Do you ever have something that bugs you a little at the time, but the further away from it you get the more you stew on it and get pissed off?
I wasn't happy with our first OB visit. There wasn't anything majorly wrong with the OB appointment, but a few red flags went up. Mostly I felt like I was being shoved through a Prenatal Care Machine rather than working with my doctor.
At my appointment, which was at 7.5 weeks, my doctor said the next step was to go in for a nuchal translucency and blood draw, which sounded fine. I think ultrasounds are neat, I'm not going to complain about a fancy one.
But when she said what it was for - to check for chromosomal anomalies - I took a step back. Originally my husband and I hadn't planned on doing that sort of testing. We're both young enough that we're not high risk for anything. But she insisted "everyone gets this test."
I asked whether there's anything one can do if an anomaly is detected, and she basically said "no but some people choose to terminate." What other people do with their pregnancy is between them and their god, but between me and mine termination would not be an option. When I said so to my doctor she said "well, you never know what you'd want to do when faced with that situation." Uh, what?
I consider part of my responsibility to life to include keeping myself out of situations where I might have to make those choices. So, what I want to do in "that situation" is not get myself in that situation to begin with. When we were still dating, my husband and I didn't start having sex until we agreed that we were in a place financially and emotionally where having a baby wouldn't be the end of the world. An estimated 70% of pregnancies with positive trisomy 21 testing are terminated, and while it's not my place to pass judgement on others, I find that unsettling.
Ultimately my doctor admitted it was my choice whether or not to have the tests done, and the part of me that thinks science is cool really wants to. I mean, what science geek doesn't want to see their own genetic workup alongside some high-res ultrasounds of their baby? But I really, really didn't appreciate the way my doctor handled it. She had this attitude of "why aren't you just going with the flow?"
I want my doctor to manage my pregnancy according to my body, not according to a spreadsheet of things most of her patients do.
I'm meeting with a different midwife and OB next week, so that process is already in motion, but I just had to get that off my chest.