Foster baby really does seem like the most comfortable for me, I appreciate your opinion, Smithie. Knowing the situation makes my husband and I very sure that there's no possible way that she will be interested enough, nor able to pull herself together to do what she needs to do. So my husband (as well as everyone else involved, including her) is perfectly comfortable moving into "son," but foster son feels more like a good transition and acknowledgement that there's clearly still the possibility of the situation being temporary.
He's just started calling us mama and dadda (though doesn't recognize which means which yet, just that one of us pays attention to him when he says it), and I couldn't help but wonder how a foster parent would deal with this period of development.
My husband tells me that it's not our decision whether he's with us for the next 18 days, or the next 18 years, that forever long we are blessed with him we are his parents, and therefore he is our son, even if temporarily. He seems to be much more comfortable embracing the moment, even if it means in a month or twelve, we have to adjust to a different type of relationship...
So much confusion with the situation, but by calling him our nephew it's lead to so many uncomfortable questions or has felt like our relationship with him is dismissed because he must just be visiting, when he's nothing of the sort.
One day at a time. :)
He has medicaid already, thankfully. First doctors appointment and shots the 26th! We also were offered coordinated childcare for him, but thankfully don't have much of a need for it with the types of work schedules we have. We could change our schedules to be able to take advantage of the CCC but it would mean less time with him, so I doubt I will go that route he needs as much one on one attention as we can afford.