will pee on you?" and I smiled and said "Nope...she's not a boy...so the pee will just go down...not up. And then...she peed so forcefully that it sprayed UP....and all over me. wow. never mind. gender DOESN'T matter...my 8 year old was SPOT ON about that. Girls can pee up too. wow.
I guess I just never tried it myself....
Ferdinand is totally in love with Ali V. The boys aren't surprised about this, because Ferdi loooooves women. He likes to lick her and acts protective of her....silly pup!
Love to all...must nurse this little miss!
Thanks for the extra info about the baby erections. That is pretty much how I intended to deal with them as he got older, too. Such great reassurance. Funny about Ali V's peeing on you, sorry. I just never thought about that.
AFM: I got a letter for jury duty. Law in Iowa says I'm exempt if I provide a letter stating I'm the full time care provider and breastfeeding an infant. I find the whole thing kind of funny, because I just get the ability to be exempt and I get summoned. (And they addressed it to my maiden name, I've been married since February.) Now to figure out if they need a note from a doctor or just a letter from me.