or Connect
Mothering › Groups › August 2011 Birth Club › Discussions › Chitting and Chatting - 9/24 - 10/1

Chitting and Chatting - 9/24 - 10/1 - Page 5

post #81 of 118
Quote:
Originally Posted by egmaranian View Post

Thanks everyone for helping to validate my feelings of upset over DH's attitude/behavior.  I know you are all right about counseling being a good thing.  I just need to figure out how to bring it up to him and then actually find a therapist.  He has actually been a little better the last couple of days.  Not helping around the house any more than usual, but it seems like he's "seeing" me again.  It's been a long time. He's a good guy and I truly do love him.  I think part of our problem is that we started our life together and our family as very established adult individuals and somehow bringing kids into the picture really blurred the lines of what our lives are supposed to look like now.  I'm 35 and he is 38.  We just got married 5 years ago.  We were both set in our ways/routines and he is just being very slow to learn that our life is a different animal now that we have the littles.  I hope we can figure it out soon.

 

 



ahhhh, yes, our dilemma as well.  DH was 42 and I was 32 when we got married.  We both had excellent careers, savings in the bank, hobbies we loved - bringing children into the mix has meant sacrifices on ALL those fronts for us- and it's more of a struggle for him (I think) to adjust.

post #82 of 118

My mom made a blissful comment about coming over and smelling the baby today - I had her come over to hold him for awhile so I could clean - and I mentioned that I didn't think he really smelled like anything and am confused by people loving "baby smell."

 

She said that it's because I don't wash him very often and people love up the baby soap smell.

 

I replied that I bathe him more than most people I know and if people want to smell baby soap, they should go buy a bottle. Because I'm charming ;)

 

But really? I bathe him every other day and sponge any stinky parts daily. He doesn't stink, he just isn't perfumed. Pah.

post #83 of 118


 

Quote:
Originally Posted by Beckily View Post

My mom made a blissful comment about coming over and smelling the baby today - I had her come over to hold him for awhile so I could clean - and I mentioned that I didn't think he really smelled like anything and am confused by people loving "baby smell."

 

She said that it's because I don't wash him very often and people love up the baby soap smell.

 

I replied that I bathe him more than most people I know and if people want to smell baby soap, they should go buy a bottle. Because I'm charming ;)

 

But really? I bathe him every other day and sponge any stinky parts daily. He doesn't stink, he just isn't perfumed. Pah.


We've only bathed DS2 twice so far, and mostly just because of his hair. We also don't use any soap, just warm water. He does however still have his new baby smell, but again its mostly just his hair where I smell it. Its impossible to describe the actual smell, but its definitely unique to him. DS2 is only 23 days old today and I do expect that new baby smell to disappear soon.

 

I do agree that for the most part what people expect to smell on little babies is just baby soap or baby powder, and you can even get scented candles for those smells if you want the scent so badly. My mum always smells babies the first time she gets to hold them. DS2 is the first of her grandchildren that she hasn't held on the day they were born, but then she'll have my sister's baby to hold and smell in March to make up for being so far away from DS2.

 

AFM I finally got back into my hacked email account, and there is a mail forwarding set up by the hackers that I can't turn off because googlemail is taking too long to load the page. I also can't get into my contacts list either for the same reason. angry.gif Why can't I just have it sorted easily so I can transfer everything to the new account I set up and get the old one shut down. I hate that so much of my life is online these days.

 

post #84 of 118

I only bathe DD2 every other day...they're just babies they don't need it everyday.  Although I hate stinky baby neck!  That I have to wash everyday. 

post #85 of 118

Charlie's happiest time is naked time. I think that's actually why he likes baths so well.

I had him on the floor naked yesterday and he was quite happy and adorable. Daddy was working in the chair next to us but then Charlie looked up at him and I told Dusty that he was. So he joined us. Charlie never looked at me again. He was overjoyed that his daddy was joining him for naked time. It was so sweet. Eye to eye, big grin, giggling and flailing.

My dad says that men don't like babies at this age because they're interactive and that women like them best at this age because they need us, but pah. I cannot for a minute understand why any human would want to miss out on something as wonderful as their baby loving them like that. I'm so so happy that I found a man who is smart enough to recognize this.

 

Also, I still slept pretty well, but didn't get as much sleep. Charlie was failing at nursing and too asleep to be helpful so I had to get up and change him around 4 to wake him up enough to eat and quit kicking me. And he woke up fussy and stayed that way. Oh well. Still cute :)

 

He's exactly the right size that when he nurses and kicks at me, he's aiming at my crotch and incision. He also got his father's evil raptor-like toenails and those things frigging hurt. Not something you want aimed at a recently healed surgical site, especially one over an infection.

post #86 of 118
hi ladies! I've been totally busy this week, haven't been on much at all. Hope everyone is doing well!

I do have a quick question: At what point should I worry that Reed is not smiling? I mean, he smiles sometimes in his sleep, but he is 6 weeks today and just does.not.smile. He'll kind of move his mouth around, but nothing like my other three were. Any advice?
post #87 of 118
jillybeans, I'm not sure about the smiling milestone. I wish I could help! I hope somebody else knows. hug2.gif

I have a question, you guys. I forget where, but people were talking about how often their kiddos nap. Well...are you LOs drifting off for these naps, or do you nurse them down, or what? And for how long do they sleep? I feel like DD does not easily drift off (except when nursing) and during the day she often only sleeps for like a half hours, then she wakes up. She doesn't find that super deep wake-for-nothing sleep easily during the day. So I guess I was wondering what other people experience in this area? Thanks! smile.gif
post #88 of 118
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tear78 View Post

jillybeans, I'm not sure about the smiling milestone. I wish I could help! I hope somebody else knows. hug2.gif
I have a question, you guys. I forget where, but people were talking about how often their kiddos nap. Well...are you LOs drifting off for these naps, or do you nurse them down, or what? And for how long do they sleep? I feel like DD does not easily drift off (except when nursing) and during the day she often only sleeps for like a half hours, then she wakes up. She doesn't find that super deep wake-for-nothing sleep easily during the day. So I guess I was wondering what other people experience in this area? Thanks! smile.gif


We either nurse or back pat/butt pat/walk/rock/bounce him to sleep!

 

post #89 of 118

Jill - I've been thinking about your question... and your totally cute chubby baby boy ;)

Does he interact and meet your eyes?

If so, I wouldn't worry for a bit longer yet. I have no idea when you ought to, officially.

He's just done so well with so much stacked against him that I would put off worrying as long as possible :)

 

 

 

Different subject.

Charlie really likes to be calmed with butt patting. This works for me, he's got a very cute butt and I worry a lot less about patting to hard when patting a butt over a back. I keep getting hilarious flashes of him being upset as a 40 year old and needing someone to comfort him by patting his butt, though.

Anyone else have a brain that likes using normal baby things as hilarious hints of the future?

post #90 of 118
Tear- does she like to be swaddled? Magnolia was taking consecutive short naps during the day (she would wake up, be up for 15-20 mins then out again). Once DH convinced me to swaddle her during the day her nap length has improved.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Beckily View Post

Jill - I've been thinking about your question... and your totally cute chubby baby boy wink1.gif

Does he interact and meet your eyes?

If so, I wouldn't worry for a bit longer yet. I have no idea when you ought to, officially.

He's just done so well with so much stacked against him that I would put off worrying as long as possible :)

 

 

 

Different subject.

Charlie really likes to be calmed with butt patting. This works for me, he's got a very cute butt and I worry a lot less about patting to hard when patting a butt over a back. I keep getting hilarious flashes of him being upset as a 40 year old and needing someone to comfort him by patting his butt, though.

Anyone else have a brain that likes using normal baby things as hilarious hints of the future?


lol, yes! Every time Magnolia has gas or is trying to poop she scrunches up her face and wiggles her whole body around making it quite obvious whats shes doing. I find it hilarious now, but when she does it I tell her she's eventually going to have to learn to pass gas like a lady (very discreetly in private), or she won't have very many friends.
post #91 of 118
Quote:
Originally Posted by Beckily View Post

I keep getting hilarious flashes of him being upset as a 40 year old and needing someone to comfort him by patting his butt, though.

He'll just have to be a football player. winky.gif About the nap topic, do you then have a clear time you try to get him to sleep for daytime naps, or do you play off his tired signals?

SouthernStormy, it's been a long time since we've tried to swaddle her because the last few times she was straining and grouching against the swaddle. However, she sleeps best in her bassinet and carseat where she is somewhat restrained, so maybe it's time to try again. Thanks for the tip! thumb.gif And DD does the same thing when she poops/has gas. I find myself saying "oh, pardon!" when in public. lol...
post #92 of 118

Baby smell:  I personally love the natural baby smell as opposed to the dreft/pampers perfume smell.  My stepmom and I call it a  baby's "musty" smell, and it is best on the in-between bath days.  

 

Jill: my pediatrician said 8 weeks is typical for social smiling, so the fact that he hasn't yet is no cause for concern.

 

AFM:  anyone know how to babyproof a fireplace, or even if it is necessary?  we just moved to a house that has one and i really want to use it.  it has very heavy doors that cover the box, but i am concerned that they will get super hot and DD will be crawling right around the time we want to use it.  I have seen fireplace babygates, but they are like $200!  not really an option right now. 

post #93 of 118

I second the swaddling. We don't do them for naps, but it is a miracle for nighttime. Makes his sleep stretches about 3 1/2 hours instead of only an hour. He will totally struggle against the swaddle (we use a velcro one like a miracle blanket), so when he starts getting sleepy, I put him in the pocket of the swaddle and wrap it loosely under his arms. Only when he is actually asleep will I actually strap him into it.  And if I don't un-velcro it as soon as he wakes up, I have a screaming baby! 

 

As for when we have him nap, I just wait for him to decide, which is easy enough right now because I am still off work (only one more week of mat leave, sigh!). Although he usually needs help. If he doesn't just fall asleep at the boob, I put him on my shoulder and rock in the glider once I see his sleepy eyes.  But I have to say that I'm not too great at the transfer, because no matter how dead asleep he seems, he wakes up half the times when I try to set him down.  When he does sleep, his daytime naps are anything from 5 to 45 minutes. 

post #94 of 118


 

Quote:
Originally Posted by jillybeans View Post

I do have a quick question: At what point should I worry that Reed is not smiling? I mean, he smiles sometimes in his sleep, but he is 6 weeks today and just does.not.smile. He'll kind of move his mouth around, but nothing like my other three were. Any advice?


You just want Reed to meet the "smilestone" by 3 months (12 weeks).  I wouldn't worry at all!!

 

AFM -- Kind of a hard, depressing week around here.  The dog went to stay indefinitely with my ILs.  I just couldn't spend all day regulating DS, who was getting on my last nerves spending all darn day harassing the poor dog.  I know the dog will be so much happier with the ILs -- daily walks, HUGE yard, they have a golden retriever he gets along well with, plenty of attention, plenty of treats.  We lived with them for almost a year at one point, so he knows their house, and knows them.  I know he'll be so much happier there without DS constantly trying to put things in his mouth, take his food, ride him, kick him, push him, poke him...  You get the idea.  But I miss him.  On a much lighter note, though, we got the insurance fiasco squared away regarding DD's hospital stay.  We'll still have to pay almost $2500, but that number is much smaller than $15,000 (PHEW).

 

 

 


Edited by Italiamom - 10/1/11 at 7:24am
post #95 of 118
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tear78 View Post

I have a question, you guys. I forget where, but people were talking about how often their kiddos nap. Well...are you LOs drifting off for these naps, or do you nurse them down, or what? And for how long do they sleep? I feel like DD does not easily drift off (except when nursing) and during the day she often only sleeps for like a half hours, then she wakes up. She doesn't find that super deep wake-for-nothing sleep easily during the day. So I guess I was wondering what other people experience in this area? Thanks! smile.gif


Usually nursed down, but if he doesn't fall asleep, he goes in the swing.  Sometimes he'll fall asleep by himself in the swing, other times he gives me at least 15-20 min to do something (decompress, use the bathroom, get a snack) before he starts squawking for more boob.  Usually naps are 2-3 hours in the swing (with mulitple hits on the music button).  Sleep at night is a crapshoot still.

 

IM - GREAT news on the insurance!  PHEW!! Much more doable amount there!! Im sorry about the pup but it does sound like a far less stressful arrangement.  

 

Cakemama - I would get a gate up around it or something.  Like this..  http://www.onestepahead.com/catalog/product.jsp?productId=5805

 

AFM - Tomorrow is DD's 3rd bday and my friend's visit.  I am struggling b/c I want to be excited about DD's birthday but there's this cloud of UGH surrounding the day.  I think I'm just going to have to forget that this chick is coming so I can get more excited for DD.  Stupid situation.  Weight watchers is going well I think, we'll see when I weigh in I suppose!  Finn's reflux seems to be more under control but I'm still getting puked on quite often -- I'm thinking of finding a chiro that specializes in infants to see if it might help.

 

post #96 of 118
Quote:
Originally Posted by cat13 View Post

I second the swaddling. We don't do them for naps, but it is a miracle for nighttime. Makes his sleep stretches about 3 1/2 hours instead of only an hour. He will totally struggle against the swaddle (we use a velcro one like a miracle blanket), so when he starts getting sleepy, I put him in the pocket of the swaddle and wrap it loosely under his arms. Only when he is actually asleep will I actually strap him into it.  And if I don't un-velcro it as soon as he wakes up, I have a screaming baby! 


WOW!!!!! I just tried this. I waited until she was super sleepy then swaddled her in one blanket. She woke kind of up, so I walked her around and she zonked out again and I swaddled her in a second (she always used to break out of just one). I just put her down...IN..HER...BED....and she's asleep! The whole thing took maybe 10 minutes MAX! Thank you!!!!! bow2.gif Now to see how long she stays asleep.

ETA - Carrie, we x-posted. Thanks for the swing tip. Our equivalent is the bouncy chair. smile.gif I'm glad Finn's reflux is a bit better.

uh-oh, screaming baby. How do you deal with the nookie falling out? Or should that go under confessions...do other people use pacifiers? hide.gif
post #97 of 118

Cakemama: We have two woodstoves in our house, and so far no gates around either one. We contemplated a gate with DS1, but then couldn't afford it, and so instead we taught him to stay away from the stove. It was either when he was an infant, but last year we had to keep him in our sight at all times. If he got too close to the stove I would hold his hand really close to it briefly to show him that it was hot, and he actually kept away from it after that. Now, I'm contemplating dividing the room once DS2 is old enough to move about; we have a large playpen that can be disassembled into a large gate, and that will keep him out of all sorts of trouble (stairs, closets, etc.).

 

jillybeans: I agree with IM; don't worry about it until 12 weeks.

 

Bathing: We bathed DS2 for the third time today. He's 4 1/2 weeks old. We don't use soap on him, just warm water. We washed him because he looked crusty but I think it's some sort of rash that doesn't come of.

 

Swaddling: Thanks for the tip. I used to swaddle him but then stopped. Just retried it and he's been taking his longest nap in weeks (30+ min)

 

AFM: Busy around here. We had visitors all week, and lots of appt to go to. The chiropractor finished his treatments on DS2, and while he now is all straightened out and relaxed, the nursing issue has not improved; he continues to bite while latching on. So, I went back to the lactation consultant yesterday to make sure that it wasn't a latch issue and she now thinks that he has a sublingual tongue tie (short frenulum). The only way to fix that is to go to some place in NY, which is at least 8 hours away, where they fix it through surgery. But because it is not really bad - he's gaining fine and my pain is getting better - she suggested just waiting it out until he outgrows it, and trying to let him suck on my finger to see if we can help him stretch his tongue more. Very annoying, but then I had pain nursing DS1, and I'm beginning to suspect that he may have had a similar issue (not as bad though), and it did get better as time progressed.

 

In other news, I send DS1 on a playdate to avoid another Saturday with a clusterfeeding newborn and a needy toddler while DH is doing his homework. It was the best decision ever since I can now do laundry while DS2 takes a nap. I already cleaned the kitchen. I feel all productive today!

post #98 of 118
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tear78 View Post

uh-oh, screaming baby. How do you deal with the nookie falling out? Or should that go under confessions...do other people use pacifiers? hide.gif


I cheat.

 

IMG_8711-1.jpg

 

If he holds a stuffed toy it'll keep the paci in for a bit. I'm not far away, I don't leave him like this.  Once he's asleep it usually falls out anyway, so I don't worry.

 

I'm also getting this:

 

http://www.wubbanub.com/products_main.html

 

 

 

 

post #99 of 118
ROTFLMAO.gif Carrie, I'm just picturing how those must look from the baby's POV. lol...
post #100 of 118
Quote:
Originally Posted by cakemama579 View Post

Baby smell:  I personally love the natural baby smell as opposed to the dreft/pampers perfume smell.  My stepmom and I call it a  baby's "musty" smell, and it is best on the in-between bath days.  

 

Jill: my pediatrician said 8 weeks is typical for social smiling, so the fact that he hasn't yet is no cause for concern.

 

AFM:  anyone know how to babyproof a fireplace, or even if it is necessary?  we just moved to a house that has one and i really want to use it.  it has very heavy doors that cover the box, but i am concerned that they will get super hot and DD will be crawling right around the time we want to use it.  I have seen fireplace babygates, but they are like $200!  not really an option right now. 


we have a woodstove, and are foster parents, so HAVE to have soemthing around it. We freaked at the price of the fireplace covers too! So we bought this, and it works AWESOME (and I use it in the summer in the yard!)
http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00020L78M/ref=pd_lpo_k2_dp_sr_2?pf_rd_p=486539851&pf_rd_s=lpo-top-stripe-1&pf_rd_t=201&pf_rd_i=B00004RA68&pf_rd_m=ATVPDKIKX0DER&pf_rd_r=0NAKGG0578CPM69G993S
  Return Home
  Back to Forum: August 2011 Birth Club
Mothering › Groups › August 2011 Birth Club › Discussions › Chitting and Chatting - 9/24 - 10/1