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Chat Thread; 9/25-10/1 - Page 9

post #161 of 178

lifeguard, those play places are very popular for birthdays starting in kindergarten here. They are total chaos. I cannot imagine doing the same kind of party a) with kids two years younger and b) while this pregnant. You are amazing for having gotten through it.

 

prodromal labour: Huge hugs to all those dealing with it.

post #162 of 178

Seriously lifeguard, you're amazing.

 

Trinket, Awesome News!

 

 

post #163 of 178
Thanks! I was thinking it was a good way to get out of the house for several hours, but yeah, totally regretted it.

Trinket - that's fabulous!!!

Please, please, please, let these contractions be the real thing! PLEASE!
post #164 of 178

lifeguard: DD would have been totally out of luck - no WAY I would have climbed/done slides....  bow.gif

 

Nicolian:  I had dreams all night about hanging out with you, sewing, and you had your baby already!

 

I think I'm about to come down with a cold.  Ugh.

post #165 of 178
lifeguard you are a rockstar

katico I just gotover a cold andnowI fearI'mcomingdownwith ANOTHER one! Hopefully it's allergies?

Trinket yay for a new job!

Steph your DS and my DSS share a birthday smile.gif

AFM I'm officially too big for my clothes. It's kind of a problem redface.gif
post #166 of 178

Lifeguard: you went down a slide? I wish I could have seen it.

Pi: How are you and the baby doing? I'm so glad to see you will keep on checking this board.

 

AFM: We're part of a "Backyard Growers Association"--a fancy name for people in our neighborhood and surrounding neighborhoods who grow organic veggies in our backyards. Today is our annual potluck, and I'm excited because there are such cool people that participate in the program. It's a blue collar (for lack of a better term) area and people did not used to eat much in the way of any vegetables at all, so growing them is a real eye opener. The organizer is so cool, a really community minded person who's made a "farm" out of her entire city plot. My garden this year was mediocre, because I did not have ANY energy to be out in the sun doing anything at all, but I'm excited to hear about everyone else's success.

 

 

post #167 of 178
dollyanna - I feel for you. I have stuff that fits but it's only summer ware & well, it's definitely NOT summer here any more.

rosemary - that sounds wonderful.

Up most of the night with the most painful contractions I've had up until now. Then ds woke up & wouldn't go back to sleep for several hours. Now it looks like he has a fever & I am no longer having contractions. Four sleeps (& I use the word jokingly) until the induction which feels like a million days away.
post #168 of 178

I'm so sick of contracting.  I wish this child would get out of my ribs.  She has not dropped at all.

 

Lifeguard: Perhaps a slide is somehow going to trigger a smooth trip down the birth canal!  I hope you feel better with the contractions.  ANd that your DS sleeps.  For real.

 

Rosemary: That sounds so nifty.  I'm looking forward to planting veg next year.  We moved midseason this year so I didn't get much of a yield.

 

Trinket: YAY!  Congratulations to you and your husband!

 

I'm already feeling encroached on by family.  DH's parents are wanting to come up after she is born.  The initial agreement was the weekend after we're out of the hospital.  Now his mom is taking off the week of the 10th (the 10th was my initial due date, dating ultrasound then put it the 17th, I think it is likely somehwere in between) and asking how long I'll be at the hospital.  I don't know.  Kind of depends how things go.  Or if I deliver by then.  I know they want to see the baby, but I don't know.  I was fine with them coming the weekend after so I could have a few days at home before hand to get my barrings, but now I feel like they are going to be here RIGHT AWAY.  My mom is coming the 19th for a week, which is a bit sooner than I thought, but at least there is sometime.  And she is my mother.  I just don't want to field visitors right away.  I'm a (at times ridiculously) private person, I am also a person who isolates to get used to big changes.  Once I'm used to something, I'm fine, but I hate being around people while I am just fielding something.  I am not someone who likes advice, I like to just dive in and do it.  I don't want people trying to help me in the first few days.  I need to know I can do this.  I just don't get why people ask what would work best for me if they are just going to change it up at the last minute.  And now I feel like I'm having to deliver on a schedule.  And like I hold DH, what if I'm in the hospital a bit longer recovering or need to stay longer to get re-regulated on the blood sugar front?  What if baby needs to stay longer for blood sugar issues?  Under no circumstances will I be fielding ANY visitor in the hospital.  I kind of feel like the baby is being seen as like a source of entertainment or something, and I am being pressured to bring it.  I'm sure a lot of it is normal pre-baby anxiety, coupled with in-laws visiting ALWAYS being a stressful experiences, and me needing to feel in control.  I accept that I don't have a ton of control when it comes to the delivery, but can't I at least control who comes into my house?  Plus, MIL has serious boundary issues.  And she is completely camera happy.  One of her biggest joys is taking unflattering pictures of people and fussing over how cute they are.  I will break it, dammit.  Both inlaws are very much into telling people how they feel, and I can't stand that.  They are completely hallmark card sentimentalists, I'm very guarded emotionally and don't like hearing them try to "get at me" (as they sometimes put it).  They are also horribly untactful (when visiting the hospital when my father was clearly dying, my FIL asked several times about his life insurance.  At my father's funeral, he pulled me aside to tell me that even though I was managing okay, it would only get worst as time passed.)  It is a very offensive/defensive relationship.  They also are not big into being helpful.  They don't cook, they act like they are elderly (both are in their early fifties, NOT ELDERLY) and relish in their "old age".  They also are very heavy packers.  Last time they visited for two days, one could not walk through my living room for all of their shit.  Seriously, when I have flown home, I have never taken more than a carry-on which includes back up medical supplies.  We aren't in the middle of nowhere, be reasonable, and please, don't pack your own cleaning supplies.  It is rude.  So, DH is already trying to figure out ways to entertain them, trying to figure out what to feed them, etc.  They aren't dog people, and my dog rules the roost.  If they say anything negative about my girl, they will get hit.  I'm trying really hard to be nice and pleasant.  She is their first, likely only grandchild and they live eight hours away.  I just don't like the shift in plans.  I feel like if I fight it too hard, I'm just going to come across as a bitch, because MIL has the time off and her company has an ass backwards vacation policy.  But I am also way overwhelmed by it.  I'm also worried that I will just be so tired when they get here (looking like we're talking induction or csection right now) that I will come across mean either way.  DH already had to explain to them recovery time (MIL swears labor doesn't hurt, never had morning sickness, (always with a snide implication that she didn't have those because she just loved her son that much) and FIL adopted DH when he was 12 and is clueless with babies.  His biggest, consistent declaration is the oh-so-mature 'I'm not changing diapers!'  Um, fine, I never asked you to.  Again, intensely private person, I'm not really comfortable with the whole family changing my daughter.) and that I will need lots of privacy for feeding.  I'm thinking maybe I'm focusing my stress on them coming so not to focus on labor nerves.  That makes sense right?  

post #169 of 178

Oh livacreature I am so so sorry. You are right, in every way.  You should get some time to figure this out, you shouldn't have to do any of this "in public". I would feel exactly like you do.  Their stuff would drive me crazy, saying anything about my dog would push me over the edge, anything someone says indicating that I am whining or not doing my best would make my head blow up, I hope that your DH can play defense in a hard core way, and I hope you have a lock on your bedroom door.  They shouldn't come so soon, not at all.  Crappy, crappy, crappy.

post #170 of 178

NAK

 

I've been reading along and feeling like I want to join the conversations, but it's hard to do when I'm laying down all the time now!  My thoughts are with you all right now, though..  I check in several times a day, even if I don't post anything.

 

Malcolm is 3 days old now!  My milk came in yesterday, and the boobies are rock hard at this point.  Yesterday was hard on him, figuring out how to latch with that change.  We've got it down today, though.  He's doing great.  We had our first diaper blowout this morning -- alllll over my bed.  I blame DH.  He changed Mal's diaper in the middle of the night, and didn't pull it up in back high enough.  I had no clue he was poopy until suddenly he had yellow moist stuff all over his sleeve mitten thing, and by then it was soaked through our sheets onto our mattress.  Ooops.  DH got it cleaned up nicely, and now we're back to using our mattress protector and a receiving blanket under Malcolm, just in case.

 

Midwife came by to check on us again today.  Malcolm has O+ blood, like all my other kids, so I had to get the rhogam shot today.  Luckily it's never bothered me all that much, but it still makes me grumpy, especially since it costs me another $150.  Also did Malcolm's PKU heel poke.  He slept right through it, yay!  He's back up to his birth weight today, which makes me very happy.

 

Grandma took my other kids for a sleepover last night.  I was exhausted by 9pm, but I couldn't fall asleep for a good couple hours because of 1) being too warm, 2) being engorged, and 3) painful hemorrhoids.   Thankfully, we had our best night yet - only waking up to nurse and staying quiet, until 6am when he had a huuuuge burp, but once we got that out he headed right back to sleep.  Then not another peep until 9:40, which was so lovely!  I needed that sleep.

 

I've had SIL and MIL taking care of me the last couple days while DH had to work, but he's off his shift now until Thursday, and it's nice to have him home.  :) :)

post #171 of 178
livacreature - that does sound awkward - I hope you get through it without too much stress.

leiahs - OH I cannot wait to be able to write NAK again!!! Sounds like things are going pretty well, this stage is so short.

Yep - ds is sick. Has had a fever all day & is totally lethargic. Nice 'cause I was able to get him to nap & have a nap myself but otherwise totally sucky. Now I'm stuck feeling like I'm screwed either way. He's sick & is best with me so going into labour would be hard on all of us plus he wouldn't be allowed in the hospital to visit, but if I don't go into labour I continue in this prodromal labour hell. Darn I hate being stuck between a rock & a hard place! (Oh & I'm trying REALLY hard to ignore the fact that I may very well be the next one hit with whatever he's got!).
post #172 of 178

livacreature - Can you (or your DH really) tell your in-laws it would work best if they wait to get the call that baby is born and then make arrangements to come visit based on whatever medical scenarios may arise?  Are they flying or driving?  I totally get where you're coming from....you sound a lot like me interms of being private, wanting to get acclimated to new things on your own, not wanting everyone's advice.  Does your DH understand where you're coming from?  How does he feel about their impending visit and staying on your space?

 

lifeguard - You really are between a rock and a hard place, aren't you?  I really hope your prodromal stuff ends sooner rather than later, but I can see how this does not feel like the ideal time for baby to arrive.  DS is congested yet again - gosh, I love preschool - and not drinking enough to ensure the snot flows.  I've been dousing his pillow at nap and bedtime with eucalyptus and peppermint oils (since I'm obsessed with essential oils this pregnancy).  He's taking vitamin D and a multi every day, but I think he really needs to be drinking more.

 

AFM - Just got back from being taken out to dinner by the other mommies in our playgroup.  So nice to be able to sit and eat and have uninterrupted conversation.  I had a spicy thai lemongrass soup (different than I was expecting...brothy instead of coconut milky and with buckwheat noodles in it) and crabcakes and carrot cake.  Now I need to go make DS's lunch for tomorrow and get ready for bed.  Would love to have a great sleep night tonight, but not counting on it...

post #173 of 178

Livacreature, I was nodding my head while reading your entire post since I can empathize well. When DS was born, my in-laws ignored our request to wait and they came right away and were horrible. I have resented it ever since; it's a time I will never get back, and I didn't want to share it with them or have it go as it went.greensad.gif If your DH doesn't know how you resent it already, he needs to know and help you put the lid on it. They shouldn't come for more than 2 or 3 days. They shouldn't stay with you. That's probably a tall order, but why grandparents feel that they need to put themselves first in these situations (first grandchild or not) is beyond me. It is very selfish unless they have been asked. Perhaps if your DH can't get on board with you, you could speak to your doctor or midwife and have them give you the medical advice (or even a script) for a quiet and uneventful few days initially, due to unforeseen and possible complications--maternal stress or some title like that. It is really important to not just vent about this but to actually enforce something. You're a free adult and awkwardness or not, you don't have to see anybody you can't handle right after the birth. They can't just come see the baby, it's going to be you and the baby and you're not going to want to let her go. You're absolutely right to be so anxious.

 

post #174 of 178
livacreature: ACK! I'm sorry. That would bother me a lot, and I'm NOT a private person in general. My mom is coming right away for two weeks, but we have a relationship that makes that a good thing. I want her to and feel reassured by knowing she'll be here. My SIL told me that my MIL is very relieved that I don't expect her to come right away, which is funny, because I was very relieved that she didn't want to. I like her and she's helpful, but it would be more stressful for both of us for her to come too soon or for too long. I really think that you should do something about it, if you feel like you can at all. It's not reasonable for them to make assumptions and put themselves first - it should be about baby and parents needs first, then other family. Surely there is a way to make that clear, and to make it clear that their arrival BEFORE your new due date, with the assumption of meeting the baby, is not in anyone's best interest.
post #175 of 178
livacreature - is it possible for them to stay at a hotel at least?
post #176 of 178

Hotel all the way! That is what my ILs have to do when they visit. (we now live with my parents, but used to live across the country). Our "rule" was that if more than one person visits, its too much. This was helped by our smallish apartment and one bathroom, so not sure if you can get away with that. But you have to have DH just tell them that its too much.

 

It would be GREAT if he could insist that they stick to the first plan.

 

AND, you can always say to your MIL that she can take off whatenever she wants, but baby might not come until the end of the month (scare her with the farthest away date you can come up with- 2 weeks after that Oct 17 EDD? Even if you pretty much know that its not going to go that long).

 

 

post #177 of 178

I lobbied for a new smoke alarm for our downstairs hallway after DH dismantled ours in a fit of rage a few months back. It would go off all the time when I was cooking, and since cooking is what I do for a living, it was pretty bad. I researched and found one that people said wouldn't just go off if you are cooking, so I bought it and DH dutifully installed it. Um...it goes off if I boil water. I HATE this thing, with burning fiery passion. We need a smoke alarm obviously, but there's no door between our kitchen and our hallway, so...what am I supposed to do? I know this has nothing to do with babies, but I'm just feeling super crankypants this morning anyway. Blah.

 

On an up-note, someone is coming to buy my co-sleeper this morning! Hoorah! Thing was so completely useless for us, I'm glad someone else is taking it away.

post #178 of 178
Rosemary - dh & I have had such incredibly bad luck with smoke alarms. Seriously, why do the batteries always die at 3 in the morning? I've ripped one from the ceiling & thrown it out in the snow. Ime they are not the best made item. Dh says he'd happily pay a LOT more for a smoke alarm that didn't go off unless there was actually a fire!
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