Ugh, I just feel F'ing lousy for being so many things on the other TTCAL threads: douche-like, insensitive, self-centered, stupid, and many, many more things. (Sorry, especially to milk for posting what is probably an unreliable, un-replicated study). I would be sad and cross too, And I do think it's a special kind of hell when you have no children. I don;t know that the longing is different (at least for me, and I was surprised \by that) but when you lose a baby first time mums also are mourning the loss of being a Mum, full-stop.
Anyway, I just don't know what to to. I truly don't believe that I'll be taking a baby home at the end of this, and when some real hope seeps in I feel so utterly stupid, like I am setting myself up.