3yr old and bedtime

[tincia]

I am ready to pull my hair out. My dd will not go to bed at night without numerous issues. The rule in our house is 'i can tell u when to go to bed, but not when to fall asleep'. This meaning, i don't mind them looking at a book in bed or having a conversation wirh a stuffed animal etc but i expect them to be in their bedroom., and be quiet. As of late, this is NOT going well. Bedtime is 8:30 and she's not going to sleep until10:30 because of all the nonsense. Right now we have a chart on our fridge and if she went to bed without major issues she gets a sparkly sticker on the chart..if she gets 10 or more stickers by the weekend, she gets to have a movie night. This is great in theory, but when those nights come when she just doesn't want to go to bed, she couldn't care less about the chart. I don't know how to get her to stop coming out of her room. I need advice!

[iheartwren]

My 2 1/2 year old had a similar issue.  We spent a week walking her back to her bed  over and over and for a few months she did great then she regressed.  I just had a new baby and did not have the patience walking her back over and over again...so we invested in a baby gate and put it in her doorway.   Then i would go do something and check back in on her every 5 -10 minutes and tuck her in again.  She got bored and just began putting herself to sleep.  Now if she comes out a few times we put up the gate and she immediately goes to bed without any fuss.  We were lucky there was almost no crying involved and made me so much less stressed and frustrated and she started going to bed easier and now most nights we don't have to put up the gate at all. 

[RoViMama]

Same story here until recently.  She seems to be a night owl. And she is sharing a room with her 5 yr old sister.  Now that sister is in school, they are both asleep by 8:30.

With DD, we were walking her back quite a few times.  It got to the point where we would close her door after a couple times.  (Not that that helped)  

What I learned about my DD is that she is snuggler.  And she needs to stay calm.  So we start getting ready at 7:45ish.  Jammies, teeth, potty, pick out clothes for next day.  Then around 8, I read for 20 minutes.  Lately, with the new schedule, I lay with her for about 3-10 minutes depending on how much time she needs or how much I have .  She likes to be tucked in REAL tight.  Sometimes she comes out to go potty.  We just say "Okay go potty and then go back to bed."  I tell her that I will tuck her in two times.  When those times are over, I'm done. She can ask daddy or go to bed upset.  This was a LONG process.  I think the only reason it is reallly working is b/c her sister is zonked out by 8:25.  

I guess what Im saying is the playing in room didn't work with this one.  It did with the first.  I had to adjust my schedule slightly to help her.  Please I had to read GO the F*&$ to sleep ALOT to make myself not feel alone. 

[tincia]

We did the gate thing and it did work but she now is able to climb it so we had to stop because it was dangerous. We even tried 3 different gates out of desperation and even put the little potty in at bed time! That worked, but now that we can't anymore we r out of ideas again.
Rovimama-how did u get away from the play in the room routine? We have a well established bedtime routine of bath, jammies, story and bedtime snack, teeth then into bed. Maybe i should take out her shelf with books and toys and just leave a couple of books and stuffed animals? Problem though is that the play room with all the toys is the open landing area that her room leads to.. I think if we took out the toys etc that she already has, she would start having problems with ending up out there at night.
Right now dh does story time in our bed then i do teeth and take her up and tuck her in. Maybe she is wanting more one on one time with me? Before ds came 5 mos ago, i did the full bedtime routine..so maybe if we started a little earlier then we could the routine he already have down, then i could spend ten min. in her room with her reading and talking in bed? Does that sound worth trying? Any suggestions for the 2 nights a week when hubby is at hockey and can't help wirh the other 2 while i do the one on one time?

[minkin03]

Is she still taking naps during the day? I could tell when my dds were done with naps by the fact that they wouldn't be able to fall asleep until late, like your dd. 

[tincia]

Yes she does still take a nap some days. If she doesn't she falls asleep at the supper table! I have moved them to much earlier though. Maybe i should start limiting them to an hour.

[minkin03]

Originally Posted by tincia 

Maybe i should start limiting them to an hour.

That might help. My 5 yo took naps religiously up until a few months ago. About a year ago we had the same problem you are having where she couldn't fall asleep at night. I had her stop taking a regular nap and she started napping in the car on the way to get her sister from school. They turned out to be  15/20 min. power naps which was just what she needed and she was still capable of falling asleep at a decent hour. Sounds like your dd is in that horrible transition stage where she kind of doesn't need the naps anymore but yet can't go without them either. So limiting the length of the nap may do the trick. 

[thelucc]

Maybe you should take some drastic measures here. And by drastic, I mean more work for you! But hopefully it will pay off! My almost 3 yr old is breeze to put to bed, but sleep training my 7 yr old when she was a toddler was hard!!! I would buy a baby gate, a good solid one she can't get out of or over (if you can) and remove most toys from her room. Don't allow her to play anymore. Read the story with her if she gets a bedtime story and then tell her its time to rest her eyes, no exceptions! Her body clock is going to be off for awhile since she has normally been falling asleep at 1030 or whenever you said, but you should give it a couple weeks to work. Just a suggestion!