What happens after you file?

[Guestmama123]

I'm getting ready to do this and want to know what to expect. I have a million questions: how is it determined who stays in the house and who goes? How do expenses get divided in the interim? How is it determined where the kids are when?

I'm especially interested in hearing from people who separated when they were not financially independent and held the majority of childcare responsibilities.

This is so stressful.

Thanks!

[NolaRiordan]

If one person hasn't already moved out usually one person files for sole use of the property in order to force the other one out. There is also usually an interim order for expenses and parenting time until a permanent agreement is reached. But a lot depends on the state you are in. Sounds like you are doing this without a lawyer?

[Guestmama123]

Originally Posted by NolaRiordan 

If one person hasn't already moved out usually one person files for sole use of the property in order to force the other one out. There is also usually an interim order for expenses and parenting time until a permanent agreement is reached. But a lot depends on the state you are in. Sounds like you are doing this without a lawyer?

I'm definitely using a lawyer and am in the process of choosing one now. But I like to have an idea of what to expect and knowing a little about the process makes it easier to interview potential lawyers because I'm not completely overwhelmed with new information.

Does a lawyer or mediator help set up the interim order?
 

[tccandlsccmom]

It depends on how amicable the separation is....you can come to some sort of agreement on your own (usually with the help of a lawyer), but if you don't agree then the court gets involved in the actual decisions.  Decisions re property and custody depend on state law....some states prefer 50-50 and some prefer sole custody.  If there is any disagreement, it helps to have proof of your historical role with the kids, etc.

Good luck and stay strong!

[floss&ferd]

Make sure you have copies of all important financial documents.  Including bills, taxes, etc.

Like pp, it really depends on how amicable everyone is.