or Connect
Mothering › Groups › May 2012 Birth Club › Discussions › Homebirthers!

Homebirthers! - Page 2

post #21 of 514

hey all! 4th baby here, first home birth! So excited to have hubby on my side. We have our midwife picked, and are ready to enjoy the ride :) I have hypnobabies but never used it due to a crazy birth experience with my last baby! Anywhoo, I am glad to get to know you ladies and excited to learn some things!

post #22 of 514

I want a home birth, but saying that, I know it would have to be unassisted. I'm an insulin dependent diabetic, and midwives in Ontario won't even TALK to me. While I'm cool with an unassisted birth, I'm concerned about the legal ramifications. 

post #23 of 514
Quote:
Originally Posted by BubbleMa View Post



That's so interesting.  I don't want anyone here except for DH and the midwives.  For me I think it would be more stressful to have a bunch of people around.  Maybe if I had more helpful/less stressful family members it would be different.  lol
 

 


The during was fine- I was in my own world, and the support from my husband was just right- but it was the after that I found lonely. I don't know, really... I guess I found it hard to celebrate with just the two of us and a wailing newborn, if there were more people there would have been more oohs and ahhs and noise and chaos and congratulations. And then my husband pretty much went straight to bed after (which I can understand, he worked an unexpected overnight shift and had been up for more than 24 hrs) which left me on my own to put on clothes and get something to eat with an infant who wouldn't stop crying (he was SO MAD about being born!)

 

post #24 of 514
Quote:
Originally Posted by JynxGirl View Post

I want a home birth, but saying that, I know it would have to be unassisted. I'm an insulin dependent diabetic, and midwives in Ontario won't even TALK to me. While I'm cool with an unassisted birth, I'm concerned about the legal ramifications. 



Pretty sure there aren't any. They can definitely frown on you planning a UC from the start but they can't outlaw unassisted birth because there's no way for them to figure out- oh, she had the baby before the midwife came or they didn't make it to the hospital on time. They'd basically have to induce every labour in hospital before the due date just in case someone HAPPENED to have the baby at home before help showed up. That's how I understood it, anyway. I'm in Quebec and UC'd, but found data for a lot of Canada while searching around for Quebec-specific info (which is hard to find when you don't speak french!)

post #25 of 514

onemore-you might consider more b vitamins.  looks like you are only taking b12?

 

post #26 of 514
Quote:
Originally Posted by Astraia View Post




The during was fine- I was in my own world, and the support from my husband was just right- but it was the after that I found lonely. I don't know, really... I guess I found it hard to celebrate with just the two of us and a wailing newborn, if there were more people there would have been more oohs and ahhs and noise and chaos and congratulations. And then my husband pretty much went straight to bed after (which I can understand, he worked an unexpected overnight shift and had been up for more than 24 hrs) which left me on my own to put on clothes and get something to eat with an infant who wouldn't stop crying (he was SO MAD about being born!)

 


Ooh, I haven't really thought about that part.  I mean, I have, but not in that way.  Hmmm.

 



Quote:
Originally Posted by Astraia View Post





Pretty sure there aren't any. They can definitely frown on you planning a UC from the start but they can't outlaw unassisted birth because there's no way for them to figure out- oh, she had the baby before the midwife came or they didn't make it to the hospital on time. They'd basically have to induce every labour in hospital before the due date just in case someone HAPPENED to have the baby at home before help showed up. That's how I understood it, anyway. I'm in Quebec and UC'd, but found data for a lot of Canada while searching around for Quebec-specific info (which is hard to find when you don't speak french!)


Shhh...don't give them any ideas!  I can almost see that happening someday if things keep going the direction they're going now (in the US anyway).  :(

 

post #27 of 514

I wish sooooo badly to be a part of this group!!! I read articles, watch videos and documentaries, scan forums, but no matter what I say DH refuses.This will be our second child and with DS I had a midwife and a birthplan but my midwife could only deliver at a hospital. I wanted to go all natural. I wanted to try different positions and no IV or fetal monitors and definitely no drugs. I made it to 8 1/2 cms and my family started freaking out because at that point I started crying with each contraction because they just plain hurt. Not sobbing or screaming just tears while I grimaced. It was 2 am and my midwife hadnt made it there yet, so DH and parents and ILs start telling me to get the epi and that they would feel so much better and so would I. Nurses kept offering it over and over and even brought in the anesthesiologist for me to meet "just in case" I changed my mind. My husband finally told me it was no big deal if we didnt stick to the birth plan and that at least I had tried without an epi, but what if i start regretting it when its time to push and its too late to get one? I caved. :'( Now with this one I want so badly to do it at home where I wont even have that option and neither will they. I feel like home is the only place I'll be able to make myself work through the fear of the pain. SO, please tell me, how did mommas get your men on board???

post #28 of 514

Hey allie! I just got my husband on board. It was not easy. AT ALL!! He didn't see any problems with my 2nd epidural pitocin birth. Even said I was more peaceful then my 3rd un-medicated hospital birth. I basically had to plant the idea in his head and then take a step back. One of my friends who got her hubby on board with three UC births told me to do this because men have to feel they are making the final decision. It was so true! The more I pushed a home birth, the more he rejected the idea. I finally took a step back after I could tell he was beyond annoyed. I sat on his lap, gave him a hug and told him with tears in my eyes that I appreciated him even considering the option and that it meant a lot to me that he was. Then I said nothing more about it. A day later he text me while at work and told me he was on board as long as he got his questions answered. That weekend he sat down with me to watch "The Business of Being Born" and had all his questions answered. Everyone told me to have him watch that documentary with me and he would be on board, and he was!!! Now he is 100% supportive and even a little excited :) Good luck! I am sure if my hubby can be persuaded, anyone's hubby can!!!

post #29 of 514

I agree with having him watch The Business of Being Born. It's full of facts and statistics, and men love that.  lol  Also, my SO felt so much better after meeting with the midwife.  He was able to ask her whatever questions he had, and she answered them with knowledge and confidence.  She's also very comforting, and easy to talk to so that helped too. He's still a little skeptical about seeing a birth (his children were born via c-section) but I think when the time comes he'll be just fine.  I'm trying to get him to watch some videos before hand though.

post #30 of 514

Alliegal, so sorry you're going through this! I'd really be pushing for homebirth too in your situation.

 

Can you find out why your husband is so opposed to it? Is he scared for you/baby's health? Thinking he won't be able to support you? Feels like it's just what you do- babies are supposed ot be born in hospitals? If he's scared, have him meet with a midwife and ask all his questions of her. Give him statistics and information on the safety of homebirth, the risks of different interventions you might get in hospitals, risks of foreign bacteria, etc etc.

 

If he's worried about not being able to support you, do you have a homebirth friendly or familiar friend to have over? Find a new or student doula to help you out- some will do it free or VERY cheap to finish off certification, or put him in charge of caring for your older child and have a family member you trust (who isn't too likely to freak out) be your primary support. Some husbands, I know, suck at being a decent labour support person and I don't think it's fair to either party to put them in that role (the mother or the father).

 

If it's the last one... find amidwife, tell him you don't have to do what everyone else does, and he can come  around when his kid is born and he realizes baby's DON'T have to be born only in hospitals.

 

 

post #31 of 514
Thread Starter 

Allie- my hubby asked a lot of questions before our 1st homebirth, but when he met the midwife and asked HER questions, and when we discussed it... he realized that it was completely safe (if not more safe for low risk me!) and that is was worth it for me.  We had to pay out of pocket for our homebirth when a hospital birth would've been free and it took me a few months to "get over" the feelings of being selfish.  But I told myself (and he assured me) that I only get to give birth SO many times, and it really was that important to me.  And honestly, it was a LIFE altering experience.... so much so that now I work in the field of birth (prenatal yoga, doula, Hypnobabies instructor... etc) and really am such a more confident person in general after doing that.  I'd say... it's worth the fight!! (I had a lot of people in my life against it... but I FOUGHT for what I wanted!)  

 

 

post #32 of 514

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by BubbleMa View Post

I agree with having him watch The Business of Being Born. It's full of facts and statistics, and men love that.  lol  Also, my SO felt so much better after meeting with the midwife.  He was able to ask her whatever questions he had, and she answered them with knowledge and confidence.  She's also very comforting, and easy to talk to so that helped too. He's still a little skeptical about seeing a birth (his children were born via c-section) but I think when the time comes he'll be just fine.  I'm trying to get him to watch some videos before hand though.


 


yeahthat.gif

 

I did exactly that to get DH on board. He watched the Business of Being Born and also Pregnant in America. He also watched several homebirth videos on YouTube. Then, we met the midwife and he was completely convinced. Now, he is telling random pregnant cashiers at the grocery that they might want to look into home birth, haha, he is such a supporter now. He was afraid of something bad happening to me or the baby...but after realizing the risk of hospital birth and seeing how confident the midwife is, he is very excited to welcome our baby at home. 

post #33 of 514

Allie I ditto what everyone else has said. I also presented him with a lot of research about the safety of homebirth and why it was okay. :) I also had him watch the Business of Being Born, but for him it was really the research that showed it was safe. We also got a doula so that he wouldn't feel so much pressure to "support me" the whole time. For him, he was afraid he would fail me when it came to supporting me during labor. Interviewing the midwife also seemed to help. 

 

 

post #34 of 514

This will be my third birth and second homebirth.  My first was in a hospital with a mw.  It was pretty stressful and a very long labor.  With the second the homebirth was planned with a mw, but I went REALLY fast and it ended up unassisted.

post #35 of 514

Added more B vitamins in. Feeling better!! I think I am going to save for the hypnobabies set. I'm curious and most people (lol Astria) have good reviews for it.

post #36 of 514
I even did some of the Cd's after she was born so I could deeply relax during nap time and re-gain myself. I think it's worth it. winky.gif
post #37 of 514
I am nursing my 2 y/o over here and I am STARVING all day long! UGH
post #38 of 514
Thread Starter 

sosurreal- I am nursing a 2 yr old as well.  My chiropractor says I need to EAT because the combo or pregnancy and nursing is going to seriously deplete my nutrients if not.  Unfortunately I'm still not as hungry as I should be.  So I say EAT EAT EAT!!!

post #39 of 514

HI all! This will be my 3rd baby, 1st homebirth.  My first birth was a birth center turned transfer to hospital birth. My second was a beautiful hypnobabies birth at a birth center. I'd do it there again actually if it weren't so far away. We moved so it's slightly further than before and last time it was an hour away and the drive there in labor was not fun and the drive home with a crying baby was no fun.  So I figured it's the same as being at home minus the drive so I might as well!  Just scheduled my first appointment with the mw on November 1st.  So excited!  

post #40 of 514
Callie it's the same for me. My first was hypnobabies at BC no issues but the drive is so far a HB just seems like a better option!
  Return Home
  Back to Forum: May 2012 Birth Club
Mothering › Groups › May 2012 Birth Club › Discussions › Homebirthers!