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Expecting our RAINBOW babies - graduates of "hoping, healing & conceiving again" tread 2011 - Page 19

post #361 of 514

Violet? Any updates? privateeyes.gif

post #362 of 514

Just a few minutes, try to type all that up again...


MAnna, so glad your ultrasound was great. And what a jerk of a doctor, seriously. Since when does how many children you have or are planning to have up to your doctor to comment on? And then make up statistics based on that? Glad you wrote about him on review sites, hopefully someday he will read them and get a clue. I've been wondering how your friend is. Did you decide to tell her about your pregnancy or wait?


Violet, hoping your ultrasound was spectacular today, and that you are feeling a little bit better. It sure is miserable to feel awful all the time. Hoping it is a short lived thing and not an entire pregnancy thing for you.


milk, I'm not sure if you are checking in here but just in case I just wanted to say how sorry I am for another loss. I'm so heartbroken for you.


ek, it sounds like you are in a better spot about a possible c-section. I'm a doula and all about natural birth, but I'm more all about the mother's sanity. If a c-section will bring you peace of mind, it is absolutely the best decision for you. Another way to look at it too - if you really feel you have ptsd regarding the situation, you likely would have HUGE blockages during labor. Blockages can really prevent a woman from opening to give birth. You might end up in an emergency c-section situation if that were to happen, might just be better to plan for it from the get go?


stacey, Hoping you have a fantastic scan tomorrow. If all goes well, when is your NT screening? I know that is the date you're waiting for.


zub, also hoping for a great scan for you tomorrow. With as rotten as you feel I think things can only be good. I'm sorry about your little guy keeping you up all night, that certainly makes for long days!


Rainey, hoping you have been getting some rest and feeling better too.


AFM, I had my m/w appointment yesterday. Baby is doing great, heartbeat was 148. I tried to listen with the fetoscope but couldn't hear it. My midwife and her apprentice both did though, she said it was very strong and she found it quite quickly. I'm still not able to find much protein I want to eat. Tomorrow is dentist day, here's hoping it goes well. Hope everyone is doing ok today, it's been quiet.

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Yay!  I saw the heartbeat!  115/ minute.  I measured 6 weeks 4 days which is exactly what I thought.  I'll post a pic soon.  -Violet

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Oh Violet!! Yay!! That's exactly what I measured yesterday and my hr was 117!  (You have just made me feel SO much better!!) What due date did they give you? Can't wait to see the picture!!

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I wasn't given a due date but she did say I was one day off from the first day of my last period (which was Sept 4th).    According to "the wheel" my due date is June 10th.  That date doesn't really matter to me, just around about date is fine.  

My little daughter spilled the beans at school today.  She told one of her friends, who then told her mom, who then said something to me about my big news in front of a whole group of moms.  They are all wonderful, sweet women and a lot of them knew anyways.  It was too much to ask, and really not that appropriate to ask a six year old to keep a secret.  Whatever!  -Violet

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Oh Violet, that is wonderful news! So happy for you! Can't wait to see the pic. How are you doing today?

lovenadlight, love the new name! Good luck tomorrow.... let us know how it goes.


Stacey praying.gif Good luck tomorrow, mama. I predict very good things!


MAnna, so glad you got that off your chest. The Dr sounds like a paternalistic, arrogant old-schooler. it makes my blood boil. But so glad you've connected with some other possible providers. It makes such a difference to feel as though someone is in your camp.


ek, yes, I was talking about Otis' mum. It was definitely the right thing for her, though she also laments not having a natural birth leading to a live child in her experience. She actually went into labor a month early so things didn't go quite as planned, although everything turned out beautifully!


AM: DS is doing great, thank goodness. But he's eating us out of house and home! Wednesday is my super busy day at work but for half of my 3 hour class we watched a film and I was able to leave early when a student volunteered to take care of the film afterward. But every time I think about the scan tomorrow I feel as though I'm about to have a heart attack. I wish you could all come with me. I am having horrible flashbacks to my last three scans and since it all happened so recently I'm having a hard time to feel zen about it. I DO feel differently this time around - much closer to how I felt with DS - but I have 'blighted ovum' and 'no cardiac activity running mantras in my mind.. I am trying so hard to really picture myself receiving good news, but, oof, it's hard for that to feel true and possible. Both DH and I have sort of taken days off so we can deal with whatever news we receive. We're planning on a much desired to the cinema if things work out well, and if not, a day on the couch crying, watching copious amounts of TV.


TMI, I know, but i haven't had a bowel movement in days and days. I know it's pregnancy plus the zofran plus not enough liquid plus not enough food! Also feeling super lightheaded all the time so I spoke with my Dr's nurse today. I may need to go in for another appointment to see if I am hydrated enough. With DS I had to have a few IVs of fluid now and again because it was so hard to stay hydrated.


And in spite all of the dread I feel about tomorrow, I keep on jumping ahead to June and the arrival of a new baby and I am so happy when I think about that. I just want it so badly - as we all do. Much love, all.

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ooh, x-posted, V. Lovely, lovely picture! Perfect! And, yes, very hard to expect a 6 year old to keep a secret!

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Zubeldia- I am having the same problem as you (your TMI).  I finally ate some veggies today, dipped in ranch.  I took a cal/mag yesterday and that helped.  Ugh, it's brutal and just makes me feel so much yuckier.  

loveandlight- Who did you contact to help change your user name?  I tried a moderator but I haven't heard anything.  


Looking forward to tomorrow's scans!  -Violet

post #370 of 514
I'm still kind of shaking my head after I caught wind of a not so sensitive string of comments my grandmother made. My grandmother was trying to get names for our baby out of my preggo cousin, knowing that we're close. My cousin wouldn't give in. My grandma seriously asked if we're going to reuse the name we gave to our miscarried child! "Well, it IS her favorite name, and the child isn't alive." My cousin sternly told her there was no way in Hell I'd reuse the name of other child for this one. Yeah. Thanks, Grandma. I never said it was my favorite name, just that I liked it. Then we used it to name our little angel, and I can't imagine reusing the name just because Avalon is in heaven, and not in our arms. My cousin was pretty appalled, too. irked.gif
post #371 of 514

I'm sorry cameragirl. I know back several decades to another century ago it was very common to use a name again if the first child died. I think sometimes it was because it was a "family name" (you know, like "jr.") but other times, well, I just don't know. Anyway, it is sad that your grandma said that, but given the generation not horribly startling. I'm glad your cousin was there to stick up for you and that you didn't have to deal with it directly.


Violet: Great picture!! Thanks for sharing! (: I've had more of an IBS thing going on with me. It's not fun either. :(


Zub: I wish I could go with you too. I didn't tell you all, but there was some sort of miscommunication and they didn't have me on the schedule for an u/s and weren't going to do one. Only after I said that I really needed to know if there was a live baby in there considering the last time I had been there the baby was dead, and started tearing up, did they reconsider and squeeze me in. :( Anyway, I'm sure it will be fine, given how awful you've been feeling. It's in the morning, right? Tell us what time so we can be thinking about you. And you too Stacey.


loveandlight: Yay for a good appt and heartbeat!! I can't wait to get to the point where I can just whip out my stethescope and listen in but that's going to be quite a while. My sister is sending me a doppler of hers but it's not the "official" kind so I may not be able to hear anything for another few weeks. And yes, I told my friend last night (you're so sweet to remember her). She took it really well and was only disappointed that I didn't call and tell her in person! She's obviously a much better person than I am because I would have cried my eyes out! *eye roll* She's insisting on making the baptismal gown but I told her to wait a while (like 8 more months) before she starts sewing.


AFM: We're telling the kids tonight! Just got back from church and I've got a back ache and feel crampy from the standing, such as it was (I sat down a lot). It makes me nervous in a way that I never would have been before the mc. I'm trying to remind myself that the "growing pains" are normal....right??

post #372 of 514

Totally not related to pregnancy, but I'm feeling rather proud of myself at the moment. I didn't want my poor peanut allergic Bug to feel deprived at the potlucks we have (every Monday night for Bible study...and we've got one coming up on Saturday for a church workday...and they come up occasionally elsewhere as well). 


So I made him some "potluck packs"!! In a gallon ziplock I put a disposable plate, a paper towel to be used as a placemat, two napkins, a disposable bib, and a disposable spoon. I put a fruit cup and a single serve mac and cheese cup in there as well. Then in a quart sized ziplock I put little snack baggies that I had portioned out of craisins, goldfish crackers, and some allergen free cookies. ..and that went into the gallon ziplock as well. Now I just need to put a juice box in each one and he will be set where I can just grab one and go when there's a potluck meal. 


Yeah, it's not the healthiest of meals, but it's enough food that he will have a nice plateful of stuff and won't have to feel deprived. I will also, of course, make sure that whatever I bring for the potluck is allergen-free and dish him up some of that before everyone else goes through the line.

post #373 of 514
Originally Posted by Matushka Anna View Post

AFM: We're telling the kids tonight! Just got back from church and I've got a back ache and feel crampy from the standing, such as it was (I sat down a lot). It makes me nervous in a way that I never would have been before the mc. I'm trying to remind myself that the "growing pains" are normal....right??

Disconcerting, but totally normal. I definitely felt more crampy this time than I did with my first pregnancy. Oh, and I'm not surprised by my Grandmother's comments, really. She's got absolutely no filter. None. I swear she'll survive forever because she's full of *&^% and vinegar.
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As for pregnancy related. I have been having a little more nausea, but it's still light and comes in random waves. I found some pregnancy saltines of all things at a closeout store today...they come in little packs that are just enough to stave off nausea and have ginger and B6 in them!! I think I'm gonna buy some beef jerky to keep on hand as well for protein (cause eggs are just grossing me out right now...just like with my pregnancy with Bug). 


Went to the children's hospital today to try to work out financial stuff with them over Bug's stay two weeks ago. Since the big baby-friendly hospital is right across the street I decided to check it out and got to get a mini-tour of a birthing room there (one with a birthing tub). The nurse who was showing it to me was telling me all about how baby-friendly they are....baby gets skin to skin contact and a chance to nurse right away and babies always room in if they don't have to be in the NICU. I was very impressed...and I am a person who just does NOT like hospitals as a general rule....they make me feel claustrophobic a bit and smell funny to me. 


I think we are re-thinking the whole nurse-midwife thing...and are gonna try again to set up an appointment (this at the urging of my midwife friend) and just stress that this first appointment is to meet the midwife/midwives and get an idea of procedure and cost...and if we feel comfortable then we will proceed as soon as possible to set up a regular actual appointment. 


I am a bit nervous about having waited this long to be seen...especially with the two miscarriages I've had this year...but I am hoping things will progress quickly and hope that I'll have some appointment news to share myself within the next week or two. I am trying to take it as a good sign that this pregnancy has been the most like the one I had with Bug and not so much like the other two (and crazily enough, I am due just one month and one week earlier in the year than I was with Edmund...so the seasons of maternity clothes I have will pretty much work again)!! 

post #375 of 514

Violet- Yay! Great news!


CameraGirl- Sorry you had a bad experience with your grandma.


LoveandLight- I think you asked me about when I was going to have my Nuchal Screening - I will have it sometime between 11-13 weeks. I will have my u/s tomorrow, then if all is good, I will have another at around 9 weeks, then the Nuchal Screening....


Zub- You WILL get good news tomorrow!


Manna- I want to know how your kiddos reacted? I want to tell my DD because she thinks I've had the flu for the past few weeks, but I just can't yet....I am so nervous about everything...I haven't even updated my siggy on here...I may do it tomorrow if I get good news, but I may wait.....


AFM- My u/s appt is at 3pm. My grandma is watching DD, so I probably won't be able to post any news until like 5pm east coast time. FX.......I should measure like 7 1/2 weeks...I won't know the heartrate, I will just see the flicker again...hopefully!

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The kids had just sat down for supper and DH said, "Your mother and I want to tell you that we're expecting another baby."


That was it.


They were surprised, mouths hanging open, and happy. The questions: How long have you known? Is it a boy or a girl? When will it be born? If Innocent were alive we'd have seven kids.


Pretty simple actually. I was sort of cracking up at how casual DH was. I reminded him before we went to the table to tell the kids and he said, "tell them what?" (: Then he remembered. He said he keeps forgetting. Then he mimed being shocked as if I were just telling him. "You're what?!?!" LOL!

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hiya, all. Very quickly - as I'm on my way to bed for a nervous night - but my scan is at 7"30am! Isn't that crazily early? But I didn't want to be there with lots of happy pregnant women going for their later scans (like last time). It was brutal walking out through the waiting room knowing my baby had died. Ooh, I am so nervous!


Stacey! I will be thinking of you at 3!!


Night all.

post #378 of 514

Hi guys - just checking in. I cannot WAIT to hear about the scans tomorrow!


violet - yay for the bean! :)


MAnna - your story about DH made me laugh. My DH does that kind of thing too - "what? you're WHAT?" Ha.


RaineyDaye - good luck with the midwives - keep us posted!


cameragirl - re: your grandma. Just...ick. So sorry. Funny how people really put their foot in it sometimes and not even know it - when we told my aunt (who's outspoken but really helpful in lots of ways, just not particularly empathetic) about DS2's name, she said (a) she did not like it, and (b) "well, at least you used it up so it's no longer on the name list for your next living child." I almost hung up on her. This was 2 weeks or less after he died. Since then, she's been super-helpful and supportive, so I am trying to forget how much that hurts. It seems like you are getting a good perspective on it though.


AFM - well, a couple of things. First of all, huge storm going on here, a little worried tree limbs will be coming in the windows soon, so windy! Otherwise, wiped out because DS1 did not fall asleep until 10:15 because we're working on getting him to sleep alone, i.e., not with someone 3 feet away on the floor. Should have done it a while ago, but...sigh. Finally fell asleep after I'd been sitting in the doorway to his room for 45 minutes...!


Pregnancy related: l scheduled my level 2 (not sure what that means!) ultrasound. It's not until - get this - December 5th! No scans until then. That's like an eternity. Also...and I might be absolutely crazy, but I'm freaking out a little bit because I think I started feeling some movement tonight. I'm 15 weeks plus, so I guess it's possible...I wish I could go back to that person who got excited about it, but I'm still so shellshocked from my last loss that my reaction is all over the place and hard to describe. I just hope I get used to it soon....


I really should go to bed now, if I can get past the sound of this storm...good night all!

post #379 of 514
It's happening again. Not good news. Very slow growth and not much hope.
post #380 of 514

Zub, what were you measuring? (((((((hugs))))))))) Honey, I wish I were there with you...

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