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[jamesong55]

I recently left husband after14 years of hell. So I filed and moved but my first court date isn't until nov. 1st. I live in indiana I was wondering if anyone knows when we will start having to help me with the kids. I don't make alot so I was wondering??

Tia.

Tina

[tccandlsccmom]

First, hug.  This is a hard time for you  Second, I don't know Indiana law but I suspect that until after the first hearing, anything your ex provides will be voluntary.  Are you in a position to discuss it with him?  Have you asked your attorney?

[jamesong55]

I am going to call my attorney today he goes from coroporating to arguing. He keeps threatening to fight for the kids. He doesn't like that I go to work at 5 AM and drop the kids off at 20 till 5. He thinks that's enough reason to get them but at least they now get fed before unlike when he got them ready for school and then they were there until 6 pm where now in the evening only about 10-15 minutes after the bus drops them off. So they r at the sitter less. He is just used to controlling us.

When he brought the furniture Monday he was so pissy that he just left everything in the living room and last night he got mad because I had to have a guy come from work to help with beds and washer and dryer. I mean what does he expect it's a two story townhouse I couldn't get it myself I don't know what else I was supposed to do?? I really don't care what he thinks anymore but when he's on the phone with the kids he keeps saying things like they won't have to be doing this much longer. I think it's going to get ugly and I want to be really fair but I don't think that's going to be an option. You know I have to see him for the rest of my life and I dont want anything other than to be away and happy with my kids

[jamesong55]

Also first court date isn't until nov1st

[Mom31]

This is not the time to be nice. You got out for a reason and this is not the man who needs to have your kids. I hope you got a great lawyer.  Have faith mama.... I went thru a very ugly custody battle and was too nice in beginning.

Some tips :

Lawyers

Read the retainer agreement if there is not a retainer agreement ask for one.

Phone calls to the lawyer offices cost big bucks. no matter if it is a 1 min convo they charge you for 15 min. which is a lot of money.  ( upwards of $50)

So gather your questions and be direct and to the point to get your moneys worth .

DOCUMENT EVERYTHING EVERYTHING EVERYTHING

Keep a notebook and a calender.  Courts want to see the kids with the parent who tries to work with the other parent not antagonize and hurt the opposite parent by use of the kids.  (One reason I ended up with full custody was because xh antagonized me for years using kids as weapons... courts cited that in the decision)

Make sure you have the kids the majority of the time they are not in day care. and write it down.

I would contact the Womens shelter or womens services in your area and see if they can guide you thru this time. Many have a legal advocate, counseling services for you and your kids.  As well as there being support groups, and simply said they know the ropes.

Have you been to the human services office yet? They may be able to help you with food expenses.

This is such a hard time. Good for you for getting out. Take care of yourself. Stay strong.

Peace

Em

Edited by Mom31 - 9/28/11 at 4:21am