Describe preschool for a 3 yr old

[babygirlie]

I'm just curious. EI mentioned again when she turns 3 she will be going to preschool. I tried to get some info but all I got is don't worry about it they will pick her up in a bus, which I really can't imagine because if she gets any kind of freedom.. like stepping off of a bus she will be LONG gone down a street. I would be happy to work extra hours for gas to take her myself. She also said If I had not potty trained her by then they probably will and I shouldn't worry about it. The idea relieves me yet kinda worries  me a stranger is going to be doing that for some reason.

So what is preschool like for a 3 year old with disabilities? Is it a sept-June thing? Is it every day? 2 hours? 1 hour? 5 hours? Is it a room in a regular school? How do I know which school she will be going to? What if she bites somebody? What if somebody bites her?

We had severe cutbacks in my town so things are very messy here right now and it's taken several months to get back to seeing an EI even and we're back to a regular one not specialty. She isn't even from here, she has to drive an hour to work. Granted perhaps our conversations could be better as her English is a bit  broken (mexican-american) but she seems like a really nice person.

I'm just nervous she is going to run away at first break which is what she does, kids will make fun of her... she can't talk yet, or all those teachers getting the live flu shot and getting her sick with God knows what and she's not vaxed and I WILL not vax a disabled child. Or all those germy kids being sent off regardless (I'm a pretty big germ freak. I don't like to be sick or for her to be sick. I make her wash her hands every time we get home from the store even when I wipe the cart down with sanitizer. I'm not HOwie Mandell but I'm getting there.) My plan before even meeting her was to homeschool her and now she is being shoved into the school system even sooner than I ever thought I'd have to worry about these things (but yes she needs to go because she needs to see how kids act and I also might go crazy if I don't get "respite" care of some kind. She also, honestly, hates being home. She wants to run outside so badly and do stuff that isn't here. Her speech therapist even locks her in a room because elsewise she will just run off in the big play area and I guess she doesn't like chasing her either.

Ok I'm stopping.. starting to vent.

[Kokolove]

Hi girlie, I get why you are so nervous.  My son has been going to special needs preschool for almost a year now, and I remember being in your shoes.  Maybe I can help put some of your fears to rest.

1.  The Bus.  You don't have to send her on the bus if you don't want to.  I was offered busing but turned it down so I could drive my son myself.  He is similar to your daughter - a runner who would try to get away at every possible chance!  I felt better taking him myself.  However, if driving her is burdensome for you, you can request a bus aide for her, who will ride alongside her and walk her into the building. 

2.  The School Year.  Most schools go Sept to June, but your child's IEP can specify an Extended School Year.  Usually it is an additional 4-6 weeks of instruction in the summer.  If you think she needs it, make sure it is included on the IEP.  If you don't want it, you can decline.

3.  Placement.  If your daughter is capable of being placed in a general education preschool class with children who are not disabled (i.e. "mainstream"), she will be probably placed there.  However, if she is always trying to run away, you will probably want to request a 1:1 aide to be with her all day, for her safety.  If she needs a smaller class with more personalized attention from the teacher, she will be placed into a classroom for children with disabilities.  Usually those classes have 5-8 kids, a teacher, and at least 1 aide. 

4.  If your daughter bites someone, the school will probably do a Functional Behavior Analysis to determine why she bit and how it can be prevented from happening again.  If someone bites her (or if she gets hurt in any other way), the school should call you right away.

5.  Vax.  The school will require certain shots, unless you get a waiver for religious or philosophical reasons.  It is pretty easily done, but you should check what the laws are in your state so you can be ready when they ask for the shot records.  Even though my son has autism, I still get him a flu shot every year because it spreads like wildfire at school, and I hate to have him get sick (he catches everything!). 

6.  Respite.  You love your baby, but you will TREASURE the time she is out at school each day.  You can actually get some things done!  And if the teacher is good, your child will learn and grow in ways you never imagined.  My son has come so far in a year, and I attribute it to his awesome teacher, his two caring aides, and his school-based therapists.  He didn't like going at first, but after a couple of weeks, he was begging to go to school, even on the weekends.  It is really fun for them. 

Hugs to you!

[~cassie]

I agree with everything the above poster said :)

My son did not ride the bus.  But we apparantly get paid to bring him to school so we get a check every month to pay for mileage.  The bus here though had the driver as well as 1 aide on the bus.  Potty training is no big deal.  My son was 3 and in the self contained classroom(only kids with a disability) and I would say about 1/2 the class was not potty trained and they do change diapers and encourage pottying in the toilet. 

As to how many hours/days-we were able to pick and choose what we wanted based on what our child needed and could tolerate.  We chose 3 days a week and did a full day-8-2pm.  Different schools/districts offer different things.  My kid is "just" deaf and needed the language mainly but also needed the interaction with kids.  So his needs were a lot less than the little boy with autism and the other girl with a brain injury.  Those 2 went every day all day.

Plenty of kids are runners.  The teachers learn very quickly which ones are and they will take all precautions and may give her an aide in those particular environments.

I was scared to death with my son going in to a self contained classroom.  BUT he thrived and did so well!  There was 1 teacher and 4! aides with 10 children.  And don't be surprised if she acts differently at school than home.  My son does a total 180 and his teachers couldn't believe he could be a little terror at home ;)

[crunchy_mommy]

I don't have experience with preschool, my DS is only 2.5, but I just wanted to mention that (unless it varies by state or something!) you don't HAVE to send your kid to preschool. I think they mention it because it's just what most people do & most will jump at the chance, you know? Plus it's one of their main ways of continuing services past age 3. But it's still your choice. EI assumed our DS would be going to preschool at 3 and kept talking about it as if it were a done deal, & finally I said that wasn't our plan and it wasn't a big deal. I told them he'd be going at 4 (even though I am still planning to homeschool so he may not end up going at all) because it just buys us extra time to make that decision without having to get into the whole homeschool thing. I'm sure they'd be fine with homeschooling too but I just didn't feel like getting into it. So now they've stopped talking about preschool.

But I guess I say that not to discourage you from sending her to school, but to remind you that you have the choice. You sound like you feel really out-of-control or out-of-the-loop on this, and I just want to encourage you to bring the ball back into your court. Ask the questions you need to ask and if your EI therapist can't answer them then call and find someone who can. Maybe you will feel more comfortable with the whole thing if you feel like it's a decision you've made WITH them instead of something they're deciding for you? She is still your DD and you are still her parent & EI is there to support you & her, not to take over.

Oh and from what I've observed, if she's on a special needs bus, she won't be able to run off, there will be an aide there to hand her off to her teacher or another aide that will meet them at the bus drop-off. But I'm sure you could drive her too if that seems best to you.

[lilypad08]

My 3 yr old has SPD and is in a "normal" preschool. We actually did not know she had SPD when she started there at age 2, and the preschool asked us to have her seen for a diagnosis because they were having trouble with managing her. We began taking her to an Occupational Therapist who offered recommendations to help the school work with my daughter better.

My 3 yr old is there all day M-F year round, but this is because we are working parents and need her there for childcare purposes. They also offer half days, optional summers, and options for only coming 2 or 3 days a week. There was no bus option available at our school.

There are definitely differences in preschool styles -- I would interview each of the ones you are interested in and think about what would work best for your child. For example, Montessori schools might be perfect for one child but too unstructured for another.

Also, depending on what state you live in, there might be state-sponsored help available for parents/preschools in working with special needs kids. Our state offers a free service where a social worker (who specializes in this subject) visits the preschool, observes the child, and makes recommendations.

Good luck! :)

[lilypad08]

I forgot to mention too, my daughter runs off at times, and that was one of the issues that prompted the school to discuss diagnoses, etc. with us. They put bells on the door to the playground (which she can push open) and they keep an extra eye on her. She ran out of the front door of the building once.

Also, my daugther is not vaxxed. We did not even ask about it; we just handed in a vaccine exemption form instead of vaccine records and never heard any complaints. 

She has not gotten sick any more often since being at the school, and really does not get sick often at all, although I have heard of other babies/kids getting sick a lot in daycare/preschool. Fortunately that has not been our experience.