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Chitting and Chatting - 9/24 - 10/1 - Page 4

post #61 of 118
Quote:
Originally Posted by Emerging butterfly View Post

Hey there!

First... Erica, there is nothing to be ashamed about in needing a third party to help you and your husband in your relationship. I know it can feel like that, but really...every relationship has rocky patches, and when you need someone elses ears and eyes...it can really save a relationship from dissolution. Dh and I had a REALLY rough patch last year, and we were lucky that we were able to literally WALK through it. We walked, talked and talked and cried and screamed and walked and made love in nature...got caught a few times...and walked and talked and walked and walked.....it took MONTHS of daily commitment. months. But we started it knowing it was a heal or dissolve situation. We really both wanted to heal, and with him being a willing therapist, and me with my years of psych background...we were able to untangle some really hard issues. Without that ability *(we do have a very competent 15 year old boy who was willing to be mr. mom every night for 4 months....seriously...he was amazing...and willing.) to walk every night together....from about 9 to 3 a.m.....every night....we would have needed regular therapy to hash those issues out. And...we would have done it. It just happened that we were able to really fix the problem. For real. We fell totally in love all over again...not that we weren't in love all along, but...when things get too stressful...too pulled apart...tooo......uh.....NOT o.k.....it's easy to feel distant. Apart.

It's funny...last year, we were in crisis mode....and now, we are happily in baby mode.

Don't put it off. A good therapist can be a marriage saver. DH does do phone therapy as well and we are working on his online practice to supplement his physical practice...gotta get skype in line...but, it's something that more and more therapists are offering to busy people. DH is of the opinion that a good therapist should be looking to SOLVE the problem...not just keep you in therapy forever. So....do some research maybe....and I'm sending you mounds of loving support. It can get better mama....it really can.

Michelle!!! I would appeal it. You called. You asked. They are supposed to HELP you....not screw you! Ugg....so terrible. Wishing I could send you a hug that you could feel....I know how awful financial crisis can feel...I'm learning to remember that $$$$ is something that almost WANTS to be a problem....but in the end, they really can't do much about it...well, they can harass you....but that's about it. Unless it is the blood suckers from student loans....ugg....We are a month behind in the mortgage, so they love to send people out to assess the propertys worth...as if they would really foreclose for us being a month behind. They won't...so I just smile and say "Well...I'm sure we will catch up soon." What else can I do? I hope you are able to find some intelligence in customer service at the higher level....sending hopeful thoughts!!!

baby boy erections....as a mother of 5 living boys.....these are no joke. They happen. They never stop happening. Someone once asked me what it was like to have five sons....and I truthfully answered "Well....there is a lot of penis play in my house". Boys get erections, and they enjoy them once they are aware of them. I never had a problem with that...I taught them that it was fine to touch, but that it was a private event. So, not something to share with other brothers or other people. Their personal enjoyment. Didn't want to end up with kids who thought pleasure was something to be ashamed of. Baby erections are soooo normal...just take it with a grain of salt. The other day, I had our Ali V. naked and my 10 year old said "Aren't you afraid she will pee on you?" and I smiled and said "Nope...she's not a boy...so the pee will just go down...not up. And then...she peed so forcefully that it sprayed UP....and all over me. wow. never mind. gender DOESN'T matter...my 8 year old was SPOT ON about that. Girls can pee up too. wow.

I guess I just never tried it myself....

Ferdinand is totally in love with Ali V. The boys aren't surprised about this, because Ferdi loooooves women. He likes to lick her and acts protective of her....silly pup!

Love to all...must nurse this little miss!


Thanks for the extra info about the baby erections. That is pretty much how I intended to deal with them as he got older, too. Such great reassurance. Funny about Ali V's peeing on you, sorry. I just never thought about that.

 

AFM: I got a letter for jury duty. Law in Iowa says I'm exempt if I provide a letter stating I'm the full time care provider and breastfeeding an infant. I find the whole thing kind of funny, because I just get the ability to be exempt and I get summoned. (And they addressed it to my maiden name, I've been married since February.) Now to figure out if they need a note from a doctor or just a letter from me.

 

post #62 of 118
Quote:
Originally Posted by cat13 View Post

earth mama, I can't wait to go camping but I have to say that I'm a little nervous to go with DS. Maybe I should try camping in a cabin first to ease my way back into it! 



I camped for the first time with DD when she was about 3.5-4 months old.  I would have camped with DS, but it has been getting cold here at night and even colder in the mountains.  I was a bit uncomfortable with DS being only 7 weeks and DD most likely sleeping on her own (might be too cold).  I have done 2 things for camping--we have zipped 2 sleeping bags together and DD slept with me in that and I also recently bought a sleeping bag wedge called a sweetie pie doubler from here http://functionaldesign.net/about.htm .  I just looked and it looks like they still have expanders and summer weight doublers available.  The doubler works great.  This is what I used for myself and DS.  I just make sure the keep the sleeping bag below his face and where something warm on my top.  He also prefered to have a prefold to lay on rather than the nylon.  Camping with kids is great, just take a little prep and adjustment to make it really fun for them.  DD loves camping and generally being outdoors thumb.gif  We have even done a multi-day backpack trip with DD it was also fun.

post #63 of 118
Quote:
Originally Posted by earth-mama View Post





I camped for the first time with DD when she was about 3.5-4 months old.  I would have camped with DS, but it has been getting cold here at night and even colder in the mountains.  I was a bit uncomfortable with DS being only 7 weeks and DD most likely sleeping on her own (might be too cold).  I have done 2 things for camping--we have zipped 2 sleeping bags together and DD slept with me in that and I also recently bought a sleeping bag wedge called a sweetie pie doubler from here http://functionaldesign.net/about.htm .  I just looked and it looks like they still have expanders and summer weight doublers available.  The doubler works great.  This is what I used for myself and DS.  I just make sure the keep the sleeping bag below his face and where something warm on my top.  He also prefered to have a prefold to lay on rather than the nylon.  Camping with kids is great, just take a little prep and adjustment to make it really fun for them.  DD loves camping and generally being outdoors thumb.gif  We have even done a multi-day backpack trip with DD it was also fun.


I never heard of those, that is cool! I might try that out if we end up moving back to the Northwest, but right now we have the opposite problem. The places I like to go camping around here are so hot during the day. Which makes me wonder, at what age can babies stand being in the heat? Obviously at only 6 weeks, he's too young, but I wonder when I can take River to the beach during the day and spend a few hours there?

 

post #64 of 118

Today I got sick and tired of having to wait for Dusty so I could do things. We had errands to run and he got called into work. Gah. I haven't driven in months - I couldn't fit behind the wheel at the end of my pregnancy, he prefers to drive. Plus, I was told not to drive after the section and I always sit in the back with Charlie.

But. My culture came back from my belly and I had to go fill my Rx for the abx, the cat has fleas so I had to go get poison for her and I wanted some eggs.

 

So we went.

 

And it was fine. He sleeps in the carseat, he slept in my K'tan. I got to show him off and even bought some cookies. Feels good to be out of the house! :)

post #65 of 118
Quote:
Originally Posted by egmaranian View Post

Yeah, I've thought about counseling. I just haven't done anything about it. It kind of makes me feel like a failure because we can't even manage a happy marriage without help. But, yes, I think we might be at that point. He would probably be open to it. He had been married before and I know he and his ex saw a counselor before they split up. That was different though. She had an affair and was mentally ill. 

I just miss my husband and the relationship we used to have. He just seems...gone. And I'm very lonely. 

 

I somehow missed this the other day.  My husband and i have been together 10 years- and seen a marriage counseolr together about 4 different periods of time.  It has helped us a LOT.  He acted like a complete ass last night and im still not speaking to him - it hurts so much when you feel someone has changed and they go back to behaving in a way you are so not ok with.  i was also looking for a place to post - but honestly still too angry to go into it. I feel for you reading your post- It is awful raising your children under the cloud of a marriage that isnt doing well.    Bottom line, I would very much recommend a therapist - it can help understand where each other is coming from and heal wounds
 

 

post #66 of 118

I'm not sure this deserves its own thread, so I'll ask here.

 

Does anyone else feel their bewbs refilling with milk?

 

I get an ache behind my nipples about 5-10 minutes after feeding that lasts about 20 minutes. Its a weird sensation to describe, kind of like a dull ache but not actually sore. I'm pretty sure its just my milk refilling, because if I try to nurse while they ache DS2 doesn't get much, but if I wait until it stops he can get another full feed out of them. He is on his 3 week growth spurt and feeding every hour yesterday and today, so I barely have time to refill before he is latched on again. With the ache in between I'm getting to the point where I'm like "seriously, you want to eat AGAIN!" I know he'll be back to normal in another day or so, and this growth spurt is a good thing.

 

So just curious if its only me, or does anyone else get a refilling feeling.

post #67 of 118
Thread Starter 

During growth spurts, yes, I do get that feeling!!  I wonder if it's b/c they spend more time completely draining the boob?  I don't normally feel it otherwise though.  I have to grab my boobs to figure out which one I used last, lol.

post #68 of 118
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lynann View Post

I'm not sure this deserves its own thread, so I'll ask here.

 

Does anyone else feel their bewbs refilling with milk?

 

I get an ache behind my nipples about 5-10 minutes after feeding that lasts about 20 minutes. Its a weird sensation to describe, kind of like a dull ache but not actually sore. I'm pretty sure its just my milk refilling, because if I try to nurse while they ache DS2 doesn't get much, but if I wait until it stops he can get another full feed out of them. He is on his 3 week growth spurt and feeding every hour yesterday and today, so I barely have time to refill before he is latched on again. With the ache in between I'm getting to the point where I'm like "seriously, you want to eat AGAIN!" I know he'll be back to normal in another day or so, and this growth spurt is a good thing.

 

So just curious if its only me, or does anyone else get a refilling feeling.


Lyn, I get that feeling.  It is a pretty weird sensation!

 

I have my 6-week checkup today so we're taking the day off of schooling.  That means I finally have some time to post....woohoo!  This thread is pretty long and I basically just read this last page, so please forgive me for not responding to individual posts!?

 

I'm nervous to go to my appt this afternoon.  I think I have some prolapse.  No, I know I have some prolapse, I just don't know how bad it is or what we'll do about it.  I was planning to get the Paraguard IUD, but I'm not sure if she'll do it now.  I'm also seriously ready for sex, so I hope I'm cleared for it.  I've only waited because of the prolapse.

 

On a happier note.....my cousin, who is also my best friend, had baby #6 last week.  This was her first homebirth and I am so, so glad she was at home as the baby was breech.  The hospitals around here would have automatically done a c-section.  Her midwife has delivered many breech babies and was totally comfortable with letting her deliver at home.  They never find out the gender until birth, so we were super excited to hear that it was a girl!  She and I are only 3 months apart in age and have always been best friends, so we hoped that this would be another girl so she and Olivia would have the chance to grow up best friends as we did.  We're going for a very brief visit this afternoon to see the baby and to drop off the newborn clothes Olivia has outgrown.  (We've decided that we are definitely done having kids.)  Note to self, remember to take my camera so I can get pictures of their first meeting.  LOL

 

I'm off to see what else I have missed around here.

 

post #69 of 118
Quote:
Originally Posted by Baby_Cakes View Post

During growth spurts, yes, I do get that feeling!!  I wonder if it's b/c they spend more time completely draining the boob?  I don't normally feel it otherwise though.  I have to grab my boobs to figure out which one I used last, lol.



I regularly feel myself up before feeding Liam. Easiest way for me to remember, and if they feel about the same it's pretty much a toss-up.

 

I'm still bleeding from getting the IUD put in on monday. It's died down, but I was wondering how normal that was. The MW needed to open up my cervix a bit to get it in there, so I'm thinking it's fine.

 

 

On a funnier note: DH just tried putting a footed sleeper on Liam sideways. Made me laugh.

post #70 of 118
Quote:
Originally Posted by Baby_Cakes View Post

I have to grab my boobs to figure out which one I used last, lol.



I do that, too! LOL Actually, I used to do that. Now since I'm feeding an infant and a toddler, it's a little different. I'm not leaking like last time and such, but they're both getting plenty and DS2 is growing like a weed, so I'm trying not to be concerned.

post #71 of 118
Quote:
Originally Posted by *Jessica* View Post

Lyn, I get that feeling.  It is a pretty weird sensation!

 


I'm so glad I'm not the only one who gets this.

 

Carrie, I wish it was only during a growth spurt, but I seem to be getting it all the time. It is more noticeable right now as we are on day 2 of the 3 week growth spurt feed-a-thon. I'm having to nurse 30-40 minutes of every hour, and I'm so beyond exhausted. DS2 is asleep right now, but he is due to wake up any second since its been over 30 minutes since he last ate.

 

I was Skypeing with my mum this morning and she keeps trying to get me to supplement, since DS2 is so big. She doesn't even mean formula, she means a tiny amount of solids. She did that with me at a few weeks old since I was a big baby, and hungry all the time, and she thinks I should do it too. I keep trying to help her understand he only needs my milk, and the growth spurts are normal behavior. I dread what she'll be like when she visits in November and sees how much he eats throughout the day. He'll only be 8 weeks when she gets here, so I know he'll still be eating all day long.

 

post #72 of 118
Quote:
Originally Posted by kylaskye View Post

On a funnier note: DH just tried putting a footed sleeper on Liam sideways. Made me laugh.

lol.gif I almost spit Cream of Wheat all over the screen from this image, but it was worth it. orngbiggrin.gif And yeah, I almost always feel myself up before feeding, too. Unless I'm left with one rock-hard boob from the last feeding, it's not always obvious.
post #73 of 118

Thanks everyone for helping to validate my feelings of upset over DH's attitude/behavior.  I know you are all right about counseling being a good thing.  I just need to figure out how to bring it up to him and then actually find a therapist.  He has actually been a little better the last couple of days.  Not helping around the house any more than usual, but it seems like he's "seeing" me again.  It's been a long time. He's a good guy and I truly do love him.  I think part of our problem is that we started our life together and our family as very established adult individuals and somehow bringing kids into the picture really blurred the lines of what our lives are supposed to look like now.  I'm 35 and he is 38.  We just got married 5 years ago.  We were both set in our ways/routines and he is just being very slow to learn that our life is a different animal now that we have the littles.  I hope we can figure it out soon.

 

 

post #74 of 118
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lynann View Post

I'm so glad I'm not the only one who gets this.

 

Carrie, I wish it was only during a growth spurt, but I seem to be getting it all the time. It is more noticeable right now as we are on day 2 of the 3 week growth spurt feed-a-thon. I'm having to nurse 30-40 minutes of every hour, and I'm so beyond exhausted. DS2 is asleep right now, but he is due to wake up any second since its been over 30 minutes since he last ate.

 

I was Skypeing with my mum this morning and she keeps trying to get me to supplement, since DS2 is so big. She doesn't even mean formula, she means a tiny amount of solids. She did that with me at a few weeks old since I was a big baby, and hungry all the time, and she thinks I should do it too. I keep trying to help her understand he only needs my milk, and the growth spurts are normal behavior. I dread what she'll be like when she visits in November and sees how much he eats throughout the day. He'll only be 8 weeks when she gets here, so I know he'll still be eating all day long.

 


I wonder if you notice all the time because of how in tune you are with your body. That Pink Kit seemed to really get you attentive.

 

And good luck with your mom! My brain says that if he's eating all day and you don't mind then why supplement? But then, he's a new baby and that's what he's supposed to do.

 

post #75 of 118
Quote:
Originally Posted by egmaranian View Post

Thanks everyone for helping to validate my feelings of upset over DH's attitude/behavior.  I know you are all right about counseling being a good thing.  I just need to figure out how to bring it up to him and then actually find a therapist.  He has actually been a little better the last couple of days.  Not helping around the house any more than usual, but it seems like he's "seeing" me again.  It's been a long time. He's a good guy and I truly do love him.  I think part of our problem is that we started our life together and our family as very established adult individuals and somehow bringing kids into the picture really blurred the lines of what our lives are supposed to look like now.  I'm 35 and he is 38.  We just got married 5 years ago.  We were both set in our ways/routines and he is just being very slow to learn that our life is a different animal now that we have the littles.  I hope we can figure it out soon.

 

 


Erica, I think you make a good point about the resistance to change...DH is 38 and I am 30 and I have had that issue with him sometimes too.  I think for women, we really have no choice, our lives WILL change when we get pregnant/have kids.  But for men, it's not like that in such an extreme way. 

 

So here's our latest thing: our pediatrician is kind of annoying and I think we're going to look for a new one.  We had lukewarm feelings toward him before but I think they have turned cold, LOL.

 

We took Anton in today because he's had a cold, seemed to be getting over it, but has been fussier than usual for the past few days so we just wanted to get him checked out and make sure nothing serious was going on.  The pediatrician has this obsession with "using the breast as a pacifier" as if it is the most horrible thing a women could ever do.  He always brings it up.  That was his first suggestion as to what could be making Anton fussy.  Which doesn't even make sense to me...I mean, if I were pacifying him, he wouldn't be fussy, right?  He always wants to know how often he eats and for how many minutes, which I honestly don't even pay a ton of attention to, and it varies anyway.  It's like he thinks I'll ruin the kid if I don't yank him off the boob after 12 minutes or something. 

 

Then he said, "maybe you're not making enough milk."  But he had told me Anton's weight gain was fine, and I reminded him of that, and told him that when I pump I tend to get a good amount, so how could that be?  He shrugged and changed the subject.

 

He also hates cats for some reason.  He asked us if we have pets, and we told him we have two cats, and he said "that's not good."  He said something similar the last time we saw him.  His reasoning is "some people have allergies." Well, OK, but we don't, and the baby doesn't seem to, and we're hardly the first people to have both cats and a baby.  He even said to Anton, while examining him, "you don't like those cats, do you?"

 

DH was like, "HE LOVES CATS."  Haha.

 

Anyway, the good news is that he said Anton is just a bit stuffy but there's nothing wrong with his lungs and nothing serious going on.  We have another appointment with him in a couple of weeks which I may or may not keep, depending on when I can find a new ped.  If we do go back though, I'm tempted to tell him I've stopped using my breast as a pacifier, and switched to using the cat as a pacifier.  Tee hee.

 

cat.gif

post #76 of 118
Thread Starter 

^ That pediatrician needs to start giving medical advice and stop giving parenting advice.  shake.gif  You guys are 100% right, I'd drop him, too.  I hope Anton is feeling better soon.  

post #77 of 118
Quote:
Originally Posted by Chaika View Post

Then he said, "maybe you're not making enough milk."  But he had told me Anton's weight gain was fine, and I reminded him of that, and told him that when I pump I tend to get a good amount, so how could that be?  He shrugged and changed the subject

Um...is this guy for real?!

And I love the use of the kitty icon: well done. orngbiggrin.gif
post #78 of 118
Quote:
Originally Posted by Chaika View Post

 

 

Anyway, the good news is that he said Anton is just a bit stuffy but there's nothing wrong with his lungs and nothing serious going on.  We have another appointment with him in a couple of weeks which I may or may not keep, depending on when I can find a new ped.  If we do go back though, I'm tempted to tell him I've stopped using my breast as a pacifier, and switched to using the cat as a pacifier.  Tee hee.

 

cat.gif



ROTFLMAO.gif That's great!

 

But really, guy sounds like an idiot. Is he going senile or something?

post #79 of 118
Quote:
Originally Posted by Chaika View Post

 

Anyway, the good news is that he said Anton is just a bit stuffy but there's nothing wrong with his lungs and nothing serious going on.  We have another appointment with him in a couple of weeks which I may or may not keep, depending on when I can find a new ped.  If we do go back though, I'm tempted to tell him I've stopped using my breast as a pacifier, and switched to using the cat as a pacifier.  Tee hee.

 

cat.gif


That is so weird! But also hilarious. I tried a few peds around here before I started seeing our nurse practitioner. I love her so so much. Maybe worth a try finding one?

 

post #80 of 118
Quote:
Originally Posted by kylaskye View Post

ROTFLMAO.gif That's great!

 

But really, guy sounds like an idiot. Is he going senile or something?



Possibly, he is rather old!



Quote:
Originally Posted by mareseatoats View Post

That is so weird! But also hilarious. I tried a few peds around here before I started seeing our nurse practitioner. I love her so so much. Maybe worth a try finding one?

 


That's a good idea.  I generally prefer nurses.  I saw CNMs when I was pregnant.

 

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