Originally Posted by Jaimee
Yep, two... Christina's and Bubbagirl (she posted on the due date forum). I asked her to come over here and post her birth story.
Jasmin, I'm sorry to hear how you're feeling, but I have to say that I totally empathize! I am getting more and more anxious as the weeks go by. I feel like ds needs to make some major improvements to his sleep patterns before I can handle having a newborn. And yet there is no way to force him to make these changes! I want him going to bed earlier and I want him letting dh comfort him at night. I would like dh to put him down at night as well and take care of his potty needs in the night (he wakes to pee usually). But dh has different ideas about nighttime parenting than I do and he just lets ds squirm around until he finally pees in his diaper and falls back asleep. I want to transition ds to his own room, too, but since he still wakes in the night, that will mean that he will get out of bed, come look for us, wake himself up completely, and then it will be a real chore to get him back down- one that likely only I will be able to do. I cannot imagine waking to feed and change a newborn several times a night AND laying in bed with ds to get him back down. I would be up ALL FREAKING NIGHT. And it's not like I can take naps during the day! I've got two other kids! ARGH!!!!
I have to keep telling myself that I've got two more months and a lot can change in two months. I have to tell myself that other mamas have done this before me and they survived, I will too. My 65 year old neighbor and the old lady at the park keep telling me that it will all be over in a blink of an eye and it will all be okay. I guess I just have to BELIEVE!
Jaimee, my advice is to prioritize what you need with your ds. When I was getting close to dd2 being born, I knew I needed dd1 to go to sleep at a reasonable time. So I lowered my expectations on everything else. I didn't worry about potty training for a while. (I had two in diapers for 6 months). I also tried not to worry about how my xh was getting dd1 to sleep. Instead, I just let him do his thing. She was completely out of our bed at that point, though, so that made it easier. I still had to do a lot, though. (Obviously, xh wasn't a big help... hence the X part.) I do remember many, many evenings of lying in dd1's bed with her nursing on one side and the baby on the other. I also remember getting the baby to sleep in her crib for a few minutes and then spending that time nursing and rocking dd1.
My advice would be to focus on your husband getting your ds to sleep and to get him to bed before 10. I super crazy need my adult time in the evenings. Ever since my girls were old enough to understand, I've claimed to be "off duty" at 8. :) This was especially important as I had them by myself from the time one was 4 yrs and the other 15 months. I would go insane without some alone time at the end of the day.
My other piece of advice, which may or may not help, is to try to believe it will pass. I know that is what will get me through this time. I used to stress out about all of those sleep/ nursing/ baby issues. And now I have a house full of girls, and the most I have to do is remind dd6 to take a shower and brush her teeth. There is no rocking, nursing, bathing, etc. Everyone can make their own food, clean up any messes, put themselves to bed, etc. I can't believe how it flew by. (Not to say they aren't new and exciting problems that come with older kids, of course... but it is different!) That advice of "this too shall pass" used to make me crazy. Now it makes perfect sense. I know it will help me when I have problems with this baby. It's such a small time in the entire process of parenting.