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Hi everyone -new here!

post #1 of 5
Thread Starter 

Hi! I'm really glad to have found this place. Most of the fertility sites on the net don't have much of a place for lesbian couples.


My name is Rebecca. I'm 28. My partner and I have been trying to conceive for a year and a half. We've only done three rounds of AI because I haven't been ovulating properly. I recently got diagnosed with PCOS and we just got in to see an RE. He thinks he can get me ovulating properly, but he also thinks we're going to need to do IUI.


I'm worried about this, because we don't have a lot of money (who does in this economy?) and it looks like it will cost us about $800 a cycle, with the sperm, shipping, etc. A lot of sites say it takes 5 or more cycles to conceive. Has that been the case for the people on here?


Also, we've decided to use Xytex. We like their site and they seem to have good reviews and decent pricing. California Cryo is a lot more expensive and Fairfax has awful reviews.

post #2 of 5

Welcome to Queer Parenting, rs11! 


You'll find all kinds of support for whatever you're going through here.  I completely understand the concerns with how expensive this whole process can be, it's daunting at best.  My recommendation would be to get yourself checked out and cleared up and medicated properly before spending the boatloads of cash to do inseminations.  I realize that may be a very frustrating suggestion, because as we all know, we just want to get started right away and of course, the decision is yours and your partners'.  


There are lots of people here who have PCOS, you won't be alone in your endeavor to get pregnant - and a lot of the PCOS queers are successful!  As far as how long it takes, unfortunately you just can never know.  There are folks who get pregnant first try, and for others they are still trying after a couple years.  There are so many factors.  Of course I'm sure you know.  


Sperm banks: you will undoubtedly find a lot of people here with differing opinions.  Everyone's opinions and reasons for choosing who they choose are their own and if you feel Xytex is a good fit for your family, good for you!  There are a few sperm bank threads I believe, you may have to search back into the archives to find them though.  

Lastly, and the most important reason for my reply, I'm going to suggest you join the thread Queer Conceptions.  It's a monthly chat thread for those of us trying to conceive.  There are a lot of people with tons of experience and good advice, and everyone is very supportive.  It can be such a relief to find a group of people who understand what it takes to achieve queer pregnancy!  The first page is where you can find the details of everyone and where they are in the process, and the chat thread begins after that.  Someone creates a new thread every month.  

Hope to see you there soon!  Again, welcome. 

post #3 of 5

Welcome!  I just wanted to throw in something I remembered from my first round of inseminations - I read somewhere that it would take an average of 3-6 tries to get pregnant.  I remember my sister (a physician and mom) told me to mentally prepare for at least 6, and that was really tough.  I wanted to be one of those lucky women who got pregnant the first time!  It took 5 tries......a lot of money, a lot of frustration, a lot of waiting, etc., etc.  It was painful at times (mentally, not physically), but my best advice is to try to maintain your sense of humor, if that's possible!  Good luck!

post #4 of 5

Welcome.  Yeah, it's really expensive.  I could have a very nice grid tied solar energy system for what I have spent on TTC.  


Statistically it's hard to get pregnant.  A few people get lucky early on.  Knowing about the PCOS and treating that should help.  IUI isn't bad, most recently I got pregnant my first round of IUI, cycle 4.


post #5 of 5
Thread Starter 

Thanks everyone!


The money thing is a real issue for us; we do not have a lot to spare. Our first rounds of insemination were done at home with a known donor, so it was much cheaper.


My visit with the RE yesterday went very well. They did an US and bloodwork. I have a mild case of PCOS (his words, not mine), but it doesn't look like I can ovulate on my own right now. The bloodwork showed me at baseline. They gave me a prescription for a different ovulatory med, since I was sensitive to Clomid when my OB put me on it, and said that, assuming my the rest of the tests come back okay (mostly insulin and thyroid screens) we can start trying to jump start my cycle pretty much anytime. I forgot to mention that my old OB put me on Clomid last year to help induce ovulation. I only used it the once, and boy did it work, big time; I matured EIGHT follicles (and more that didn't quite mature) that month and ended up with hyperstimulation.


One thing that concerns me is that he said I didn't need to have a period before trying to inseminate; he said as long the meds make me ovulate we could do it the first month. That really concerns me, because I thought that it was harder to get pregnant if the lining was old, and that is why a lot of OBs try to induce AF before trying.


Our plan right now is still to try around the end of this year/beginning of next. We might try the meds one month before to see if they work.


Again, thanks. I'll look for the threads on sperm banks. Xytex has been our top choice because of the relative affordability, the good reviews, and the fact that it's very close to us. We wouldn't touch Fairfax unless it was free, and California Cryo is too expensive.

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