I feel like I am endangering my baby

[Snugglebugmom]

I just canceled my weekly check up at the OB's office due to not having a ride. His practice is clear across town, no convenient bus connection available, no money for a cab (which would probably add up to about 35 bucks one way) and I really really cannot hack having my inlaws over for the whole day again after putting up with them all day yesterday. I'm sure they won't mind coming over to take me, but they won't leave, and I just can't deal with them again after an incredibly long day yesterday.

I didn't think it was a big deal, after all everything has been fine ever since I started going there. Blood pressure, urine checks, weight, fundal height, fetal heartbeat, everything. My appointments generally don't last for more than 10 minutes and then I'm out the door.

But when I told the receptionist (who is normally very upbeat and easy going) that I wanted to cancel, she told me that it was really really really not recommended at this stage (39 weeks 2 days today) to skip a week, that I needed the check up, and that she couldn't tell me it was okay to cancel it. She kept asking me if I could come in another day this week, and kept saying how it's really not a good idea to skip an appointment and it is very very important to come in.

It made me feel equal parts worried and pissed off. Why is she trying to bully me into an appointment that I don't really see the need for? Or am I missing something? She made me feel like I am purposely putting my baby's health at risk by canceling the appointment. I don't know what to think. Any input very very much appreciated!

[philomom]

My local Red Cross gives free rides to the doctor. Run by volunteers, of course. Is there anything like that in your town?

[Snugglebugmom]

Thank you for the suggestion. My issue is not with getting a ride, it's with not understanding the importance of this particular weekly check up, especially since it's been pretty much a textbook pregnancy so far. Why is it such a big deal to move it from Wednesday to the following Monday? What difference do those few days make exactly? That, and the fact that I feel like the receptionist is trying to scare me into coming in without being able to give me a good reason, and without even listening to my replies. 

[Just1More]

Bah.  Nothing.  With my first, I deliberately skipped my 39w appointment because at the 38 week one she suddenly had lots to say about inducing and such.  I showed back up the day before I knew I was 40 weeks (and 4 days after they had determined I was.)  I heard them arguing in the hallway about "how did that lady get past 40 weeks?!?"  I felt pretty smug. 

Obviously keep an eye on how you feel, and baby movements and such, which you should be doing anyway.  You're fine.

[Gemini529]

You'll probably be fine but I can understand why they don't want you to skip it. Most practices will routinely see you once a week at least once you get to 36 weeks. Not to scare you or anything but I had a "textbook perfect pregnancy" up until I was almost 37 weeks. I went to my appointment thinking i'd be out of there in 10 min like always then head back to work. It turned out my blood pressure was super high out of nowhere. I was told not to go back to work and was put on bedrest. I have no risk factors for high blood pressure and am normally very low. It's not something you can know you have and it can put the baby in severe distress. So that's just one thing that could go wrong at the end. Seriously, I felt fine and was totally taken by surprise. I ended up going into labor early...the night before I was going to be induced. Bp didn't go back down.til after delivery and I had to be monitored the whole time I was in labor.

So anyway....while in most cases, you'd probably be fine to skip an appointment, the reason they are so cautious later on is because things can change very quickly at the end.

[Dov'sMom]

I don't know.

My midwifery practice was all horrified when I scheduled my biweekly appointments in the 7th month three weeks apart because they didn't have any appointments available I could make that second week. Lo and behold, they called me in the morning of my three week appointment to cancel because the midwife was sick and just said to come to my next regularly scheduled appointment two weeks later and call in if there was a problem. So it was terrible for me to schedule 2.5 weeks between appointments but fine for them to turn it into five weeks. Did I mention that they sent me to the ER when I called in a week earlier because of an infection and this appointment was supposed to be the in office follow up?

[Hykue]

I'm not sure what's going to happen here after I'm at 38 weeks, but they only have been scheduling me every 4 weeks throughout - I was scheduled at 34 and then again at 38.  I think it's because there's a lack of doctors here.

Is there somewhere nearby that you can monitor you blood pressure yourself?  If you have one of those blood pressure checkers in a pharmacy nearby you might go check it yourself just to be sure.  I'm not sure what other issues might arise near your due date, but that one should be pretty easy to check without going in, I would think.

[AbbieB]

You are not endagering your baby.

Your doctor's office can not say it's OK because of liability.

Yes, things happen, but it's not like there is a magic safe zone between weekly appointments. Something could happen an hour after an appointment, or one hour before.

Follow your doctors advice on what to be on the lookout for, call if anything seems off.

[emmaegbert]

I doubt that you are endangering your baby.

do check with your insurance too, if they can cover cost of transpo to "medically necessary"  appts? I am pretty sure mine does (though I have insurance specifically for low-income people.)

I canceled some stuff with my previous pregnancy b/c I was seeing two care providers anyway ("shadow care"), and didn't want to get pressured re induction and the NSTs that I was trying to avoid, I lied and claimed my son was sick so that I couldn't leave him and I didn't want to endanger other patients by bringing a sick child with me. I normally don't lie but I just really wanted to skip that 40w appt.

[StephandOwen]

Originally Posted by AbbieB 

Yes, things happen, but it's not like there is a magic safe zone between weekly appointments. Something could happen an hour after an appointment, or one hour before.

Very true. With my ds I went to an appointment at 38 weeks and all was fine. 2 days later I was admitted to the hospital for pre-eclampsia. Going to the doctor at 38 weeks had no effect on it, since I wasnt showing signs of it then (other than some swelling). I listened to my body though, when it felt like something was wrong.

[Gemini529]

Well, maybe you can get a ride to a Rite Aid or have a place you can walk to easily to take your blood pressure.  I don't know what else they might be looking for in those last weeks.  I imagine they'd test your urine for protein, check the baby's heart rate, all the stuff they normally look for.  Pay close attention to warning signs.  If you get a really bad headache, start seeing stars, are peeing a lot less than normal, then call your doctor.  The one thing that you might not be able to tell from listening to your body is high blood pressure.  They call it the silent killer for a reason.

Yes, I realize things can happen in between appointments.  The point of the weekly check up is to try to catch something before it gets out of hand or before it's too late.  Sometimes, there's nothing you can do, but often they can catch things in the early stages, like small amounts of protein in the urine or blood pressure creeping up.  Then they'll monitor you more closely.  Sometimes it's nothing.  Other times it isn't.  There are plenty of people on this site who are totally against any and all medical care during pregnancy and think it's all pointless.  I just don't happen to be one of them.  

FWIW, you have the odds on your side and you are probably FINE so don't let yourself stress out over it. I'm just giving you my personal experience and reasons why I wouldn't want to skip an appointment at the end.  I had a scary end to my last pregnancy so I'm biased.  You are almost there and you could be in labor right now for all we know!  Sending you good labor vibes and I hope you are doing well.

ETA: And I do agree with a PP that their reaction to you skipping is probably more them covering their butts.  If they were all like, "oohh, don't worry, it's fine!" and then something bad happened, they could be held accountable.

[Snugglebugmom]

I checked my blood pressure yesterday when we went shopping, and it was 111 over 65, pulse 67. My blood pressure has been consistently fine, so I am not worried about it suddenly going haywire. I check it whenever I spot one of those machines, it's become a bit of a compulsion lol. 

The whole question turned moot this morning, my three year old started throwing up and is lying on the couch with what looks like a stomach bug. No way am I exposing all these pregnant women at the OB's office to whatever bug this will turn out to be. I can only hope it will skip me. 

[Gemini529]

Sorry to hear! Poor baby! I hope you can avoid getting the virus/bug. That would be a terrible addition to labor!

[jenrose]

It gets ridiculous. If you can check your own bp and it's that normal while you're out and about, a five day wait for an appointment is just nothing.

I think I saw my midwife four times last pregnancy. I tracked a lot of stuff myself, still do.

The pee test is an archaic holdover that is being phased out in a lot of practices. 

Measuring the belly... if you're 39 weeks, it's no longer relevant, and there's nothing you're going to do about it one way or the other at this point.

Knowing the position of the baby might be useful, but you can probably figure it out yourself.

Blood pressure is worth knowing...but you can check that yourself.

They don't need to check dilation (especially when it's not the first, dilation before labor is just about meaningless)

Is baby moving normally? If not, worth getting seen whether you're having an appointment or not.

So unless you're having symptoms that need checking... what's the point?

[Dov'sMom]

Originally Posted by StephandOwen 


Very true. With my ds I went to an appointment at 38 weeks and all was fine. 2 days later I was admitted to the hospital for pre-eclampsia. Going to the doctor at 38 weeks had no effect on it, since I wasnt showing signs of it then (other than some swelling). I listened to my body though, when it felt like something was wrong.

I had a visit on a Monday. I called the office that Thursday with a problem (dark red and hot to the touch swelling on lower leg) and their first reaction was to say accusatorily, "But you were just here on Monday!" Yes, but I didn't have this problem when I was there on Monday, so why does that mean I don't have a valid reason to talk to the doctor now? (The doctor sent me to the ER posthaste, it was just the office staff that was obnoxious.)