I could really use some advice! DS (4) is in preschool part-time and LOVES it, but we have always wanted to try homeschooling until we tried this preschool thing and I have a nagging feeling that he's there for the wrong reasons. Which are mainly that, we initially enrolled him (last school year) b/c we had some speech and social/emotional concerns and wanted to see how he would do in a school setting with other kids. And now, though we don't have the developmental concerns anymore, he loved it last year so much that it just seemed natural to enroll him again this year. It also gives him a built-in way to get to play with other kids, do fun art activities, and get the structure that he really thrives on - which are things I'm admittedly not great at providing at home. I'm very much a "homebody" and also a major germaphobe (having him enrolled in school kind of forces me to suck up my germaphobic side) and even at home, we don't have a very structured day schedule at all, I don't plan a lot of activities and the kids (2 and 4) are very high-energy and love to be active. If they get bored of playing at home they ask for the TV and I give in way too often - another problem of mine. I also work from home very part-time and that makes it harder to be actively involved in their play all of the time. So for all those reasons, I'm afraid to take the plunge and take him out of preschool, because as it stands now he probably gets more out of half-day preschool than he'd be getting at home during that time. I know that must sound horrible. He also listens so much better to other adults these days- he has been so defiant with us lately, and running away in public places, but none of those things are happening at school.
But ultimately we'd like to try homeschooling and I've felt strongly about that until recently. Just seeing how much he thrives in the school setting makes me question it, but I still go back to my main reasons which are more longer-term and philosophical reasons. I've been telling people (and myself) that we're doing preschool just because it's fun for him and not because we don't plan to homeschool anymore, but in reality maybe it's because I kind of suck at being a SAHM/WAHM and am "putting off" getting better at it. There will probably always be different behavior challenges at every age (and we need to address those things as they come either way) and I'm not going to wake up when the kids are 6 and 7 or something and suddenly be a more organized, motivated, non-homebody, non-germaphobic parent. I need to address those issues now, even if DS stays in preschool, b/c his younger sibling deserves to get out and do more fun stuff too.
So then the main hesitation to pull him out at this point is that he enjoys it so much there. I'm not thrilled with his teacher this year or the program compared to last year's school, but it's nothing harmful at all, and he loves it. He just thrives in that environment so much, and why pull him out for no real reason? It's just this nagging feeling, probably partly feeling convicted about my need to improve as a SAHM especially if I want to homeschool, but also this weird feeling like he just doesn't need to be there. WWYD? Sorry for all the rambling, I hope this makes some sense! Thanks for reading!