or Connect
Mothering › Mothering Forums › Toddler › Toddler Health › Breastfeeding Beyond Infancy › Beautiful CLW with my 7yo DD
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:

Beautiful CLW with my 7yo DD

post #1 of 13
Thread Starter 

I asked dd the other day if she is done bf'ing and she said yes. I can't remember the exact day her last nursing, but it was in the past couple weeks. I am quite certain this is it. I feel good, she feels good.

 

If you would have asked me 7 years ago that I would bf this long, I would have thought, "my that is quite old". I never had a timeline for weaning. I just kept going because it worked for us.  It is funny, she would have a birthday and I thought, "yup, she is definitely not done, I am pretty sure she will go another year or two". I have said that for the past 6 birthdays. I always knew I would bf, I think it is beautiful seeing a mother and baby connected both being nourished and nurtured. Sure, there were times I would have liked it to end, but not because of bf'ing, because mothering is a hard job. I needed a break from it. I see the results of this attachment. My dd is secure, beautiful(in and out), very healthy, confident child that I attribute to responding to her needs. Sometimes those needs are fulfilled with bf'ing, bringing her back to where she needs to be again and to go back to life's challenges. I never realized how helpful bf'ing is during the toddler years until I was in it. They helped with tantrums so much. I can't imagine not having this amazing tool. And for illnesses as well. DD was not sick much,  it helped her recover quickly too.  Then, of course when ds came along and I needed some relief soon after his birth, she was so happy to help. Easily the last 3 years it has dropped off significantly. Maybe only 1-3/month for a few minutes at home. She never asked in public after she turned 4.

 

Sometimes I wonder if she would have gone this long if she didn't have a younger brother who is 4 years younger. Perhaps she was the first born, b/c she needed to bf for 7 years. It will be interesting to see how long ds will go. He is far from being done and turning 3 in November.

 

I have heard it all.."she won't learn to self soothe, she won't ever sleep in her own bed or through the night if I keep nursing her, you need to not nurse her so she will eat food, you are spoiling her, you are giving in to her". She does sleep in her own bed, she does sleep through the night, she eats food and she is far from being spoiled.

 

I have learned to trust myself and my dd, to follow her needs and mine. And put the outside world at bay who may be unsupportive and uninformed about bf'ing. I have learned so much about mothering through bf'ing and I am grateful for my supportive friends and community.

 

Some of you may read this and think, "awe this is gross, I can't imagine bf'ing my child for so long" especially if you have a 7 yo. Think about why you feel that way before you judge.

 

This has been a long, beautiful and oh, so, gentle weaning. This has been our path.

 

post #2 of 13
Thank you for sharing this beautiful story.
post #3 of 13

Wow, that's really inspirational!  I am just starting my nursing journey with my 3 mo DS, and am just now starting to think that I want to nurse him beyond the 1 year "deadline" that people seem to have in their heads... hearing stories like this one is really important to me.

 

Thank you so much for sharing.

 

Best wishes,

Anka

post #4 of 13
Thread Starter 

Anka, I am happy this will help. I encourage you to find like minded mamas and/or a La Leche League group. Even though you may not have bf problems, LLL can support and navigate your feelings around mothering. There will be milestones and hurdles along the way from family and friends and sometimes it can be hard to stand up to them and sound confident, especially as a first time mother.  When you know in your heart, your instincts, this is the right thing for the both of you. It is a process, a journey, and for me, tremendous personal growth.

 

post #5 of 13

I am so happy for you and your daughter!

post #6 of 13

thank you for sharing <3

post #7 of 13

Wow, you are an amazing Mama! SWe are soon to hit the one year mark, and I can't really see him wanting to wean any time soon.  I've been a little intimidated by how long he will want to BF for, but reading things like this is so inspiring!

post #8 of 13
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by BabySmurf View Post

Wow, you are an amazing Mama! SWe are soon to hit the one year mark, and I can't really see him wanting to wean any time soon.  I've been a little intimidated by how long he will want to BF for, but reading things like this is so inspiring!


I think people think that a 5 yo is nursing like an 8 month old, when they totally don't. It is so different. It becomes less for nutrition and more for nuturing as they get older. Although, my son is almost 3 and doesn't eat 3 meals and 2-3 snacks a day, and that is ok. I feel that bf'ing is like a safety net. I know he is still getting good food and I don't stress that he is not eating that much. Toddlers are on the go!

 

post #9 of 13
Quote:
Originally Posted by snowgirl View Post

I think people think that a 5 yo is nursing like an 8 month old, when they totally don't. It is so different. It becomes less for nutrition and more for nuturing as they get older. Although, my son is almost 3 and doesn't eat 3 meals and 2-3 snacks a day, and that is ok. I feel that bf'ing is like a safety net. I know he is still getting good food and I don't stress that he is not eating that much. Toddlers are on the go!

 


 

That's exactly how I feel about it! Besides, I don't know any toddlers that are "good" eaters, lol!

post #10 of 13

WoW, what a beautiful post. My 6+ yo just CLWed couple months ago. I can't imagine other better way to nuture and bounding with DD. She's so mature and healthy for inside and out as you said.

Congrats Mama!

post #11 of 13
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by BabySmurf View Post

 

That's exactly how I feel about it! Besides, I don't know any toddlers that are "good" eaters, lol!



ITA!! We have "good" eaters, they just eat normally, which isn't very much. Because natural weaning is between 2.5-7 yo.

post #12 of 13

That is such an amazing story! Thank you so much for sharing this! Just last night at my DS2's birthday dinner, my brother-in-law asked me how long I was going to nurse my DD, who just turned 1 earlier this month. My DH, bless his heart, says she's going to nurse her forever! He knows how I don't like that question! This is my last baby and do want to nurse her as long as possible. I wish I had that safety net with my 5-yr-old DD because she never eats anything and I so worry about her nutrition.

post #13 of 13

My honest first reaction when I read the title of your post was "my that is quite old" :).  Not in a judemental way mind you - more of a "good for them but that isn't really for me" kind of way.  But as I kept reading I realized that I came on here tonight seeking words of comfort, advice or inspiration about my soon to be 3 year old.  I have started to consider weaning - not because she is about to be 3 - just because I am starting to feel "done".  Your posted reminded me of why I hesitate to do this - I want our nursing story to have a happy ending.  And in order for that to happen we need it to be on her terms.  Thank you for reminding me of why I am doing this and all of the wonderful moments that have been pushed aside at times lately.

 

Congratulations to you for your happy ending and thank you for taking the time to share it with us.

New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:
  Return Home
  Back to Forum: Breastfeeding Beyond Infancy
Mothering › Mothering Forums › Toddler › Toddler Health › Breastfeeding Beyond Infancy › Beautiful CLW with my 7yo DD