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Am I risking my baby's well being? (X-posted in "I'm pregnant")

post #1 of 38
Thread Starter 

I just canceled my weekly check up at the OB's office due to not having a ride. His practice is clear across town, no convenient bus connection available, no money for a cab (which would probably add up to about 35 bucks one way) and I really really cannot hack having my inlaws over for the whole day again after putting up with them all day yesterday. I'm sure they won't mind coming over to take me, but they won't leave, and I just can't deal with them again after an incredibly long day yesterday.

 

I didn't think it was a big deal, after all everything has been fine ever since I started going there. Blood pressure, urine checks, weight, fundal height, fetal heartbeat, everything. My appointments generally don't last for more than 10 minutes and then I'm out the door.

But when I told the receptionist (who is normally very upbeat and easy going) that I wanted to cancel, she told me that it was really really really not recommended at this stage (39 weeks 2 days today) to skip a week, that I needed the check up, and that she couldn't tell me it was okay to cancel it. She kept asking me if I could come in another day this week, and kept saying how it's really not a good idea to skip an appointment and it is very very important to come in.

 

It made me feel equal parts worried and pissed off. Why is she trying to bully me into an appointment that I don't really see the need for? Or am I missing something? She made me feel like I am purposely putting my baby's health at risk by canceling the appointment. I don't know what to think. Any input very very much appreciated!

post #2 of 38

Maybe call back and say "would you routinely tell this to any woman at my stage in pregnancy? Or is there something specific that you need ME to come in for? Is there something you know that I don't??"

 

Women have been having babies for thousands of years without weekly appointments. (Heck, my midwives don't even do weekly appointments-even in the end.)

This could just be the OB mentality, getting their panties in a knot over routine. (They're quite dependant on their routine;)

All your tests have been normal so far, and you aren't high risk.

Unless there's some underlying issue, i'm sure you're fine!

post #3 of 38
Thread Starter 

The thing is, she's brought it up before. A few months ago I told her that my husband can only drive me on Mondays, and that it was quite possible that I'd have to skip an appointment at some time because there would be no one available to take me (he needs the car for work and he cannot take a day off because it won't be paid for and we can't afford to lose a day's pay). She also gave me the "oh no that is way too risky" spiel then, so I doubt there is any underlying issue they need to talk to me about. Besides, there are no outstanding test results to be evaluated. The more I think about it, the more I feel like she is trying to scare me into showing up, and I really really hate that. 

post #4 of 38

Sorry you are going through this, mama. It's hard not having transportation. What would you do if you were in labor today? I hope you have a way to get to your provider?

post #5 of 38

It's likely at least part of their reason are "cover your butt" related. If the standard of practice is to see mom every week, and mom skips a week and something happens to the baby- they don't want anyone suing them saying that they should have caught the issue, ya know?

 

Can you get a ride for later this week? If not, I wouldn't stress too much about it.

post #6 of 38

I missed that bit about your inlaws. Surely you'd be able to get to the birthing place if you needed to with family around.

post #7 of 38
Is there a drugstore you can walk to to check your blood pressure? That's the only thing I'd be concerned about at this point, because BP can go up suddenly the last week of pregnancy. Maybe you could also do a fetal kick count for an hour?
post #8 of 38

I would try to find a way to go, but not because I think your baby is in danger and definitely because of some pushy receptionist. I'm just the sort who likes my OB appts. and can't wait to get that weekly reassurance that all is well. My only two ideas which I'm sure you've already thought of are to ask your in-laws to drive you to the appt. but say up front that you're so sorry but you can't have them in afterward, that the doc told you everything is fine but that you need to go home and rest for the rest of the day ... OR, is there a friend who wouldn't mind taking you? Tall order probably, I know. I think it's good late in the game to get confirmation that all is well, but, not necessarily something to panic over ... comes down to your own comfort level more than anything else, right? Let us know how it goes.

post #9 of 38

I would also find a way to go, but that's me.  Accept the in-law drama in exchange for the ride? Eat the taxi fare, knowing that it's not a continued expense?  Entice yourself with a promise of a decaf mocha for the bus ride back?  At the very least, I'd go to the drug store for the pressure check. 

post #10 of 38
Quote:
Originally Posted by scottishmommy View Post

Is there a drugstore you can walk to to check your blood pressure? That's the only thing I'd be concerned about at this point, because BP can go up suddenly the last week of pregnancy. Maybe you could also do a fetal kick count for an hour?

I was going to suggest the same thing.
post #11 of 38
Thread Starter 

Thanks for the input, ladies, I appreciate it! I went to Walmart this morning to check my blood pressure, and it was 111 over 68, pulse 65. A little lower than last week at my appointment, when it was 120 over 75 if I recall correctly. I am conscious of the little dude's movement throughout the day, I keep tabs on it very diligently because I am just a little bit paranoid that way.

It's not that I am concerned about getting a ride (I know I can always ask the inlaws, I just don't want to), the thing that bothers me is the feeling I am somehow completely underestimating the importance of a weekly check up at this point. Combined with the fact that I feel like the receptionist is trying to scare me into coming in. I feel like "why is it such a big deal to have the ten minute check up on Tuesday or Wednesday instead of the following Monday?" if you know what I mean.

post #12 of 38

There are problems that can arise suddenly, and they are more likely at the end of pregnancy, which is why appointments pick up in frequency. So yes, technically it's a risk. Not a big one, but it's there.

 

For what it's worth, I personally missed a set of weekly appointments with all my various specialists a few weeks ago. (And I do mean all of them -- I had five appointments booked that day.) No one gave me a hard time about it, and I *am* high risk. I just rescheduled them all for the following week.

 

At this point, though, I would be a little uncomfortable going for two weeks without a BP check. But I'm at higher risk for pre-e and my BP spiked at the end of pregnancy last time, so I am extra concerned about that issue. (And drugstore machines are not terribly accurate.)

 

I totally understand what a hassle it is to get all the way out for an appointment when it is overwhelmingly likely that everything is fine.

 

Ugh. I wish the bus system was better for you. What a pain. hug.gif

post #13 of 38

I don't think you're risking your baby's well-being, and I definitely agree that the rhetoric is all motivated by CYA.  

 

That being said, though, I love getting the attention of a prenatal visit and never skip them.  I'd see if there's a friend who will take you.  I know how hard it is to ask for help, but it may be worth it in this instance!

post #14 of 38


DDCC but.... i wouldnt let it bother me i know how hellish a really bad transporation system could be, its really draining, and sometimes if its a system depends on the city that really specifically caters low low income and goes through sketchy neighborhoods, then i can completely understand not taking the bus.  its stressful anyways! i would stay home and watch a movie and eat some really powerfully nutritious smoothie : )

Quote:
Originally Posted by Snugglebugmom View Post

Thanks for the input, ladies, I appreciate it! I went to Walmart this morning to check my blood pressure, and it was 111 over 68, pulse 65. A little lower than last week at my appointment, when it was 120 over 75 if I recall correctly. I am conscious of the little dude's movement throughout the day, I keep tabs on it very diligently because I am just a little bit paranoid that way.

It's not that I am concerned about getting a ride (I know I can always ask the inlaws, I just don't want to), the thing that bothers me is the feeling I am somehow completely underestimating the importance of a weekly check up at this point. Combined with the fact that I feel like the receptionist is trying to scare me into coming in. I feel like "why is it such a big deal to have the ten minute check up on Tuesday or Wednesday instead of the following Monday?" if you know what I mean.



 

post #15 of 38

I would try not to worry about it.  As long as you feel ok and the baby is moving then chances are really good that you both are just fine.  

 

Sit back and relax.  They would just do the normal stuff and then possibly just want to check for dilation and that jazz.  Unless that is something you want then don't worry about not going.  

 

 

post #16 of 38
Thread Starter 

The question is moot this morning, because on the way home from taking my oldest to school, my three year old started throwing up. Not sure if it's a fluke or a stomach bug, but I'm not about to take that bug out to a doctor's office teeming with pregnant women. We'll see about tomorrow, and if she's not better, or I get sick too, that's all she wrote for this week (the OB won't be in the office on Thursday and Friday).

I thought my oldest was acting a little understated this morning, right now I'm hoping she won't start throwing up at school.  

post #17 of 38

well I am surely sorry your little one is sick, but its funny b/c I posted on your xposted thread that I lied about my kid being sick once to avoid going to an OB appt.

post #18 of 38
Thread Starter 

I saw! In my case it's ironic, because I had more or less decided to make the trek across the city on a bus (well, a few buses, what with transfers and all) this morning. She was really excited about it. Now she's lying on the couch with her blanket, pillow, and a big bucket sitting on the floor next to her. Poor thing. 

 

post #19 of 38
Chiming in late....I just cancelled an appointment and also got push back. I am 35+ weeks and somewhat high risk (gd). I was just at the hospital on Friday for an ultrasound/nst/perinatologist visit and it seemed ridiculous to go to the ob four days later. I have another appointment and nst next week. I am second-guessing myself now because they warned me I was going against medical advice. But really I feel like they are in CYA mode and wanted me to come in to check the box, not because it's actually essential to baby's health.
post #20 of 38
Thread Starter 

Nica, they took it one step further here and called me back today and asked me to go to L&D to get assessed if I really can't make it into the office this week. So I asked:"Exactly what is it that you guys are so afraid of happening? Is there something I need to know, something you haven't told me about?" And she said no, it's just that at this stage in pregnancy it is very important to get checked weekly. And that they would call again and check in with me tomorrow if I didn't go to L&D tonight. Sigh. You know what? At this point I am thinking it is just not worth the hassle. I will drag my 3 year old (who fortunately seems much better at the moment) and my 9-month-pregnant butt over to their office tomorrow, just to get them off my back. The bus trip should be fun, it will take about an hour not including time spent waiting at the terminal for the transfer. But I can promise you this, if my water breaks on the bus, there is going to be one pissed off pregnant lady kicking up dickens at the OB office. irked.gif

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Mothering › Mothering Forums › Archives › Pregnancy and Birth Archives › Due Date Clubs 2009 - 2012 › October 2011 › Am I risking my baby's well being? (X-posted in "I'm pregnant")