I'm in a situation where I need to decide if I want to continue a friendship or just let things lie peacefully and move on.
Her and I have known each other since college. She was my maid of honor in my wedding and pretty much over the past 10 years, we've been through some highs and lows in our lives together.
Her life path is different than mine in the fact that she is 39, single, has never dated anyone since I've known her, just chooses to be 100% on her own. I've been married for over 7 years, known my husband for over 10 years, have 2 kids, and live in suburbia, etc.,
My BIL works for a local establishment where concerts are held and has been there for almost 9 years. He has perks of getting two passes to every show if they are requested far enough in advance. With her being a music guru and in to that scene just as much as I am (or have time for), I told her about my BIL's ticket access. Since then, any show that comes to town that she wants to go, she doesn't hesitate to ask him for the tickets. Out of all of those shows that she's requested the tickets for, she's maybe invited me to two or three - this has been ongoing for at least 4 or 5 years. It got to the point recently where I was getting fed up with her getting to the request first and not thinking about asking if we wanted them instead, seeing that we're am family and all. So it left me bitter and angry and resentful. Feeling of being left out of that scene and just overall.
It seems more often than not, I'm the one that has to make the plans for brunch, a movie, a happy hour. She feels the need to leave the ball in my court since I do have a bit more on my plate than she does, which I think is fine, but at the same time, a little reciprocation would be nice. There is never a need to assume that I'm busy - just being asked is a good feeling.
Two weekends ago, she had gone to a show that I had told her about two months ago that we should go together. I find out on FB that she's going with her usual single crew, send her a half jokingly text about it, she gets defensive, said it was a last minute thing and that I'm supposed to be okay with it. I think it added more fuel to the fire of again, being left out just being I wasn't around, etc., Just this last weekend, she was at yet again another show and my BIL texted my DH to see if it was okay to give her a comped drink knowing that I was upset with her over a few things. It went back and forth, I told my BIL that I didn't like how she was taking advantage of the situation and decided to vent a little bit on FB. Her name was never mentioned, but apparently, she felt it was directed towards her and de-friended me from FB. I find this out yesterday. Sure - I should've voiced how I felt from the get-go and that my reactions were "knee jerk", if you will.
I'm just not sure what to do. Our history together is pretty extensive - we have been there for each other in sticky situations - but my feelings have been hurt and she doesn't feel I'm acting the way a friend should either. So we're both in the wrong. What would you do?? Maybe having single friends isn't something that should be in my life right now? She is the only single friend that I do have - everyone else I know is married and/or has kiddos.