Originally Posted by Kuba'sMama
Same here. My dh jumps right into the thick of it most nights. He takes them out to the park in nice weather, plays board games, lego, leads the scouting groups, takes them to dads' community events, etc. He is more of the "fun parent" and i'm more of the cooking/cleaning/organizing parent but that's fine with me! If it helps, he did come more into his own as a father as the years went by and he does still nap on the weekends while i never do ( so y'all don't get the idea that everything is perfect ), but on weeknights we are definitely a team!
I would talk and explain how you ladies feel. Men are not exactly perceptive and most have no idea what we go through in a day. Spelling out the obvious might make a big difference! Ultimately it's their own choice of what kind of dad and husband they want to be though.
This is us to a T, except for the park part- DH doesn't do the park. But he plays endlessly with them each evening. Honestly, my DC wouldn't have it any other way. They hear our garage opening and are waiting by the car for him to get out :) If he wants time to himself he goes to lunch during his workday and the gym. Early evenings are for family time.
Want to add that we have always had early bedtimes for our DC. When they were very little and exhausting, we put them to bed even earlier. So DH knows that his relaxation will come each evening. It's just more on our terms.
This may be something to consider, OP if you don't have this in place already. Personally, I couldn't work hard all day and come home to work more unless I knew an endpoint was coming.
Originally Posted by purplerose
I would highly recommend to those of you whose dh's aren't so helpful...on his day off, go out and leave the kids with him for a whole day! Leave a messy house. Expect the house to be cleaned and the kids ready for bed(or in bed, depending on when you come home). There's no excuse for dads to be so unhelpful. I know and understand that we all want time to ourselves, and working's not exactly fun, either, but as adults, we do what must be done.
I agree. And I also think men are better at taking the time they need for themselves without feeling guilty or getting upset about it first. I used to get bummed out that DH always gets to be the fun guy while I'm stuck cooking, cleaning, or directing everyone to the next part of the routine. Now i often kiss him and go retreat into my room for a bath. Or I let him know I'm heading out for a yoga class that evening. Or I curl up with my laptop and tune out after dinner and dishes before bedtime routines.
Everyone needs a break :) he gets plenty too.